girl on dating app. freaking hot. She has a jennifer lopez ass. I am sure she gets 100 messages a day.

Honestly, I am thinking of giving up the online thing at this point because I am frustrated. I've had zero success. is it possible to get laid online with a semi-attractive girl? yes. Is it worth the time and effort? I think not. I think out of 1000 girls, maybe one is serious. the rest are just playing around or they will get cold feet and never meet you.

but I was wondering if you could critique my messages. maybe I am doing something wrong. The blue is me, the red is her:



That's it.

This cannot be real.

Ive seen you get advice here that's beyond dating apps and getting laid. Why are you not taking that advice?

neo, I know I need to find some activities like improv, boxing. I am not going to give you the lame excuse of not having "a chance" or "the time" to do it. I just didn't feel like looking around.

Well man, if you continue, I dont see any success coming from that. So you either have to change the important things before changing "text game."

To the messages, the girl (if real) was clearly out of your league and talked to you like shit. Sure, she was a bitch, but I'd guess she wont have spoken to you like that if you were average looking.

I wish I could find strong enough words to express how much I hate this.

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That right there is your problem. You don't give a shit about things that actually matter. You come on these forums to vent your frustration, but you don't do anything that will actually change your life and give you a solid foundation in which you can become non-needy and more socially / emotionally fulfilled. Life is more than women. Relationships are one part -- not the whole. Don't fake your business card, actually BECOME the man you're describing. I'm not going to repeat the solid advice that others have repeatedly given you.

About your messages.. "You look like my dog?" What the fuck? I'm not big on texting, but something tells me that calling her a bitch isn't the right way to start a conversation. Maybe it'll work on some (insecure) people, but a confident woman will see right through that attention-seeking shit.

This. Twice.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Hey man,
You're right, I don't want to pretend to be non-needy, I want to BE non-needy. and you're right about being socially/emotionally fulfilled. I have felt this very phenomenon before, some days I am socially and emotionally fulfilled in other ways and pick-up seems so much easier.

I know the first line is no good. I am stupid but not that stupid.
But I am not going to invest my time coming up with the perfect line because let's face it, they won't respond anyway. How do I minimize my investment? I just say the first thing that comes to my mind. that's the first thing that came to my mind when I saw her pictures. I have no idea why, I don't even have a dog.

In a weird way, that whole thing was working.

Your not giving a shit, made you non outcome dependent. It caused boldness.

REFINE IT! She was feeding you clues.

This is your niche. Do it again. Post it.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Thanks for the compliment. You know, I was hesitant to put "I've had zero success online" in my first post above because I was concerned it would bias people's opinions of this specific text message. this text message is not representative of what I usually write. Usually I dont write things this bold but I figured she is hot and she wont respond to anything else. you might be right, I really understand this niche. I also find it interesting that you were not biased by all the negative criticisms above.

can you tell me the clues she was feeding me? maybe subconsciously I know them, but I can't identify them.

Alright man, I feel bad for you so I'm going to help you with what I've done so far. You realized what you have to do, now to do it. Get out there, join social clubs that interest you, watch talks / documentaries / things that expand your mind, go to events, read literature, work on your business / career, travel, get fit, just do shit. This is how you become an interesting man.

Like you, I'm still a newbie; I started on this path 3 months ago (see my oneitis thread?) But, the difference between you and me is that I do shit. Not trying to come across pretentious, but in a few short months I went from not being able to talk to a girl to having 2 girls saying that they love me (and me gently turning them down because they're honestly not the kind of women I'd be with!) You gotta do shit man, that's how you move forward.

After what Heywood Jablowme said, I got thinking. The stuff you did here, maybe this is your personality, and maybe you can polarize using it to your advantage. You can refine it.

The thing is, you seemed outcome independent, bold and not giving a shit. But face it, that was just a facade -- in your mind you actually really care. Therefore, not bold and giving lots of shit. You cared enough to the point to come on here and complain that you might just give up online game. And that is needy.

You were being bold / cocky, but also kind of insulting, in my honest opinion. Self-respecting women, at least from what I know (and I admit that I don't know much yet) probably won't respect you because what you say and do didn't really gel with your personality. It's not congruent with who you are (yet). Your true personality started leaking into the messages and you became needy really quickly, masked behind a facade of boldness.

If I were to actually tell a woman that she looks like a dog (and hell why would I be attracted to her if she did -- the message is reaction seeking / inauthentic), and she told me that she had a lizard that looks like me, why would you follow with "You have a lizard?" That is not my personality but if I were you, I would have kept it going with "That lizard must be damn handsome." A bit narcissistic, but it might work if you have the real confidence to pull it off. Probably not.

I recommend you drop the fake alpha bullshit and learn to make yourself vulnerable by being honest with your intentions and thoughts and actions.

Calling you a 'Sandman' was a shit test. You remained unruffled.

The 'dick comment' could easily have been turned into sexual teasing.

'No dick pic's for you, I hardly know you!'

See the Jlo's of the world are constantly being put on pedestals.

Your dog opener kicked it right out from under her. She was trying to regain ever since.

I don't want to give you to much here, it would just turn it into a try hard fail.

1. Refine it.

2. Push-pull.

Do it again.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Yeah I kinda likes how this was going. I agree that could have gone a little sexual at points but that's not a huge issue.

The real question is, and sounds like a common theme with you, is where is any of your online game going? There's a saying... "Begin with the end in mind." Just exchanging a few witty lines and a little push-pull is gonna fizzle out quick unless you're taking it somewhere. What are you wanting? A friend? A pen pal? A number? A date? Gotta look at WHY you're messaging 1000 women online. Do you have a clear plan? Get focused on what you want out of your efforts, then direct your efforts in a way that accomishes your goal. You want a number? Ask! You wanna get sex? Be sexual! If you just chat up girls with no plan, you'll have hundreds of conversations that just dry up. Like you said, girls get tons of messages all the time. Guys do just like you did then it doesn't go anywhere. What are you expecting to happen? You throw out a few negs do a little flirt and expect her to say "wow you're amazing I'm yours"? Women want you to direct the action, whether its texting, on a date, or between the sheets. If you aren't sure where you're driving the conversation to, you can be sure its not going anywhere.

OP read this like it's your life's mantra.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

hey guys
thanks for all your comments.
I did spot the opportunities to make it sexual but I thought that was a trap. The part were she talked about having a dick in my pants, I thought she is setting me up for a trap to say something about my dick and it would go downhill from there. I wanted to act like I am not falling into her frame.

And nr32, you're absolutely right. That character is not me (yet). I would not be able to pull this off in real life. When I am hiding behind a screen, I can think about it and say things like that but in real life, no way.

Sorry that I am not addressing everyone individually, but I can assure you I read every reply and I find each and every one of them useful.