Okay, I realize I am a co-dependent, I let myself stay in this situation. I should have left a long time ago. Then what n2thevoid.

"Then what"?

Ask yourself. I answer that I am playing right into your co-dependency.

Dude, wtf, I dont get what point your making? Im trying to figure this out. I say I want to see a therapist, write journals, improve, and now youre pulling this shit on me. I dont understand, honestly.

Ok so do all of the above. I don't see what your issue is.

Man, are you just trying to mind fuck me? 'if i answer that I play into your codependency...'. I was trying to reply to your post. If you know so much, and can see it so clearly, please, enlighten me, because I am eager to know why I cant get this girl out my head who treated me so shit or why I put up with it. I cant. I swear if it was a friend I would smack them straight, but I dont know why I do. I cant explain it.

Short of it your entire sense of self is strung-up on an image you've created of her.

You 'lost' her (you never really 'had' her anyway) and you're fighting as though you've lost a piece of yourself, your identity.

Why wouldn't you put up with crap from her or any other girl?! That's the question you should be asking. You're trying to connect to yourself through a woman, its a lose/lose situation.

Damn, thats a pretty good analysis. How do I regain this identity of myself, this missing piece that I look for in other people?

By learning how to connect to yourself...

okay, and that is done through therapy and journalling?

1) stop looking to others for answers on what to do
2) start connecting to your own feelings
3) stop blaming others, or trying to fix situations or others, you can only fix yourself
4) surrender to the fact that your relationship is over and accept your past actions as being the best you knew how to do at the time
5) establish boundaries and be ready to follow through on them if others are refusing to help you meet needs


not an exhuasitive list just a start, i'm tired and I need to go workout lates

field-reports/journey-becoming-better-m ... 96862.html

For those of you interested.

Glad something's sticking and you're moving ahead.

x

I know very well where you are at, whysoskinny. I've been there for 11 years.

She is running a major "push-pull" routine on you - and this is something narcissists are specially good at.

They seduce and allure you in, then build you up until you are in paradise. When they see the stars in your eyes they hit the switch and fuck you over. This pattern repeats until they get bored of you and throw you away. If you stop paying and start demanding things she will either dump you straight away, or she will accept it and start getting respect for you again. Either way, YOU'VE GOT TO SET BOUNDARIES!

I would actually guess that she either has a personality disorder of that sort - or that she has been abused in her earlier years. Or some other traumatic experience.

I've not read all your posts, but I don't get the feeling that things are any better - but worse.

You are addicted to this girl. She owns your balls. You have self worth issues, you belive that "this is it" and that you can't get someone that good again. That's a statement. Try to wrong me on it.

Truth is; get the fuck out. Now. Before you get stuck with kids etc. Exit now - and I promise you will find another with all the good qualities you see in her - but without the shitty attitude she is throwing at you. You don't deserve it. No one does.

Read between the lines in the post i started in sept. 2015. You'll get it. We've walked the same path.

Edit:
I just read some more posts and have learned that she left you. Consider yourself lucky! Honestly!

If you need to get your head straight hit me up with a pm and I'll help you. I'll dealt with this shit for 11 years.

_________________
The best way to predict the future is to create it.

Talk to her. Communicate with her. If that's not possible, then there is no relationship. And in that case it's time to move on. Learn your lessons and don't live in the past. You cannot change it.

_________________
Everyone deserves someone who makes them look forward to tomorrow. Be that someone for someone.