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I'm just confused about the whole idea of taking a woman out to dinner just to "be nice", like why a guy would do it.
I can't see a guy buying a girl food, paying for it to be nice, her bringing it home to some other guy, fucking him, and the guy being okay with it (hypothetically), just because he did everything for no other reason than to "be nice".
I have no idea where you keep getting this "to be nice" thing from. No one on this thread has even made the claim that you should be nice to women. No one is going around proclaiming "Pay for dinners, you need to me nice" or "its the nice thing to do." I dont even think I've seen or written the word nice in this thread except for your posts.
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In regards to a woman you've done this with personally, has she done anything for YOU, even so much as bought you a coffee, considered your feelings in any meaningful way to be deserving of having something nice done for her, or do you just take her out for a dinner?
This says alot. You really find it so impossible that you could take a woman to dinner and without telling her, she would get the bill next time, or do something special for you? You ask this question like its a special feat or some great thing, but its just normal. Yes, there are women who would take your food and just hve you keep paying for shit. But I cant say thats the norm. In all my years of dating, I've never once had a woman not do things for me unasked. Ive never once had a woman act like it was my role to just pay for her food so she could fuck her ex. And thats been true for the older women, younger women, students, professionals, different races of women. I may get drinks the first night, the girl gets dinner the second. Or I wake up to breakfast in bed. And that's no big feat..I'd say most women arent that selfish, unless you're finding women at brothels. If the majority of the women you meet are trying to leech off you, I gotta ask where you're meeting these women?
Yes, women can be interested in different dudes. And they can sleep with different dudes if they're single. The money you spend on dinner, doesnt entitle you to her pussy, nor does it lock her pussy down from other dicks. And ultimatums like this, cant realistically be protecting you. A woman can just agree to dinner for sex and leave after the date. If you fuck a woman for a dinner, and she leaves your place to fuck a guy who didnt buy her dinner, by your rules, she's still gotten over on you. If you fuck for a dinner and as an exchange, if she leaves or cheats, does the fact that you fucked her give you some solace?
You're operating from pain and fear and trying to control things that cant and shouldnt be controlled. You're trying to make sex an exchange for dinner. Which is going to make you retain the women who fuck for money/dinner. You're trying to control that she has sex with you. You're trying to control that you arent played. Thats just life man. A chick can always play you, lie to you, cheat on you. But if the way you protect yourself is to use a line that would ensure you get a gold-digger, thats a bad move. If you're example of a "hooker" is a chick trying to fuck 3 different guys...thats not a hooker. She's misleading them, sure. But as you said she was into all of them. Thats not manipulative, its dishonest...and a far stretch from a hooker. Closer to a hooker is a chick who agrees to dinner for sexual favors.
You really need to assess where and what kind of woman you're attracting/meeting. Because when you act like a woman doing something for you is some extraordinary thing, I cant agree with that. There are some fucked up people in the world, but in most of my experiences, people (men and women) are largely giving or at least appreciative. I've bought strangers drinks at the bar, I've had drinks bought for me by strangers. Ive paid for first dates, and have had first dates payed for. I've gotten gifts and given them. All without uttering a word about repayment or making it a big deal. Most of my experiences with men and women, have been positive.