^This

My point is,

So basically 3 weeks ago you went on a date, 2 weeks ago you slept with a chick. Within 2 weeks it was over. My point is, it was not the start of a relationship, it was the start of dating someone. You talk like it was, but evidently it wasnt, even for her. The fact that you see it as the "start of a relationship" is exactly why it ended. Get those serious thoughts out of your head; it will only keep you where you are.

Not sure how I should've replied.

She was the one bringing it up, asking me if I had anything else to celebrate besides my birthday? When I told her I was probably going to be drinking since I usually don't, she said I wouldn't want to miss it, send me snap chats..


She's leaving tommorow for 6-7 days for a work related thing

Is it ok to leave her a farewell message? We havent spoke since she contacted me on wednesday.

You're really clinging to this.

A girl who's interested will find a way to reach-out to you, no matter how hectic her schedule is, a simple "good morning" text or whatever is typical of someone interested.

You keep putting yourself out there for someone who clearly isn't interested.

She's telling you in a nice way she's not feeling things. It's best you just move on from this and free yourself up for someone who is willing to meet you half way.

Don't message her period, unless she's contacting you to hangout (in a more-than-friends way) there's no point to any of this.

I guess you're right.. I'm obviously clinging because I really liked her alot, and I meet a girl I want to invest with once every two years or so. It's just that when I was about to give up she messages me saying sorry for not contacting me, and says she's thinking about me.. What can I do.. I really like this girl.

I know she's legit busy. Not to the point of not having time to message me obviously but yeah. I don't think she actually went out at all the last two weeks.

I won't be messaging her first, that's for sure. But I'm pretty sure I will hear again from her.. We had a great connection and she was head over heels for me before I started acting needy.

Make yourself scarce (busy), do things FOR YOU. In the mean time if she sniffs around cool, if not then it wouldn't have happened anyway.

If she does intiate with you talk to her normally, but don't go on and on and on, keep it light and fluffy. Let her hint at going out and then arrange something. But that's a big IF (it happens).

In the mean time move on as if there's nothing going on between you two. DO NOT INTIATE as hard as it may be - contact a friend instead, journal, do whatever it takes to abstain from contact.

I will. Thanks. A girl friend of mine told me I should message her to wish her a good trip, I'm guessing it's a bad idea from what I gathered.

It's soooooo hard though. It's hard for me to connect with people in general, it's even rarer to find a girl I feel is worth dating. When I do it's just fucking ridiculous how much of a pussy I become.

She saw a story of mine where I was having breakfast at the restaurant and there was another girl in the background. That was the morning after she initiated contact and I left the conversation telling her I had to go. I'm stupid enough to make myself believe that maybe she saw this and thought I was already over her and decided to move on..

You've put all your eggs in one basket. Put some more irons on the coal. Why message her a good trip? Out of consideration? You've made all sorts of moves in keeping contact. Let her do something for a change, the more you push the more desperate you'll appear and attraction you lose. It may not even be recoverable, certainly if you start sending more sh*t it's not going to help your cause at all.

No. Don't leave a farewell message. Act like you did before you weren't needy. Remember...when she was asking you out?

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I always do that. I encourage everyone to go through my post history and laugh their asses off.. I've been doing these things constantly since like 2009. I always end up losing the girl and feeling like I'm going to die for the next year or until I find another girl to cling on to.

So change that.

It's hard because when I meet girl either I'm not interested at all or I'm too invested. There's no in between. I consider myself a good looking guy, I attract alot of women, I just don't pursue most of them because I don't connect well... I just panic when I find a nice one.

*sigh*

It's not hard. You know your problem and you need self discipline.

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It's "hard" because ever since 2009 you've been doing the same thing. You're looking towards women for happiness. You think a relationship will fulfill you.

You're trying to fill a void. That's usually due to being dissatisfied with the general direction your life is headed in. You think a girlfriend will bring you closure.
That's why you immediately turn needy. You should focus on getting your shit together for a change.

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