You have work to do on your perception of the world. I don't need to meet this girl to know she's a bad seed. Clearly you are struggling with the idea that she is a bad person because you complain one minute and then fall in love all over again the next. Even if she WAS a good person, this relationship needs a hiatus. Don't contact her beyond the luggage. You need to focus on yourself. Make a new post somewhere else in possibly inner game or something and never mention this girl again. We will be willing to help you from there but only under those conditions.

I wrote a post just before, but it didn't send unfortunately. Basically, obviously there is something wrong with me. I have paid attention to everything you guys have said here. Some of you have said that the whole story doesn't seem to be written. I have tried my best to be detailed.

When she bit me, the day she bit me, it was on valentines day. A girl had snapchat texted me, a girl she knew that use to like me. She was just a friend, and even had a boyfriend. She had told me to delete her and not talk to her but I didn't. When she saw she texted me she freaked out and grabbed my phone. This then led to her not giving it back until I had enough and tried to grab it back, she kicked, punched, and then ending up biting me on my shoulder. Through this, I explain it because maybe she thought I was cheating on that there was another girl, and she acted in a way which was over the top?

One thing I did realize is that, in a way I was her show pony. At her gala at her school, when it was just her and I, she would look at me and say 'why do you have to look like that', 'who smiles like that in a fucking picture', 'can you walk straight like a normal fucking human being'. And the moment her friends came by, she would start hugging me, cuddling me, kissing me, as if I was a trophy of hers. I realized me texting her friends showed her I wasnt that guy, they probably all think I am a creep or whatever, and therefore why would she want anything to do with me. I just realized all her friends unfriended me on social media, snapchat, instagram...

It hurts. And yet in a fucked up way I still miss her, and think I could do something. Harvey spectre says that there is always a way, when someone has a gun to your head, you pull out another gun, a bigger gun, you run, you hide, you have options. I must have options. This summer she will be five minutes from my house in Europe, where we met... do you understand that, five minutes. Do you not get why I think she would message me or otherwise. I go through spells where I want to text her and tell her I miss her, and then moments where I read all your posts and think jeezish what a c*nt. I saved all your messages, to re read and re read. And yet I still blame myself because of how the relationship ended. Do you not see, I messaged her friends, I took it outside the relationship, I painted a picture that maybe she was cheating on me, even through everything she did to me, that must have been a huge slap in the face to her.

I moved to America for her, I live in a shitty fucking town, a shitty fucking place, I went out last night and realized girls are sluts, 1) dancing up on each other in clubs barely wearing anything 2) she will be doing the same thing, moving on, flirting with guys. If she hasnt already.

I know you said there is no closure, the only closure I can get is me moving on. But no - I was with her for two fucking years almost, can you not show you miss me, or give me a goodbye conversation. When I first messaged her after the break up all she said was 'WE ARE NOT TOGETHER I OWE YOU NOTHING, stop talking to me and move on'. Just like that. How fucking cold can you be, how brutal can you be.

some of you asked for her pictures, I guarentee she is gorgeous, a girl on sports scholarship, blond hair blue eyes, amazing skin, amazing ass and body, 5 ft 8, funny and witty, such smooth skin and just like a breath of fresh air honestly. People always use to tell me how pretty she is and asked me if she modelled.

I feel absolutely helpless, but I want to better my life. Bought a new computer, camera, I want to do things, but inside I feel empty, and still blame myself.

Ill attach the picture below of her bite marks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dV8qatk3OY

Tomorrow she has a track meet in my town I just found out and a part of me wants to message her, one final time before sending her shit back, I'm not saying this to go against your advice, but maybe if she is so close and has a spring break next week I want to say something, ask her if she would want to meet?

I'll wait to hear back. But this week she was suppose to stay at my place for a week.

You should definitely ask her. She, of course, is going to decline and probably be hostile to you while she does it. Then you can come back and ask why she is being like this and if you were the one to cause her to be this way. Someone will explain to you that you should move on and give you a bunch of reasons. You will then defend her being the way she is and wonder if you should contact her.

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Yeah I agree with JackZero because your mind is overloaded with tons of different ideas. You become what you think about. If you keep thinking about the "good times" then your idea of her will be good. Guess what! If you keep contacting her and she previously thought you were being way too needy then she will continue to think that! The only thing you can hope for right now is that she doesn't get a restraining order. Seriously! If you think that messaging her because she is close means there's a chance to meet up then I'll debate with you on this - she knows you will be close and so if she wants to see you then she will contact YOU. If she doesn't contact you then you have your answer. Don't feel like she might still be into you but you have to win her back by taking the lead. You are not in a position to do that. Why don't you just stop talking to her, her friends, and about her for...14 days....and then if she hasn't shown any signs of missing you then you can bet you need to wait longer.

I understand, if I was to send something it would be something like:

"Hey, I know you have a track meet near me tomorrow, followed by a week break. During the time we haven't spoken and been apart, I have done a lot of thinking and contemplating, things that I could have done differently and what was unhealthy. You know me very well and how much I can care and love. I know what we had wasn't perfect, but what we built together was something I valued and I showed it in wrong ways. I was wondering if you would want to meet or talk. I know what is here between us can overcome anything.

I don't understand how that would be a bad thing to send? I'm so torn between sending that at times, and other times just being like here's your tracking number for your luggage, go Fûçk yourself. Why do I want to fucking defend it it's so sad.

Is the message that bad?

Send it! You want to do it. Don't let logical thinking stop you from doing the wrong thing.

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@whysoskinny

You are addicted to this woman. No matter how many posts, how much advice you won't start feeling better.
I don't think that you don't understand what is going on. You just choose to see things with your heart rather than your logic. It hurts. I know, I understand and I feel really sorry for what you are going through.
We have all been hurt by love.
And yes I do believe you that she was really nice in the beginning, that she was someone who was a trophy. I understand how amazing you were feeling next to her... BUT time passed and it turned into something unhealthy.
I also think that you dodged a bullet because you could never move forward with this woman and be happy. Such a relationship wouldn't be able to proceed into longterm, into family etc.
She spared you lots of drama and getting you even more hurt. This break up is a bless in disguise.
Abuse only gets worse with time. Things never go back to the initial stage.

You need to be firm, tell her that she has 10 days to decide how she wants her stuff back. You would even pay to get her to her door if she is short of money. If she won't complies after the 10 days you consider them rubbish and you throw them in the bin. No negotiations, no attempts to speak to her, no ties with her.

Then find a support group to help you recover. After that forget her. The more you speak about her the more answers you try to find ... the more keeps you addicted to this woman.

When you'll get over the break up, the answers of what happened and why will come to you. Just remember to work on recovering from the abuse.

A forum on PUA is not trained to help people who have gone through abuse.

Lol

Insecure attachment style resulting in extreme codepencency

I suggest you contact a therapist, somebody preferably who specializes in attachment issues. Not sure where you are but there should be a redbook for the US, a sort of mental health directory where you can find a therapist in your neck of the woods, or go on psychology today to find one

I don't do this sorta thing online, and this is a personal and professional boundary of mine.

Its been 7 days her and I haven't had really contact. Really any initial talk (except for the luggages.

Tomorrow, I think I will go to the UPS Store and send her the luggage, and then send her the tracking number. Look, tonight I played at a college, and tomorrow she will be at the same college. Twenty minutes away. It kills me that maybe if I didnt message her friends that she would be coming over to my place for a week. All this kills me. I am literally going through the hardest times. I meet with consellors, I am on fucking anti depressants, she has NO IDEA what I am going through, whilst lets be honest, shes probably moved on to the next guy and never looked back once or thought about it. I even hung out with another girl and that made me feel worse.

YES - I am fucking addicted to this girl. I am surprised I have not messaged her, I am listening to you all, but flicking that switch in my head is just taking time or simply not happening.

Look, I always believe there is a way, my friend today said the same thing to me. There is always a way.

I dont know if that way for me is messaging her admitting to her how far I took it with messaging her friends, how it was wrong, how it should have never reached that point. That time apart has taught me a lot that I have learnt a lot. That we have a summer just five minutes apart from each other, that it would be a shame to throw this all away. There has to be words I can say to rekindle the flame, and learn from this. There just has to be. Imagining her with another guy makes me feel sick, weak, makes me want to throw up.

Im asking you guys to not give up on me, I appreciate all the advice you give me, I revisit this page more and more everyday and re read your answers hoping for something to click. I just dont undertand why I want someone back who treated me this way, and I cant help but feel that if I was less needy maybe things would have been different. She said to me, all the time, 'fix your shit, stop being needy, then see how our relationship goes'.

Let it go and move on, you're clinging to this and its destroying your life. Nobody can help you but yourself. At this point its not even healthy for you to post here as its just a forum for you to ruminate over and over without any movement forward.

I love her. I came to America for her. I dont want to let it just go if I still have a chance. I dont know what the fuck I am going to do next.

If I can admit my faults to her and thats what she wants to hear, then thats what I might have to do. If space gets her back, thats what I might have to do. I just need to decide.

I'm out, this is pointless.

Its not pointless, I know N2tothevoid is a therapist, I get it, and maybe in your eyes this seems illogical, but I am making positive steps. Two weeks ago I would have been contacting her at any means, now I do not. I do not call her, i have blocked her on any form of social media and erased her number. However the next part, mentally, is proving to be extremely tough.

Please remember for a year, I feel like I was torn apart, bit by bit, my confidence, my inner strength, everything I did, 'you fucking retard', 'you idiot'. I still hear it.