Lets say you meet a girl and get on great......your date could not have gone better. You end up heavy petting and things get extremely steamy. You both agree to back off from full sex as you think the wait will be worth it. And you genuinely like her and think she is great girlfriend material. How do you play this the next day, whilst still keeping her intrigued? A quick tex say, the next day saying you enjoyed the night and would like another date? Or is that too keen?

I'd be wondering what was wrong with me for thinking this. If it were really a good date that she enjoyed, why do you think she'd have a problem with this? A girl that is into you is going to eat that up.

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I asked about the tex because I want to keep a woman intrigued and interested after the first date. If you screwed a date on your first night, would you not worry how many other guys she did that with? In the past I've got steamy with someone on the first date and next day they are like "Oh we got too carried away, we shouldn't have gone that far" - like they regret it and can't see me again.

This doesn't change my response. If a woman enjoyed your company, just about every positive thing that you do is going to be received positively. If it were a date that was just okay, it's better for you to say something positive rather than say nothing. If you are texting just for the sake of doing it, then you will lose intrigue and interest because you are not conveying anything except needing attention. No, I wouldn't be worried because I'm not a hypocrite when it comes to something like that. Secondly, just because you hold off on having sex with a girl on the first date doesn't mean that she hasn't done it with dozens of other guys.

I've had sex with girls and gotten the speech on multiple occasions because it was too fast or they regret it because we've just met or it was the first time hanging out. The trick is, and I've said this before, is to acknowledge it and let her know that you guys were in the moment together and that you are glad it happened.

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The wait will be worth it? Explain from your perspective how that plays out. I have an idea, but Im just curious as to "why" you think this.

And 9 times out of 10, if you have a fantastic the girl will be contacting you before mid day the next day. You wouldn't have to do much of anything.

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Bro what?

How does what you do with her have anything to do with what she's done with others? And if she's gotten hot and steamy with you on the first night, you don't think she's taken it just one step further with others? I don't get the logic here at all.

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Ok.....but how many of those that gave you the speech could not continue seeing you? Its irrelevant that they could of screwed God knows how many guys on the first date...they are with you, not them.

Well let's just say you dated for a month and you could feel yourself falling in love.....then had sex....wouldnt it be a more emotional experience as you knew them better at that point?

When I've had the talk about this face to face or on the phone, all of them continued seeing me. Just about every one of the sex within hours after the talk if it was face to face. If it was done over text, I had difficulties isolating them again, so it was hit or miss with those. My advice...reassure them face to face and a voice conversation as a second option.

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Ok....thanks for your advice. I've learnt if sex happens on the first night and I leave it too long without texing they panic and give the speech, tex me saying they can't see me again. Learn't my lesson.

If you guys really did hit it off great and she's really as awesome and fun as you describe, then she will try to seek you out. And as far as the whole 'waiting for sex thing', I would say to just continue hanging out with her and doing more fun interesting things.
Don't rely just on texting to keep the momentum going, spend more time together in person and create more opportunities for it to feel like it's the "right" time.

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The best sex comes from intense passion, not emotion. Passion tends to manifest itself best when things get hot and steamy in the moment, not 30 days later.

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Good point!

OP...who brought up waiting for sex, you or her?

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Didnt happen.....the post is all hypothetical.