Alright this is going to be one of the how to get your EX back threads that everyone loves so much

So long story short is I was off and on with my EX for like 18 months. I broke up with her a bunch of times because I was scared of commitment but would eventually get back together on my terms.

Well the last time we broke up she met someone new. That's when I realized I wanted to be with her and tried to make it happen. We kind of worked things out but then she eventually dropped me to peruse the other guy.

I went NC and she reached out but she wont leave the other guy. I've hooked up with her a bunch of times even though she has a new BF. She wont leave the other guy though because he is "safe" but she probably lost attraction to me as well.

Anyways, with my current situation I can still hook up with her but she isn't going to leave the other guy as far as I know. Assuming I wanted to girlfriend this women what is the best approach? Do I keep seeing her on the side (she knows I'm hooking up with other women) or do I NC her and tell her to hit me up if things don't work out with the new guy.

Thanks guys.

Edit - this girl is 29 so she is probably entering the "obtain security" stage of her life if that makes a difference.

Depends on what YOU want, doesn't it?

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

What I want is to be back to being exclusive with her but I don't know the best tactic.

My sense is that I need to walk away to get what I want. But when I'm with her she lights up and we are magic together. Do I leverage our time together to make her second guess the new guy or do I give her the gift of missing me and NC her?

Option 1 is her way, and you are enabling it.

Option 2 is harder, but it's your way.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

How would you guarantee her that IF you would get back together not the same shit would happen and you'd end it because you get scared again?

It sounds unlogic to me from your exs perspective to take that leap risking ending up with nothing at all. Which is the opposite of what she wants (at her "looking for security" age)

You've been fucking around for eighteen months and when she found someone else you suddenly want her back?

Man you guys need to start taking responsibility for your own actions. You literally had one and a half years to get serious. You didn't.

Find someone else.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

SO SOP she made you her little bitch. It is funny cuz you became a bitch. I think u dont have any piece of self respect for yourelf and my idea about why you came here is you wanted to be himuliated by us, cuz you actually know how does your current relation? with her sucks and you havent got enough balls to kick her ass out.

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Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.

The above. And I will expand.

You take her back and become exclusive. And then what? You are suddenly in love, harmony, make plans for the future, get a mortgage, buy a house, organize the wedding, make babies, take them to nursery school for the first time, see them graduate college? And live happily ever after..

She made her choice. She wanted you to be her man but you didn't want her enough. Leave her alone.

You need to determine exactly what you want in life and start from there. If that's exclusivity, marrige, babies, etc, then you need to focus on getting that. If that's not what you want, don't pursue women who are looking for it. It's a great time for you to examine yourself first. Do you want her back for the same things she wants out of life, or is it because you don't have her fully?

Well I told her not to contact me as long as she is with her new bf and she hasn't. I'm kind of regretting my decision already because she was supposed to come over Monday but now its out of my hands. I really want to marry this women but telling her this will most likely drive her away from me. All I can do now is wait for her to realize she wants to be with me.

I have 3 other plates I'm spinning (already slept with two of them) and I'm taking the third out to a pub 2 minutes from my house.

I'm not a total AFC I'm just a guy in love with his ex (maybe that makes me an AFC I dunno).

You sound like a woman dude, wanting a girl once she's gone . Man the fuck up and go for what you want in life. I bet all other aspects of your life are out of whack as well. Learn your lesson , and keep it movin

You want to marry a woman you refused being exclusive with for 18 months because she's found a dude that's willing to offer her what she wants.

Yeah.






























Right.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Sometimes people only value what hey had after they lost it.
Sometimes people feel they're too good for her bf/gf and break up/hook up (depending on their hormonal state), because they think the other part won't find anyone better. Well, sometimes they're wrong.

I believe what happened to you was a mix of these 2 things. With a notch: if you two would get back together, your hormones would start pumping iron and you'd leave her again, because of something.
Go fuck some other girls, that feeling will disappear.

If you can rebuild the lost trust, you could have a chance with her again. Start slowly. Stop seeing others and commit yourself to her. If you really wanted her exclusively, why would you go out with others?

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Be Patient.

She's seeing someone else.

You either didn't read his topic or are giving bad advice. Either way, review it.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.