Well you can't NOT think that way anymore than my telling you right now not to think of a pink elephant standing on a white beach ball.

What you're using now is rationalizations to not pedestalizing which can be equally self-defeating.

Rather, recognize and be mindful that a lot of the women you've been attracted to (in all likelihood) were less attractive to you once you 'got them', or started to get to know them better and saw their humanness. She doesn't want you to glorify her, and by doing so you're acting like the majority of other guys she's met. Just treat her like a normal person, a close friend and catch yourself when you're putting all these evaluations and labels on her ("she's hot", "she's needy", "she's the sorority house leader").

No I mean how is she teasing you?

You're right. So right in fact that i texted another girl i talked to and invited her for drinks sometime this week. Hopefully she texts back but if not I'll just chat someone else up.

If i acknowledge that it's an issue of mine, having multiple avenues will keep my mind right.

And nah, my story is that I always settled for the girls that basically threw themselves at me and shied away from the "perfect" girls that I was talking to because I had/have low self esteem. Then end up getting hurt in the end.

Example: Talked to a few girls, one girl was super needy and into me so i started dating/fucking her. Better quality, less messed up girls took an interest in me because in someway i wasn't emotionally needy, but i turned them away because i was afraid of ruing what i had with the needy girl. A year of bullshit later, i get dumped. And here I am lol

Staying with a needy girl out of complacency says more about you than the girl. That may be a helpful starting point for you.

Hanging on me. Lots of flirtatious kino. plays with my bracelets, grazes her finger nails on my arm casually. CONSTANT eye contact. Allows my hand to basically be within inches of her crotch and no resistance at all.

She just won't let me kiss her

Last night she literally fed me two bites of her food off her fork even after i refused and teased her about it.

Without a doubt man. I actually sucked it up (arrogance is the greatest mask of insecurity) and started going to therapy to figure out why i have this pattern. Why i get so needy around perceived "high value" women, get upset when they reject me, and settle for women who were seriously not helping with my mental health.

I've learned a lot so far and I'm using PU to at the very least, be okay with being rejected.

I only posted this thread because if this were outright rejection, I'd take my medicine so to speak. But this is a bit more confusing lol

Sounds like patterns of co-dependency to me, and if I had a dime for each time I've said this I'd have more than $10 from this board alone.

Update:

So I just rescheduled tonight because I remembered I have to be at work super early to get ahead of something and now she's upset/wants to go out tomorrow night instead. Making me promise. If i get stone walled again this girl will definitely be int he the cock tease hall of fame

Not really teasing. All of this sounds like friendly stuff. Have you done anything overt? Is this a friend or a girl you made your intentions clear with?

I do have co-dependency issues. A lot of it stemmed from the fact that my parents usually left me out to dry on numerous occasions growing up. I was in a four year relationship from highschool until college with a girl that gained 40lbs and was desperate for attention, depressed, and at one point drug addicted.

I stuck with her because I was afraid of being alone, and because she was bi, went to college at a super liberal college in NYC, and routinely hooked up with her floormates and often times i got to join in (art chicks with daddy issues were made fro threesomes). Then it became too much and i cheated on her a couple times. I never broke up with her because i was afraid of being alone but i also wasn't attracted to her anymore and slept with other women. It, sadly, was probably the only time in my life where i was constantly "pulling" because i had a built in abundance mindset. Once it ended though, it's basically been

dry spell

terrible relationship

dry spell

terrible relationship

over and over again until this last one really got to me mentally. So I've decided i want to change

I met her through a friend and we were working on some school work and i just kind of "insta-dated" and asked her out for some drinks last night. She obliged and i spent last night getting to know each other and getting as much touching in as possible. Hell if going for a kiss isn't a clear "hey i think you're hot" then idk what else to do.

Ok. What I'm getting at is, a girl refusing to kiss you is not some major tease move. Girls are suprisingly comfortable with touching, even guy friends. Nothing you did so far, besides going for the kiss, sounds explicitly romantic, and its not teasing as she didnt go for the kiss. You're describing this like it was some great example of teasing, when its just a girl who didnt kiss you. She could like you, but just not want to kiss you so soon. Or, she could see your touching as friendly touching, and just want to chill as a friend, hence bringing her roommate next time. My pt is, dont go rushing into conclusions from a girl not kissing you. A tease is like a girl who is baiting you, then resisting. This girl, let you touch her in some non sexual ways, and didnt kiss you. 2 completely different things. Thats like me inviting a chick from work to my place for drinks. She comes to my bedroom, but doesnt kiss or fuck. Is she a major tease? No. She could be. But she could very well have just seen me as a friend. Or she could like me and just not felt comfortable. When you assume she's a tease from one action, you're assuming she is not interested and just playing you.

Tell her no roommate and you want to see her alone. If she asks, tell her its a date. If she refuses, well then move on. Dont be afraid to say you're interested in seeing her alone on a date or at your place.

I cosign this

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Not exactly sure else i could have done. I pretty much followed most people's advice to a T and pushed myself. If it was a cold approach then yeah sure i probably would have commented on their style and asked them to get a drink, but this was pretty much

meet through mutual friends --> met up at another point to discuss school work --> asked her out for drinks --> attraction, comfort seduction with lots of touching, following the escalation ladder --> no kiss but wants to hang out again.

If this is the case then how the hell does social circle game work? I've fucked people with a whole hell of a lot less effort, i just had no idea what i was doing those times.

So outside of taking a sledgehammer and asking any and everyone woman i see "Hey just met you, like you, drinks? No? Okay" I'm not what else I'm doing wrong here.

this is pretty much my next move. But in the future (since that's what I'm more concerned about anyway) how was anything i described wrong or not enough? Sometimes i sit back, think of everything i did in an interaction seriously ask myself "What the fuck else would you want me to do to be more god damn obvious? Just pull my dick out and say 'yup?'"