I've heard that if you pay for a girls meal and drinks right away, they love it, but view you as either 'conquered' or a tool.

For many reasons, I'm inclined to have us each pay our separate way.

What are your thoughts on this subject?

Who should pay?
Does it matter?
How much does it matter?
If you don't pay their way, is that alluring to them or does it repel them?

Thanks guys!

Imo the person who made the invite should pay

I pay for the first date. But I make sure I damn want to do it. I make sure the first date is cheap. If she wants dinner, I'll offer to cook for her in my houses this way, we can either cook together or shoot the shit the while we wait for the food to be made.


First dates, I always pay. I just make sure I don't pay for movies or dinners on the first date.

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After you have gotten a girl to comply to your compliance tests (both verbal and nonverbal) three times in a row, spend your money to isolate her. Nothing excessive, extravagant or fancy. The key is to make girls feel that they have earned your attention so you won't be classified into guys that they can manipulate. Instead, they will see you as a guy who will only spend his time and money on girls who have something more to offer other than their beauty or pussy.

If you spent too much (beyond what the girl is used to), she will feel that you are trying to impress her. Don't do this. She will play hard to get. Reserve the special SPAM after she did something really special for you. You're basically doomed if you're used to eating out in good restaurants and drinking good liquor while she's poor and isn't used to those. Thus, know your sarging demographic well and spend accordingly to what those girls are used to.

Some compliance tests are:

1. She tries her best to impress you.

2. She makes an extra effort to dress well and look good for you.

3. She calls you or texts you first especially when those calls cost money and she isn't earning much.

Here are the basic DON'TS:

1. Do NOT date girls who always ask for favors but will not reciprocate if you ask them for a favor.

2. Do NOT date girls who play hard to get.

3. Do NOT spend your time and money on girls who don't deserve it.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

I usually get the whatever we do first and she gets drinks after, or next time.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

You guys are awesome, thanks for all the advice it's all very useful and I'm excited to apply it.

First date - just pay...

This

Wow, you're so far in your own head. How do you get through the day I wonder.

The OP has five questions on this thread; all of which I have answered. If you do not like any of my answers, provide your reasons why.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

A girl is only going to see you as a "tool" if you possess a weak as frame that they can impress upon with their emotions. You can do anything you want so long as its done from the proper frame and mental position. Its not what you do its how you do it.

I don't really do dates anymore, but when I did, sometimes I'd pay sometimes I wouldn't. It would all depend on the girls attitude. I'll cover my boys food sometimes, and I enjoy looking out for the people bringing value into my life. And they do the same.

So, its not a matter of paying or not paying.. If a girl is going to think you're weak, beta, or a tool, she's going to think that whether you pay or not. She doesn't get to determine what you are. If you allow that.. she's think you're a tool.

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Thank you for replying Eddie, I agree very much and found this very useful. I'm extremely generous when I believe someone brings value into my life, but before then, I see no reason give of myself if it won't be returned in some way, because that's my standard for friends and lovers.

Would you mind elaborating on the 'weak frame' a little bit. I think I know what you're talking about but would like some clarification.

Someone with a weak frame is someone who has little confidence in who his is. Someone easily shaken. Someone who tiptoes. Someone reactive.
"Playing it safe" is a great testament to a weak frame.

In essence, having a weak frame is a result of being more invested in what other people think of yourself than in what you think of yourself.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Uhhh how about you avoid the situation and don't go out to dinner?

Dinner dates are awkward anyways. If it's just a drink, buy the fucking drink. It's not a big deal about it. If you're sitting there freaking out, wondering if she thinks you're "beta" because you bought her a drink, I promise you, it's not because you bought her a drink. It's because you're a weirdo who over analyzes shit.

Relax.

Well said, thank you.