Hey guys!
I really need your advice with my current situation. It's gonna be long, but there are so many things... Is there any way to turn it around?

Little background: I had a oneitis, who became my life goal basically. She made me grounded and gave me the motivation to better myself (she became a celebrity in another country). I managed to become quite successful in my career really young, etc... Which made most women like me, mostly because I didn't care about them.
Anyway, I had a really cute girl at work who fancied me for years, but I always ignored her because of the other one. Literally, I was her oneitis too (we share a friend who told me that everything she does is to impress me). She started to eat healthy, cook, gym, studying as I do. I tested it also, like told our friend how I like girls with "this" hairstyle and after 2 days she got the same haircut...

So, since the start of this year I realized that I shouldn't persue my "old love" anymore, and since a month or so I started to speak with my colleague. And she was absolutely amazing I mean really, she's everything I was looking for in partner (and not because she already liked me and was easy to get). 1st, SHE invited me to hiking with her friends and on the same day she came to a BBQ with my buddies also. - We had a really great time and she seemed happy. -- During this time my other friend/colleague was already hitting on her constantly (I didn't know).

On our first date we walked around a lake then went to see a movie. We spoke during the whole movie, she really liked me, literally begging me with her eyes to kiss her, but I chickened out.
While we waited for her bus I became a needy, chode moron because I freaked out cause I didn't kiss her in the cinema, so I got weak and started to speak about how much I like being with her. I kissed her at the end, but it was awkward and killed the whole night. She changed her attitude right after, and I knew I fucked it up.

Then, she ignored me for a week, then told me that she likes me and wants to see me again. Our friend also told me that she was scared, because I have a "reputation" with other women, and I was joking with her coming up to my flat, lighting candles etc..
Then ignored me again, then told me that she wants to know me better first. Then, when I invited her to a walk, she dumped me over a text saying she'll try again with her ex. Which is not really her ex, but my (ex)friend who was so desperate, after he heard the girl is leaving our company, he applied to a job at the same place she goes to...

So, she had an illusion about me which I failed to live up to and choose the other guy instead. I know that's normal if you have a oneitis and once you finally got her it's over but...I really liked her...
We'll meet again, because I told her how impersonal it is to discuss this over texts. Is there anything I could do, or say to make her reconsider this? I mean she loved me for like 2 years and don't think she really loves my friend to be honest (he has the same personality and looks as me, that's why we became friends in the 1st place). I just have no clue how to handle a situation like this.
Thanks a lot!

She didn't "love" you for two years. I'm not sure you understand what love means since you throw it at someone you shared no intimacy with during that time.

Anyway, you fucked up. This girl was all over you and you knew. And you still didn't have the necessary balls to make a move. Somehow.

In other words, you got exactly what you deserved. Not you personally, but you as a man that does not stay true to his desires. Instead of taking a risk (a very mild one at that considering), instead of going for what you want, you did nothing. You chose this. Quite literally.

Sorry, I know it's a tough pill to swallow, but yeah, welcome to reality. Don't destroy your dignity trying to get her to reconsider. She's been drooling over you for two years. You had your shot.

However, it's not all bad. You must be doing something right if she was so hooked to begin with. Your career seems in order. As far as I'm concerned your main issue is getting cold feet when it's time to pull the trigger.
So just make sure to remember this experience next time you decide to heed your fears instead of acting in spite of them.

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Yes, I came from a really low place and I was not ready to open up to someone, which is required in a relationship. I worked on this, but for 2 years. I knew that she's only open for long term stuff (she has been only with 2 guys before me), and I was scared to let her in, so I ignored her.
I definitely learned a lot from this.
Thanks!

Wait, what?
A relationship is something that happens between two people, overtime, based on how compatible they are with each other.
You do not think relationship before you have sex. Multiple times. You don't think relationship until you've been on several dates and you really get along great. And you by no means think relationship before you even kissed the girl.
And even then, relationships are not something you agree upon, it's something you evolve into.

That being said, what she was open to would've been pretty much exactly whatever you were willing to offer, except you offered nothing. She wanted you for two years. And she would've settled for fuck buddy, friend with benefits, and and pretty much anything else that involved some kind of intimacy with you.

Don't kid yourself. This is your failure. Accept responsibility for it, don't try pinging it on outside reasons just to feel better.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

That's two years you'll never get back.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

The backstory wasn't all that relevant.

If you want any shot with the girl.. Flake on her on the day of the meet and then just wait and see what she does. Perhaps she'll text you asking to meet when things don't go right with the ex.

You were chasing too hard, both physically and emotionally. And asking her to meet up to discuss a "break up" with a girl that isn't even your girlfriend is more of the same. You will only further repel her. When pushing isn't working you have to pull. Be mature enough to let go and be patient.

Aside from that though; you really shouldn't be making this big of a deal over one girl. I'd want you to drop the girl all together, but you don't seem emotionally strong enough to do so.

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