Goldworthy.

This chick is like my ex. Probably another dick in the mix. Run even do not look back, cuz so fucking much drama await you.

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Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.

This goes for anything in life.

When you want somebody to help meet a need of yours, be mindful of the kind of energy you want then to meet that need. If they perceive your request as a demand it will come out of a negative energy that you'll both end up paying for later on. If it's coming out of a gift energy then both of you will be meeting each other's needs in a healthy life enriching way.


Op was playing a game of punitive God by trying to shame her for not following through on sex, it's to no wonder she didn't want to 'perform' out of that energy. Now both their needs aren't being met, and she has an enemy image of him (she doesn't feel safe) - the two of them are both paying for it now.

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If something's not fun, it's not worth doing

We haven't talked since. She's probably calmed down and is waiting for me to initiate contact(something I did in the past), but I just can't bring myself to do It this time. It's sad how people can suddenly change, give you the cold shoulder and treat you as the worst person in the world, when you were just there trying to fix things.

Or maybe she's moved on realizing the relationship isn't a good fit for her. Perhaps you should do the same.

n2thevoid, I saw this post of yours on that "Overseas GF" topic, and It's interesting how It applies to my current situation. I've done that quite a few times in this relationship, and she always would keep me in the dark, and would even ask me to hang on. She got me stuck in this circle, and I couldn't get out because I liked her. And that's what's I think she's doing now, once again. She hasn't officially broke up with me(I know she doesn't need to), even though I do realize how the way she treated me said it all. And that's the problem, she never finishes the job, you can see evidence for that on these two topics I created, even the first time she broke up with me, she later came asking for another chance. It's just like she still wants me around, but is thirsty for drama.

Sadly for her, the last time we talked - when I tried to "fix things" -, got me so turned off and disgusted that now I can't bring myself to even contact her again, although my feelings for her still bother me.

No one puts you in "the dark". You may find yourself in "the dark" at times, but it is ultimately your decision to remain there, or instead move forward into the light.

You have to be equally thirsty to stick around someone who is 'thirsty' for drama themselves, as you put it. This is all about taking personal accountability, and until you do so it'll be more of the same groaning and griping about this situation until you're left with even more pain in discovering that she's moved onto another.

So, since I last talked to her, I was going No Contact; things were going well for me, I wasn't feeling so bad. But last Monday, I was invited to a birthday party, and when I arrive there, to my surprise, I see her. I tried to ignore her at first, but she wouldn't stop staring at me. And at the end of the party, she came to talk to me, and I just politely answered the things she said.

She asked why I left her house that day without talking to her and how things just don't seem to work between us anymore. The rest was random talk. And no, I didn't say a word about getting back together, or fixing the problems of our relationship. I didn't try to talk her out the decision she made.

But something kind of bothered me. The way she would look and stare at me, often with a smile on her face and glowing eyes, made me feel bad. It was as If she was asking for something. I don't know.

Well, haven't talked to her since. But I've been feeling pretty good these last days, although I still think about her during the day.

Thanks for those who took their time to post here. It was really helpful.

Smiling is the most effective weapon, which works in both ways. Next time do not play the broken guy role. Do not avoid to smile her in contrast make fun with her.
Your actually on the good way.

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Carpe Diem, Dolce Vita...

Psychal power comes through Mental strenght.

It's just that I felt she wasn't so sure about her decision to end our relationship. If It is over - what I consider to be the case -, why would she stare at me all the time(when she had the company of her friends) and come to me to talk about the problems we had, when I were just there with my friends enjoying the party? Why prolong It, since she apparently doesn't want to be with me anymore? It's over, isn't It? Why, as you said, try to "re-establish connection"? Why not just move on?

She's quite a beautiful woman with a lot of friends. She receives a lot of attention from men. But I never begged to be with her. I think she just wanted validation, "a final proof" for the decision she's made - of dumping me -, but couldn't find It. I recognize that I made mistakes over the period we were together that might have turned her off and led to this situation I am in now, but I never humiliated myself trying to get her attention, even when I screwed; I didn't even chase her when she first broke up with me, and I am not doing It now. I am not on my knees asking her to get back together.

I tried talking to her prior to us breaking up, but she would've It, and I respected It. And now she willingly comes to me and "hints" that things can be ok between us again. But wait. That is, only If I make the move, only If I chase her. "See, honey, I am still here for you, but you'll have to come to me". Yeah, she's done It before. Unfortunately, she's gonna play this game alone this time. I am out.

I'm sorry man, but this is a 3 month relationship with a young girl, break ups in between, her being cold and distant alot, and her mother in between all this. My point is, its not something worth even thinking about. You cant get answers to whats in her head. Maybe she never was really crazy about you, maybe she was madly in love and has made a mistake. You wont ever know either way.All I know, is with all these complications, for the first THREE months, it wasnt working. Value yourself more next time, YOU should have ended it...IT WAS NOT WORKING. Same way you didnt know why she broke up with you months ago, you dont understand it now.

You want maturity from a younger chick who is that dependent on her mom?! How did you expect a girl like this to behave. You have unanswered questions, but truth is, relationships seldom provide closure and answers. Stop the ultimatums over sex, dont date children and value yourself.

No, I wouldn't have liked anything. I would be okay If she came only to ask how I was. But she came to talk about our relationship. She acted bitchy and ended things with me the day I did try to talk to her. In the party I was not her boyfriend anymore. There was nothing to talk about. Simple as that. And I was certain that the relationship was over, at least I saw It that way. I wasn't looking for evidence for that. There's no talking about mine and her needs when our relationship is over. By the way, I did try to talk about our needs with her before we broke up, but she wouldn't listen.
That just what I think, I never claimed It to be the truth. As I said, prior to our breaking up, I tried to talk to her, and It was like talking to a wall, she didn't want to listen. And now in the party she comes all different wanting to talk? What this change in behavior tells you? Does she need to "explicitly state" anything? Can't you see a confused girl here? As for "Her intention" in communicating with me, It seems she is uncertain about her feelings, about what she wants from this relationship. I just don't care anymore. And no, you don't know the reality, that's just a assumption you're making there. Didn't you read the part where I said she was the one who came to talk to me? I didn't want to know anything at first place. Also, If your "theory" of "feeling alone in the party" were to be correct, why would she specifically find comfort or feel better by talking to me, the guy she dumped days before? It doesn't make sense. The fact is she wanted something when she came to talk to me.
I am making "judgments and evaluations" based on her past behavior, as I also said in my post, I am not making this up. My feelings are indeed unsettled, but I never stated I wanted them to remain so.

You guys seem to have interpreted that I still want anything to do with this woman(although I do still like her) when what I wanted was just let you all know about the current events and how I was feeling. Well, sorry about that.

As sad as It is for me, I have to accept I can't fix her and just move on.

Thank you all for the input.

Hey man,

Now I use to be big into game, and you should go to my last thread, which is a fucking disaster by the way, and read it. Yours is no where near on a scale of mine, but jeezish everything I read, I related to. It was literally like I lived all through the moments you have with this girl. I never seem to be able to take my own advice, but I think this would help me. All my friends use to come to me for advice about girls, but I never could seem to take my own words. So how about you and I go through this together? I know the situation you are, you are hoping for that one answer. 'Give her space, she will come back around', 'let her miss you', I am going to be straight up honest with you, these guys on the forums know what they are talking about, but they see it everyday, and there answers are very direct because to them its another one in a shitty situation who should just leave it. They are right, but this is what I have learned, and maybe you can take this advice.

1) They will never change. It is our fault. We let it get this far. We were fucking beta. We didn't establish boundaries, and you, like me, seem like a nice guy who let her walk all over us that led to her being less excited.
2) She is fucking bending words and situations like no other. If you attack her, I swear to god, she will find a way to get out of it, and you will end up as the bad guy.
--- I had a fucking find friend tracking device on my girls phone, she lied to me about going to class once and 'stayed in her room' (which was true) but just didnt want to talk to me. After basically catching her out with her lie, even though she lied, I was the one labelled as creepy and fucked for even calling her out for not being at class.
3) You girl doesn't seem as fucked up, but I know there is a little voice deep inside you that says this girl isn't the one. Listen to it. I read in a reply it was 3 months, I dont know the length, but mine is almost two years. Fuck this bitch.
4) If there is anyway, and I mean anyway, to salvage this relationship, yours, and mine. The ONLY thing you can do, is leave her alone. Literally, leave her alone. People get dramatic here... delete her, block her, bla bla bla. Literally dont text her, put her notifications on silent, if she calls, DO NOT pick up the first few times, and let her wonder, FOR ONCE.
5) Your words have become all talk, ZERO WALK. Like me. I dont think you have done this yet, and i just did this. Tell you are done with this bull shit. Literally what I Said to my girl today, I am done being treated like this. And walk. At LEAST FUCKING GIVE IT A WEEK OR TWO to get her thinking. We can do it together.

Finally, i dont know how invested you are, but i have lost myself, you may cry, you may be deperessed, you may let it change you, but try, please try and respect yourself first before you get into a relationship with anyone. Something I am trying so hard to do right now, and trying to find out how.