I got plenty fubar stories but I'm going to give you two embarassing one. We'll go Crescendo.
#1 :" it's the french guy I've told you about "
I was living in london, living the life and taking the benefit of living in such a cosmopolitan city.
Needless to say I was dating every nato's nationality : English, swedish, norveggian, russian but more particulary AMERICANS . American ladies are my favorites ( if you want to know why feel free to read that
https://goo.gl/UCk5UH )
I was seing 3 american ladies : 1 from Boston, 1 from a town in Maryland and one from Buffalo. all lovely ladies here abroad.
One evening my mate calls me and invite me in this bar in Shoreditch because their is an american student event ... American > students > OFF WE GO GET DRUNK THERE !
I was smoking when MARYLAND came to me. " Oh hey youre there oh cool * kiss * - see you in a bit "
Then my mates introduce me some chicks that he brought outside and BUFFALLO is in this group.
I thought at first that I was all sorted and that I would DEF get laid tonight. but then the two chicks I was dating that were actually buddy - theyve talked a few times with each other. Well anyway later on I was kissing Buffalo ( or giving her CPR who knows it was probably not pretty considering the alcohol ) when I pulled out to light my ciggy MARYLAND came and went " oh you know each other ? " and BUFFALO went " it's the french guy I told you about ". at this moment life stopped and went slowmo - then it came back and I was in a middle of shit storm.
Then came BOSTON, I'm like fuck you god, like if it wasnt enough. but BOSTON waited for the two chicks to leave and she came and she smile and said " if you want to touch me tonight, keep your hands on me or on your balls, I dont do sloppy second " so not all was lost.
#2 " MOM GET OUT "
I was 17 years old and I was playing yoyo with this chick at school and though she wanted a relationship I was okay being the official Highschool douche and didnt wanted to commit so I kinda used her to experiences thing ( Well I was an ass but eh, I was 17, Im somewhat better now) - so one day at my mom's place she handcuff me to the bed and was blowing me, which was absolutely fine and she was good at that from what I remenber it was a fun time.
But my mom went sick at work and came back early, I was expecting her at 6 but she came at 3PM.
" hey did I heard a noise ? "
" Naeh keep calm and carry on "
Door open :it's mom.
So the girl freaks out grab the duvet and wrap herself in it, legit. So here I am naked with no duvet and a boner, handkuffed telling my mom to get out with hand tight and absolutely stuck here. she then left and close the door.
The longest 5sec of my life.
Bonus one : talking bout naked exposure : I was in BETTERGYM in Covent garden and I loved to go to the sauna after the sport sesh. though most of the time it was fast bastards in there once I found myself alone with a cute chick in. She started talking to me, so we chatted for a while and I offered to take her number and she accepted. I was naked with only a towel around my hips and I was passing in between her and the stone to get out to grab my phone when my towel fell. I explored options :
- Cover yourself : naH it will make it more awkard.
- Grab the towel : too risky next to the stone and It will make it awkard too cause Ill have to go doggy style to grab it
- Just take a breath and do like nothing happen : I went for that.
I went out to the locker feeeling LAAAAAAAAAAAAME and I could still hear the broad dying from laughters has the locker were just in front of the cabin. So I was like fuck it Imma try to go for it. I was putting my boxer and thought " actually fuck that " . So I went back in naked and gave her my phone. I'd love to tell I nailed the lady in the sauna on the spot but it didnt happened that way sadly.
If you want to hear some more of my stories shall I plug in some cheeky advertising :
https://thepursuitofsluttiness.com/the-stories-2/