I just want different perspectives on this. Everyone knows the shitty abusive relationship I was in. Somehow she managed to turn it around and act as if she was the victim and she ended it with me.

I have a question, is it really true that when you reach a point where the relationship is just over, toxic, and she ignores you, doesn't reply, is the best thing to do nothing. It's just done?

Is there any plan/tactic/any story, letter, or words that can be used.

I messaged her friends asking if there was another guy, or what was up and she basically labelled me a stalker. After being treated like shit, called names, and so more I reached a place I was just so insecure and didn't know what to think.

Now I have to recreate myself, better myself, I was just thinking, even if I did want to fight for her, out of curiosty and a gaming point, how would I even go about it.

You are done. Quit looking for a loophole to get her back.

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Yeah I'm sorry this looks about done.. do you and show her that you don't need her to be you, and who knows. Maybe in due time (weeks, months or years) she might come crawling back to you. But don't initiate any more contact man.

Haha... "out of curiousity"....

Omg

You made a thread on how to stay with an abuser... Now you want the abuser back.

Go see her.

Fight for her man. You really gonna give up on her and let her find someone better? Show her your man enough to fight for her

Your trolling me arent you.

Mostly

But I think if you do want her back, its the only option - go begging. She wasnt with you for dominance or self esteem, so you cant really play jealousy here. Now thats terrible advice, but your heads fucked up. And you dont get it. So maybe hitting rock bottom (which you've already passed months ago) will wake you up. Again, that terrible advice to go back, but you havent learned anything and still dont have respect for yourself. Youll moan an whine and may even find someone again to hold on to.

why am i so fucked up...

honestly.

I dont know...arent you in therapy?

Honestly my consellor sucks. Anti depressants work but I am still sad. I always think about her, think about the things I can do. I always think there is something I can do fix it, fix her.

Don't try to fix someone else before you fix yourself.

Mod edit: Made the text huge because it's the most important sentence in here

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I was thinking of writing her a letter, things I fucked up, things I did wrong, how I was wrong to message her friends and give it to her.

I just dont get how this is so easy for her.

I made a list of things she did to me, and for some fucked up reasons, im blaming myself for some of them


• Called me abusive names constantly
• Slapped me
• Drove to her every weekend without appreciation
• Bit me
• Didn’t return my calls or texts
• Would pick out my flaws, everything I wore, haircut
• Never complimented me
• Never asked about my day
• Acted fake infront of her friends and on social media about us
• Doesn’t like sex, used it as bargaining tool
• Would say she was busy to not talk to me or avoid talking to me
• Deleted people off my Instagram and snapchat
• I Paid for everything
• Told me how to eat
• Manipulated the break up
• Never apologized to me

Do whatever you want man....

Seriously OP, what do you want? You're miserable with her and you're miserable without her. You keep bitching about her.

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Clearly you were miserable with her. How couldn't you have been? However, you are holding yourself accountable for all of her behaviors. Everything she did, including breaking it off, made you feel like it was your fault. You are dealing with a sociopathic partner or something to that degree that doesn't feel the need to protect your feelings. You are weak minded about your role in this relationship and you blame yourself because you don't have enough self esteem to realize you are the only man on this planet willing to go back to that. Not to commend you on that but the next guy she gets with is going to either dump her ass off the bat, send her to jail, or kill her. I'm serious. People that manipulate to this degree don't always last long. They run into people they thought they could control that have hot buttons they don't mean to press. My advice is get some clarity. Your therapist doesn't suck. You are the one doing this to yourself by beating yourself up over this failed relationship. What she did was not your fault. Be thankful that she ended it because it sounds like you would have stayed in the relationship until she either had destroyed your life or you had ended yours. You need to reconnect with your own happiness outside of her. When you do that you will forget about her. You see, when you dwell in this negative environment your mind is creating then a negative and abusive person can feel comfortable like it's all you know. When you are a happy person who knows their worth then you will realize the drag this person is and cut them off. Until you are happy you can't move on. Not the other way around. It's impossible to get closure for things you aren't responsible for and one thing you can't do is fix her. Forget about all the things you've done that she labeled as "stalker" or "weird" and go find someone who uplifts you rather than tears you down. But first, you have to come from a place of happiness because no one wants to be around someone depressed and self-pitying.