Quick background: girl I was seeing last year and went on holiday with. I said we should stop seeing each other because I don't want to go and do the same things she does (always wanting to go do some party/event/sights - I'm boring and would rather just fuck her). Got in contact with her recently, we met and fucked. She asked me to fuck her again soon.

Anyway, I was sick and couldn't see her. She messages me to say she a flight booked to go half way across the world but her friend cancelled. Do I want to go with her? I let some fucking women at work talk me into accepting, thinking of all the sex we could have. But, apart from the sex, I'm not interested in going... It's a 14 hour flight and we'd be staying 4-5 days in an urban area (I would prefer longer for the flight time and in a different location).

So I initially said yes, even booked a flight. Over 4 days we've been talking about it but I've been having to convince myself I want to go all along. Tonight I decided I really don't want to go and so I told her that. She was surprisingly ok with it, saying we can go somewhere nearer if I want but I said I really don't feel like going anywhere right now... (don't want to be pressured/rushed into another holiday I don't want) and she was fine over the messages but I'm sure she's disappointed.

I never agreed to this holiday but felt pressured into it which is why I feel somewhat ok doing what I did... but I do feel guilty leading her on and she was very excited for the holiday.

Am I a D-bag?


edit: I'll just say I might not be against a holiday if we'd both agreed it but I feel like I haven't even had time to think about whether I want a holiday or not. I don't like the pressure of it and feeling like I'm obligated to go

Out of curiosity what did the women at your work say.


I would make sure you would want to go next time. I'm sure she was dissapointed since it was a vacation and she was all ready to go. I don't know what you are trying to achieve her, she clearly still likes the shit out of you. She even suggested another area just to spend alone time with you. Some girls are pretty dumb, even if you tell them point blank, I don't really wanna be with you, they will still try to make you see the light. Some girls get it and understand.


What did your girl say after you told her you don't want to be with her ?

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In a funk? Read this

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Nobody but you is responsible for the way feel, and the decisions you make.

So this is about keep one's self accountable. If she's not your cup of tea, then don't hangout with her no reason to try and con yourself into doing so that's dishonouring yourself.

You're a dick.

But its life.. You'll feel better dealing with a guilt than you would by spending 4-5 days somewhere you don't want to be with someone you don't want to be there with.

I do my best to stick to my word though. If I said it, I'd probably go and just figure out a way to enjoy myself without her most days. But then again, I wouldn't of agreed to go anywhere if I wasn't 100% sure.

Emotions go up and down man.. You may even regret not going when its all said and done. You have to do your best to look at things from a level head. Or when thinking about a decision considering " what type of mood were you in when you made the decision".. Were you in a clear headed mood when you said yes, were you just horny.. and are you in a sad/depressed mood now that you're saying no. When going back and forth on a decision I always look at the decision I made when I was the most leveled emotionally .

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