You are abused because she is the abuser. Unfortunately bad personality traits exists in females too

Hey bro i am totally in the same situation as you and i've had my fair share of girls to wear i felt like settling down. My girlfriend can be a total bitch and before i thought i would have to be sweet and do what she says to make her happy. Then i realized where was my happiness? And tbh this is one of the prettiest girls i decided to actually keep around considering i know the type of girls i like to date and she wasn't one but i made an exception. Well the problem isn't fixed and i'm starting to think it won't ever be, but either way i'm leaving for the navy now so if she wants to continue her shit she lost something good considering she doesn't go to school or work. On the plus side most of these guys are right. You are gonna need to put your foot down wit this girl. I had to do it with mine and like i said it won't ever be 100% perfect but i've gotten her to change her ways. She will occasionally say "fuck you" or "your an asshole" when i put my foot down so she can continue her shit. But don't let her. If she threatens to break up with you tell her " Fuck you, if you want to leave there is the door. Because there are a million girls out there that'll treat me better." And if she leaves then so be it. You'll be sad a few weeks maybe a couple months but someone else can take her place. I'm not the one to talk considering i haven't left her but i have told her that she can leave and i reversed it "trying to leave her." and before from me running back to her if she tried to leave it is now the other way around. I love her and i'm trying to work with it but at this point i'm learning that some people are just meant to be alone. No offense to her. But figures why she never lasted in her past relationships of what i've heard more than a couple months. Idk if you are with her still and have this problem but lay your foot down bro. I believe no one should be in charge of a relationship and that it should be 50/50. But if your giving 70 and she is giving 30% it won't be worth it. But giving it a last shot of showing your in charge might help a bit.

Scarcity brought on by insecure attachment.

NOBODY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS OR SALVATION, THE ONLY THING A RELATIONSHIP WILL PROVIDE YOU IS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO BECOME MORE CONSCIOUS.

Too many people seeking happiness outside themselves, and when their partner no longer meets their expectations they get upset and feel wronged.

A woman doesnt act like a bitch for no reason unless she suffer from some sort of organic defect, or personality disorder. Usually a person acts-out when a need or needs aren't being met.

Just another example of the blind trying to lead the blind.

What a bizarre statement you've made. Add to that if she called your bluff and actually left you'd be in shambles. Again, ultimatums never work, as its a form of punishment. Punishment operates on fear, you will never win someone's LOVE with FEAR, EVER! Its impossible at a fundamental level.

Once relationships threats start occurring thats typically the marker for the end of things to come, unless you seek some sort of an intervention such as couples counselling.

Wonder what happened to the op? Maybe he got his act together, dumped his GF and is now banging 10's on a regular basis....

Or she got a restraining order on him and he's been barred from using a computer for 6 months.

Read through this entire thread and, honestly, it is totally frustrating to see you take all of this advice and literally TRASH all of it besides "self-improvement".

Self-improvement won't do jack shit if the environment itself isn't the one changing.

You have a stereotypical toxic relationship. You are constantly criticizing each other. You are both constantly demeaning. You are depressed. You are overtly angry and she doesn't take you more than the dirt off her shoe.

You are hanging onto this relationship because you've got nothing else, if it hasn't already been severed by now. If she wasn't as hot as you've made her out to be, you would've dumped her flat out by now. But no. You're being lead straight by the cock and at her beck and call because she has a pretty face.

You sound like you enjoy it.

You're a masochist. You find all sorts of ways of justifying her abuses like "sometimes she's cute", "sometimes she makes me laugh", "sometimes she doesn't insult, berate or put me down", but you go on like a fucking dumbass—you are literally THRIVING in your own BULLSHIT.

All you want out of her is sex. I mean, that's all that's keeping you in there right? You enjoy the thrill of having her pussy dangling just out of your reach, you enjoy it when she plays hot and cold with you because it's so much easier than gaming any other girl off the face of the earth.

So you put up with it. You know it's poison, but you drink it up like a glass of water in a burning desert until everything is gone: Your self-esteem, your worth, your values and your soul until you shrivel up and kill yourself.

You convince yourself that things can be "fixed" because, I mean, her parents have actually worked out, right? And her mom is like her, right? Just venting about my problems on this forum or in a notebook will fix everything, right? I love her, right?

You obviously wouldn't listen to my advice because you've got everything figured out. You obviously wouldn't take a grain of salt to the dozens of people who have already told you the same things. You obviously will continue convincing yourself that everything is okay, that everything is normal, that she loves you, somewhere, and that you can change her, change this person who has been empirically known to be unchangeable, turn her into someone who is actually worth loving.

You already know you're being fucked over.

But you won't even listen to your own advice, would you?

People with Insecure attachment patterns are commonly mislabelled as "masochistic" by those looking from the outside in. .

I will reply to everyone soon with an update, but i must admit, i wonder if the above post is 100% spot on. If I am that, a masochist, then what do I do to change that. Nonetheless, I still get treated like dirt, and you are all wrong if you think I enjoy it.

The other day, she physically attacked me when she grabbed my phone and I tried to get it back. I have bite marks all over my back and shoulders, which are very deep and one is still bleeding. She apologized a lot. Long story short she thought I was talking to this other girl behind her back. She bit me when I tried to grab my phone back. She thought I was hiding something.

You're aren't a masocist, relax.

He continues to want something else to focus on than the simple answer: LEAVE HER. Whether you're a masocist, leave her. Whether you're the problem, leave her. Whether you're part of the problem, leave her. Personally, I'm not one for calling this kinda shit abuse, unless kids are involved. She's not threatening to kill you if you leave her. You can leave anytime. You choose to be hit and bitten and treated like shit, over being single. That's your choice. You're not a victim at this point...this girl is not making you stay with her.

People know Mc Donald's is unhealthy. I cant get mad at Mc Donald's if someone goes back repeatedly to them, eats their food and gets fat. They're making their choice, same way you are. With a chick who is hitting you and biting you, there is no scenario where you stop the "abuse" and stay together. You're not gonna improve yourself, become some alpha male dude that she will just feel this rush of manliness from you and submit. She likes guys who she can beat. A guy who hits women doesnt just start hitting one of his gfs and he was just a chill non aggressive guy with his exs...He beat all of them. Only difference is her exs had the sense to leave her. So if you want to stay with this girl, getting hit and bit comes with that. Stop her from hitting you or mistreating you..and she will leave you. Either leave her, or take the abuse and stop complaining abt it. You're responsible for where you are at this point. If you want this girl, this is the price. So pay it and stop whining about the cost.

2+ months since this post was created and you're still in the same situation. Why are you posting about it if you're not going to do anything? Do you just need a shoulder to cry on?

_________________
mpuaforum.proboards.com

Getting out of abusive relationships isn't so simple. If it came down to rationalizations the person would have walked upon first getting hit, in most instances.

Co-dependency. There are some strong addictive hooks here, I've encountered this repeatedly in working with co-dependent clients. You want to shake some sense into them but that's idealistic and neglects the fact that they're, in most cases, feeling stuck and pretty apathetic. More to add later gotta head to work.

I get its tough, but where's the point that the person being "abused" is held responsible for allowing it? Whats the line where we say this guy enjoys this? He's not thinking about leaving. He's not trying to leave and being manipulated to stay. Whats the line where we say this is the choice he's willing to pay to be with this hot girl? If someone is threatening to kill themselves or you if you leave..ok I get it. If someone is breaking down your self esteem and saying shit like you'll never have someone love you, so you're afraid to leave..ok I kinda get that. But OP is the one who sees this girl as a prize, she's not manipulating him into staying. He's the one who thinks a hot girlfriend is worth the abuse...she isnt putting that into his head.

If I like Angelina Jolie, and I get a chance to be with her, and she hits me all the time, whats the line where its my choice to do whatever it takes to be with Ang Jolie? If she says the cost of being with Ang Jolie is you need to get hit every day, is it her fault if I decide to pay that price?

You're the expert though...those are just my thoughts. I know you'll probably enlighten me in some way.