Yes. Exactly.

Where are we getting at?:D

Edit: Ah! I understand now.

Well, since "ashamed" is the feeling and you've convinced yourself you're responsible for her feeling "heartbroken" (assuming thats how she's truly feeling) then you're setting yourself up for failure.

However she's feeling, you are only the stimulus, not the cause. You're mixing-up stimulus and cause, and the reality is most people are trained to think this way so they feel out of these thoughts.

I can give you proof that you aren't responsible for how she feels anymore than she's responsible for how you feel easily enough.

Imagine your partner went silent for a day, no text, email, no contact with you of any sort. One guy may interpret that as her having a need for space, or autonomy. Another guy may interpret that as her punishing him. The next guy may see his partner as perhaps being in some sort of trouble and check-in with her.

The point I am making is the stimulus (her silence) is the same in each of the 3 instances, yet each guy has a very different interpretation (thought), and will FEEL (and often react) out of those thoughts and feelings.

If the stimulus was the CAUSE then all 3 guys would react in exactly the same way.

Thanks alot buddy.

I'm so dumb to relationships and for first time, i want to trust in doubt.

All good and fine.

Iam not clear on what you're trying to tell me.

This is the longest "Relationship" in your portfolio?

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.