I've recently begun to notice how emotionally connected i am to one of my open relationships. Normally this doesn't happen to me because i keep myself busy, and expand myself out with other girls so i'm not thinking about one girl.

I noticed though that when this specific girl texts me for instance. It makes me happy. When she says she can't hang out, i feel really sad, and when she says she can i get very excited. I understand a little bit of sadness or happiness but i'm talking about extremes.

I don't want someone to have that much control on my emotions. Although at the same time i like this girl. I'm guessing you guys have dealt with this before maybe in the past, so i was wondering what you did to get over this kind of thing?

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There's nothing to "get over", imho. Keep it fun and light, and if she feels the same way you have yourself a girlfriend you're really into.

Quality over quantity.

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About time you came to that conclusion.


How would you feel if she fucked someone else? And if the answer is even remotely hinting at "bad", than why are you in an open relationship with a girl you want to be exclusive with?

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See that's the thing. She believes that there isn't a difference between an open and closed relation ship. Other than a closed one being selfish. She has however told me that she get's jealous at times when i am with other girls. So i feel like i'm in a stale mate.

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No your not. The door is right in front of you.

Have you ever seen a minnow trap?

Minnow traps have a small entrance, all they have to do is swim in to get the bait.
But you see, minnows lack the common sense to simply swim back out. and become the bait for larger, better , higher quality fish.

Your acting like a minnow.

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Time bro.

You'll learn the consequences of emotional dependence and you'll make the adjustments if you're smart in due time. Until you deal with a consequence it is a challenge to conjure up any motivating energy to make a change. Its just like asking " How do I get big muscles?". You go to the gym, workout, rip the old muscles and the new ones will grow in stronger. These are emotional muscles.

Its not an event, its a process.

I believe you read the article " Act Like A Man, Think Like A Woman" that I wrote.. Your answer is there. Sounds like you're looking for a magic pill.

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Lol as told you weeks ago you are desperate for this chick to the point you accept less than you want. Read whysoskinnys thread in relationships... You sound a bit like him. Check your neediness man... That's what is gonna hurt you in the end anyway

Op it is the sign of weakness of your inner game. U r starting to feel a little needy. U care her that is the problem.

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You didn't answer my question, Zeru.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I was just in this situation. We're exclusive now. Focus on keeping it 100% fun. Eventually she'll want you to herself if you rock her world enough.

The girl I'm with now said "I got asked on a date, do you have an opinion?". That was her way of having the "what are we" talk. I told her I'd bail if she went in a date and she was giddy. We've been exclusive since.


This is an opportunity for you to learn to master your emotions.keep your cards to your chest and let her reveal hers first.

There's nothing wrong with catching feelings, it makes the sex better. And it's good learn to hold back.

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I'm 99% all for this statement. The one thing I disagree with is keeping it 100% fun. If a woman value's fun (such as Arch's 21 year old girlfriend), then that's the way to go. Take advantage of what she values, which could be fun, and she'll probably fall into line...probably.

The problem I see here is, and I'm speculating, that you want an open relationship but at the same time you want her to only want you and you know you won't get it from her. If this is the case, you have to make a decision. Can you handle a "real" open relationship or do you need to find a girl that fits your criteria? It's easier to find a girl that will go with what you want rather than changing one that puts her ideals above your relationship.

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I think your definition of emotionally dependent could be wrong. Your goal in a relationship, even an open one, isn't to just fuck everyone and stay emotionally detached. The point is for you to be open to the idea that you may want to love more than one person and fuck all of them. You've found one quality girl! Great! However, your obsession with her is the same as oneitis. You don't have enough girls that make her feel normal and so you think she is the absolute best thing. You've put her on a pedestal. All of this is fine but your open relationships should all match this quality so that you don't see her as having more value than the other girls. If you want to make it exclusive then you just need to be willing to cut her lose when she doesn't want it back. If you want to continue open relationships, find more girls that make you feel fantastic. The emotional ups and downs are your focus on her

Yeah, the problem with that is if the girl wants an open relationship and you get her into a closed one out of fear, ie to keep you to herself, then her longing for sexual freedom will still be there. You CAN get her into exclusivity today, but if she wasnt emotionally ready for exclusivity on her own, then you're asking for problems down the road. Thats why I agree its easier to find a girl who wants what you do, instead of one who doesnt want what you want but you get her to make a choice she wasnt ready to.