Hi all!

I met this girl a month ago. We've seen each other 4-5 times, usually over lunch or dinner, and I know that she likes me and feels comfortable in my company. That feeling is certainly mutual – and I would very much like to have sex with her in order to create a long-lasting relationship with her. The max we have done so far is cuddled in bed before falling asleep. On the one hand, I think it's good that we haven't rushed into anything. On the other hand, things could go a bit faster...

These are the problems that I am currently experiencing with her:

- She doesn't ask me questions in return. Our interaction revolves around conversations that start from my questions (and me reacting to her answer) – and around comfortable silences, which inevitably always follow.
- There is absolutely no compliance whatsoever, or just very minimal (she did ask if I'm hungry and offered to give me some food, but no true effort there).
- I'm not a challenge to her because she knows that I like her.

So, what tips can you give?

Thanks in advance!

BFF

The most you've ever done was cuddle in bed? There was no kissing involved? Just on what I'm reading here, it gives me the feeling that you are not initiating anything sexual at all.

I can't understand why you think the problems you are currently having are relevant when she's in the bed sleeping with you unless you're acting like you guys are only friends.

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Awesome reply, thanks!

Basically, what I tried to say is that I don't feel she is responding to my "investments". Attempting to escalate towards sex was so far not possible in a way that would not make me look desperate or needy. I would definitely have used an opportunity if I had identified one. However, so far basically all communication has always been initiated by me. In other words, she hasn't done anything that would make her "deserve my sex". Haha, yes, I admit that I have been reading PUA stuff... But it does appear to make some sense to me that people value what they have to work for!

So the question is: How to escalate towards sex if she does not respond to any of my flirting? With "flirting" I mean all the stuff that I have done so far, such as inviting her for dinner, leaving her a cute postcard (she "forgot" to reply), asking her how her day was, hugging her (from all kinds of directions), etc etc etc...

Ah, I realize it just now: My biggest weakness is that I don't quite know how to escalate smoothly when it's not happening anyway. I guess I'm too much running behind her, hoping that something will happen. Any tips for that?

[Note: I'm having the same conversation in another forum, so this reply from me is copy-pasted.]

I think that reading some of the PUA stuff is getting in your way if you're thinking that she needs to work for something that you want. You were in the bed with this girl, so there was an opportunity. You've been out with her multiple times, so there were multiple opportunities. You just need to get over that fear of rejection and pull the trigger.

I'm 99% sure that this girl is wondering why you aren't making a move. She's probably has sat there during your multiple meetings wondering if this time you're finally going to make something happen. She's not going to sit around and wait much longer, so just take the risk without looking for that perfect moment. If you need some kind of confirmation, grab her hand while walking with her.

Your window of opportunity is closing.

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Hmm, thanks, fair points. You're talking about pulling the "trigger"... The question remains: How to escalate towards sex? I mean, there must be somewhere on some pua sites some advice for it, right? Besides, she got her period yesterday! So I'll have to wait anyway...

Escalation is easy if you don't try to hard. If you can get a girl to walk with you and hold your hand, you can pull her in to kiss you. If you can get her to kiss you in an isolated area, you can get her to make out. If you can get her to make out with you, you can get her to have sex.

The thing is that you want it to be fluid and natural. Don't ask for permission. If you get resistance, back off to the previous step and start again.

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Hmm, this is indeed helpful advice. Keep it coming! Would you recommend me to wait a few days because of her period until I see her again? Or is kissing already now a good idea?

My choice would be to wait.

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