I've always lived a very isolated lifestyle and it's been having a very negative effect on pretty much everything in my life. It took me over 150 interviews to land a job because i was mostly told of due to my personality. I'm stiff, not very talkative, garbage at initialising conversations and all because i used to live an isolated life so i really lack empathy and information about the world in general.

It became evident to me last night when i took along my co-worker to a night out with my friends. He lacks confidence and is normally shy but once he felt comfortable enough he legitimately just destroyed everyone with the way he could hold conversations and the information he knew. It was insane. He knew everything about anything.

I'm initially very good at meeting people because i have ways of getting a conversation going by asking personal questions and using that information to talk but i can never really get into a topic like my co-worker does. If someone talks about holiday, he'd know everything about it while i'd be limited to saying it's a beautiful place because i know jackshit about it.

What are good ways to expand your knowledge? I've always bumped into this problem and started living an isolated life again because people would start disliking me for being so stiff and uninteresting.

Man I feel you...back in my day I used to be negative and isolated...actually I still kind of am..I would consider myself a workaholic, what I would do is start reading books that are uplifting and have a positive message. Try and make new friends to and expand your circle of influence..

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Yeah it's a real huge pain in the ass. I've decided to change things around a bit to work on myself in the meanwhile and take baby steps towards improving socially. I tend to stay home most of my time during the week and rather then doing nothing, i'll just read up some books and forums to improve my social skills.

I've noticed that i shut myself down from people a lot because i've always had issues being myself when i was younger. I block people off rather then get engaged and i never express my weakness either. I also don't pick up hints, messages or communication because i'm too much into myself.

Do you have social anxiety?

I had really bad social anxiety for majority of my life, and as a result..i lacked alot of life experiences and social status growing up. Nothing threw this in my face more than when i started doing cold approach pickup. I suffered alot of rejections and embarrassment. I had more of that before i even got into pickup, because as a AFC i had 0 game, and low self-asteem. Sure i got lucky every once in a while, but that's the thing..it was by luck, and i didn't know how to consistently replicate those results. As an AFC (Average Frustrated Chump) i learned alot of what not to do, but not enough of what to do. At least now, i have a process that i have everytime i go out (daygame or nightgame), and a clear direction that i want to go in, in my interactions with any girl, anywhere anytime. Pickup can help you overcome social phobia if you have it. Because it is exposure therapy, just with women involved. Also you will become interesting by default, because you will be put in all kinds of different, exotic, and interesting situations during your pickup journey.

Btw..i still have social anxiety, i just know how to manage it way better now.


-G

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Don't confuse a guy who talks a lot with a guy everyone respects.

I have a friend who is the same way. Talks to everyone, makes jokes, entertains. When we hang out, I let him do all of this. I come off as quiet and introverted. But this guy will always talk too much, effectively hanging himself out to dry with girls.

Eventually I'll go home with the top girls we're with, and he'll have "text-ships" that kind of just fizzle out.

Improve how you look. Hit the gym. Definitely read way, way more literature. Think of Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry, how he doesn't say much, but keeps fit and focused on his goals in life. The girls just knock on his door. This is how it can actually be in real life.

Be comfortable with how you are. If you are naturally quiet, use it to your advantage. Women love it when men don't talk, as long as you are fit and have a brain (reading).

The strongest, hottest alpha ice queens DO NOT WANT the "life of the party" or guys who are desperate to be part of the frat. They like firm, assertive lone wolf's. Acting like the life of the party is acting like a woman. It will work if you're famous, but you'll come off as an eager-to-please beta if not.

But I will reiterate that you *must* be physically fit and attractive with a brain (wit, knowledge) for this plan of action to work. Women love nice arms, and it separates you from 95% of guys. The more fit you are, the more intelligent, the more successful, the less you have to talk early on.

You can still be socially anxious, and just have women come to you.

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There's a difference between being naturally quiet and being forcefully quiet. OP doesn't feel uncomfortable talking, he feels uncomfortable not being able to talk due to his lack of knowledge about certain topics.
This is bullshit. You can't generalize shit like that. One woman may like the lone wolf while the other may not even acknowledge his existence in favor of attention holder. And the 3rd may like the guy who's just in between. Doesn't have to be black and white.

And no, you do not have to be famous, lol.

Also, why are you even associating being outspoken and socially open to desperation? it has nothing to do with it.

That being said, OP, are you certain lack of knowledge is the problem or lack of confidence? You can involve yourself in conversation by stating interest in the topic. Instead of "yeah that's a beautiful place" you could've simply asked details about the place itself. We're human, we learn and thrive in social interaction. You can't be a walking encyclopedia and there's nothing wrong with not knowing about a certain topic.

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I used to have a lot of issues with social phobia aswell but it has improved dramatically since i work (I have a job where i have to talk 24/7 so there's no escape).
My biggest problem is because i spent so much of the past few years isolated within my head that i have developed habits that are extremely bad. Things like picking up information or really going deeper into a conversation because i used to be uninterested is sort of the bigger causes that have left me at this level.

Once i started working i did change a lot as i mentioned before, i also adjusted my diet to include fruit, vegetables and water and it's been giving me an explosive amount of energy which has helped me getting energy which also pushes me into a more likable direction because i can listen and have good, strong, to the point conversations without really using energy (like i used to when i was jobless)

I had a fantastic day today though, we have a really hot blonde on our appartment that is in a relationship with a famous football player and the conversation went so well she kept opening doors for me and constantly smiling when talking giving me very strong answers.

This weekend i did mess up a ton by being consistent about my lifestyle, only slept for 5 hours, had to take strong meds for my flue and didn't eat much healthy. I immediatly noticed the difference in nutritions and it shut me down from gaining the energy i needed to socialize pretty much blocking me off completely.

Had i had the same energy as today, i'd probably had a much better weekend.

[quote="GFRESH2DEF"]Do you have social anxiety?

Double post.

You are absolutely correct about the talkative part, however, this guy was an absolute beast. He was always to the point and very correct about his information, he just knew so much that you just couldn't hate him. he did have moments where he slightly crossed the ''talkative'' rule, but it was quickly overshadowed by his personality. Only issue this guy has is that he's still not confident enough to escalate. He never escalates physically and just sticks to talking and eventually becomes everyone's best friend. If he'd be able to mix in that aspect with his personality in full confidence, i'd assure you that he'd beat a lot of pua's.

I'm slowly working towards a nicer body, i had a friend that invited me over for muay-thai lessons which i'll probably be partaking in very soon. I'm a very skinny guy, but girls have always complimented me for my facial structure/eyes so i guess that's what keeps me in for now.

I'm also studying a couple of threads on reddit/socialskills and found a few very good topics about how to communicate. I applied these techniques today and it has given me some much needed effect.

I sort of think it's a bit of both. When i'm at work i'm at my best. I have no issues talking to my uppers or colleagues, in contrary, i always seem to be really good at those type of conversations even to the point that my supervisor started including me in a very positive way.

My issue is consistency outside of my workfield. It's only natural that i'm better at work since i spend a lot of hours there, but outside of work my game is much weaker. It does depend a lot on the energy i feel that day and if i'm in a top notch state (good night sleep, healthy food) i'm capable of doing really well.

I think i'm just expecting too much, it's only been recent that things have changed a lot for me and i do believe that over time i'll be able to improve. I'm just taking it too heart too much because it's always been tough for me.

I'm really grateful for my job however, it puts me into a social position for 8.5 straight each day which has helped me tremendously. That combined with some great videos from Julian Treasure have pushed me out of my comfort zone.

when i was younger, i'd always seek validation, go out for a few months and feel depressed that i sucked nuts at socialising which kept me locked away again. I swore an oath when i got accepted into my new job that i'd be myself a 100% and get invested in people rather then have them come to me only to be given uninteresting conversations. Having this attitude has gotten me a ton of friends and it really did push my confidence to actually show weakness (things i never could before) and even neg people (also something i could never do).

No, but I was offering specific, actionable advice while trying not to write an encyclopedia.

The "talkers" are most of the time the insecure, desperate types. Language is a great costume.

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It's easy to talk to ugly co-workers.


Well yeah, that's why this forum exists.


Once you fuck enough hot women, it will all go away. Familiarity breeds comfort.

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Generalizations are not specific. Next time write an encyclopedia rather than giving the OP incomplete - and therefore invalid advice. The point is to help him, isn't it?
Sure some of them are, but it's definitely not "most of the time". People tend to align with their condition for the most part.
That being the case most talkers are extroverts and most insecure types are introverts. For obvious reasons. And yes, exceptions exist. Which is why biased generalization is incorrect.

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Simple. Go out more. Join activities and go to them. Take trips.