Hey guys,

I'm a lesbian in my twenties. I was dating this girl for about a few months. It was quite intense. The girl was constantly messaging me, the time we had was amazing. Although she had told me she still has feelings for her boyfriend and still communicated with him. But didn't want to be with him.

She broke up with me a little over a month ago. Her reasons were that she just wasn't feeling it anymore and still had to fix herself due to the feelings she still has for her ex.

I didn't talk to her for a week but then we started messaging each other again. Yes. I did the mistake of trying to make her reconsider what we had, but she didn't want to. We didn't talk for another week until she messages me again and tells me how sorry she is for hurting me. We kept on talking and we got almost sexual and I told her lets hang out, and she says we just can't, she would feel too guilty. So Then she starts snapchatting me a week later everyday, random stuff. I respond politely but hours later distantly. She starts liking all my posts on facebook.

I sent her snapchats looking sexy and she says how she can't take it how hot I look and compliments me. She initiates these snapchats and sends me lots. I haven't heard from her in two days and haven't initiated anything.


I don't want to ask her to see each other for her to say no we can't like last time etc.. Bit what should I do?

Hm in a situation like this...what I would do is leave that girl alone for a minute and start talking to other girls. Usually that makes everything feel better.

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Guess who she'll talk to when she's feeling lonely because her ex ignores her?

She's using you for the attention, which is always the case when a woman constantly initiates and yet never meets up.

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I'm sure everyone her would have an opinion on these. LOL

They only start missing you, when they fail at replacing you. Move on girl.

Sometimes you just gotta give yourself your own pep talk; "Hello you bad-ass bitch, you amazing human being, don't worry about her! Your doing great! Keep going!"

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My advice is the next time she sends you a couple of snaps in a row don't respond. Just text her back something to the effects of "Hey. I'm not really looking for a snap relationship. If you're around and want to grab drinks that'll be fun. Otherwise I'll see you around."

Let's her know directly you're interested in dating and not the BS. If she says no to the date or ignores it move on to a better girl. She's not worth it. I've had to do that with too many girls sadly.

Thanks guys. I almost never initiate and she sends me random snaps. And randomly tells me how beautiful I look. I don't answer her right away and I don't pursue her in any way. The most I'll do is send her a wink. I'm feeling a lot better and I'm thinking to ask her if she wants us to see each other since the last time I asked her was almost a month ago but I don't want her to say no that's why I'm avoiding asking her. I'm looking at other girls and I am feeling happy as a feeling that I don't need her. It's just confusing as to why she snaps me like this yet doesn't want to date anymore.

Get some wine, tell her you need her help to paint the bathroom. Leave some top buttons undone. Let the magic happen, if that's what you want.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

this has answered one of my recent posts beautifully

i also love this

You were a rebound.

She's not over the ex and is just using you for emotional support as she heals. If thats good enough for you deal with her, if you want more, go find someone else. You'll only be supporting her enough until she gets over her ex, or gets backs with him.

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Thanks guys for your responses.

Update: she's been snapping me everyday since then. Complimenting me and talking about all sorts of things. She started asking me if I was seeing someone new. I am talking to this one girl and I just responded very vaguely to her saying "sort of but not really" not going into detail. She has been initiating every single one or the conversations. I'm thinking of soon of telling her "let's grab a beer" or something and see what she responds.

I don't chase her, have never said I missed her, or wanted to see her I and she's almost been chasing compliments from me. I compliment her just sometimes.


What do you guys advise? The same thing as before, or should I just wait for her to ask me to meet up.

Thanks

A friend you talk to every day and have no intimacy with is a friend.
A friend you talk to every day and have intimacy with is a lover.

So yes, ask her out. You're both women and I know neither of you is particularly keen on taking action, but you need to stop investing your time without investment in return.

So get a beer. If she accepts, perfect, take it from there. If she declines, stop wasting your time talking to her at all.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Thanks for the reply.

Update: so she sends me 4 snapchats in a row so I respond hours later and I ask her for a beer. This is the convo:

Her: oh Friday I can't I have work
Her: I also think it's too soon for us to just chill
Me: ok well whenever it'll work for u let me know
Her: don't you think it's dangerous for us to meet up
Me: no I think it's fine
Her: what are your intentions
Me: laugh and catch up
Her: catch up? But we never stopped talking
Me: in real life it's more fun
Her: I see
Her: but I don't have much time for that nowadays
Me: okay

So she kept sending me random snaps after that and I sort of just went to bed.

I'll be honest I'm sort of pissed. She initiates almost everyday but yet gives me.this bs of how we can't meet up. I feel sort of lead on but I feel also its unfair from her. She talks and talks to me but noo we can't hang out for a simple coffee. Fuck her. She didn't talk to me.today but I felt like asking her straight up why she keeps initiating these pointless conversations. I feel hurt I know it's partly my fault for having not said anything and went along with her talking with me. You guys were right.

For future reference be more clear in your intentions.

You're not increasing your chances of getting her on a date simply because you're masking it as a "laugh and catch up". In fact you're hurting your chances of something happening IF she decides to accept, because you framed it as a platonic meetup, which is not what you had in mind.

Her: oh Friday I can't I have work
Her: I also think it's too soon for us to just chill
Me: Wanna add netflix to it?
Her: don't you think it's dangerous for us to meet up
Me: very

I would've handled it like that. You two have history. You both knew what was up. Anything less is you wasting your time trying to "convince" her.

Like I said before, she was in it for the attention. Stop giving it to her. Entirely.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

She the next day she sent me a snap around 2 am saying she's home late after a long day with a wink. I didn't respond. Although the reason why I framed it as platonic is because she would have automatically have Said no if I would have started to be sexual with her.

At this point I really have nothing to lose. I can still send her a text responding something along the lines of. "Come over and let me release your tension after a long day "

Or any other text you suggest?