Getting back to natural game



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 1:16 pm 
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Word. How are we all doing this morning?

I was just thinking. Back in the days before my whole one-itis situation, I did not give a FUCK. I didn't think about it, and I was a natural because of it. I had better things to do than deal with girls. I never had a problem with meeting or attracting women (not that I thought about it in those terms. I guess I didn't really think about it at all.. which is why I was always successful.)

Then when my girlfriend broke up with me, I wanted to see what I did wrong... I wanted to see if I could fix things with her. So I read the game, and mystery method, and 0238983294823 other books, articles, and forum posts. Because of this, I have turned my completely fine natural game into some strange unnatural confused game. I can't talk to a woman without analyzing the situation. I can't even talk to my one-itis without analyzing it, over thinking it. It prevents me from making a true connection, and I fucking hate it. I just want to be normal again, I want to have my natural game back. I need to figure out how to get out of my own way.

There came a point quite a while ago where I realized I didn't really need this PUA stuff. I was, for all intents and purposes, a "natural". At least until the girlfriend breakup thing. Then I turned straight up AFC. But in retrospect, it was only a temporary thing.. except I fucked it up by getting into the whole PUA scene.

I need/want to unlearn everything I have learned.

Am I just being stupid and my only real problem is over-thinking, or what?? What should I do? I'm actually kind of worried that I'm unable to have a meaningful connection with women anymore. That's all I want really. All the sex in the world doesn't do anything for me if I don't have a loving bond.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 2:15 pm 
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Bro,

I know exactly how you feel, believe me.

If you go read all my posts asking questions about stuff, you'll probably think I'm a total AFC, and why should you listen to me?

Well, I'll be honest; i'm not an AFC - I KNOW what i'm meant to be doing, but with that one girl, Lioness, all logic went out the window and for all intents and purposes, yeah, the AFC tendencies crept out and took over my life.

Everything I knew I shouldn't be doing, I did, because it felt like the right thing, and it even got to the point where I told myself I should go do the opposite of what I was thinking about doing.

I wondered if all the PUA stuff was right to be following, seeing as it had apparently not helped me, but, in a truly epiphany-esque moment, I realised that actually, there is no set formula, even within the community, to follow, it's all about finding a style of game that fits with your personality.

So what am I saying? Well, I'm saying that you shouldn't give up on the community; don't feel that it doesn't work because, believe it or not, your natural game consists of a load of routines and pieces that are discussed on here and throughout many PUA communities. And actually, the reverse is true too - these routines come from naturals, like yourself.

Even naturals need to add to their knowledge now and again, even naturals need help.

And you know what, I don't know the situation with your one-itis, but something a thousand people told me, and something i'm now a great advocate of - fuck her. Not literally, (well, not yet anyway ;) ), and go (literally) fuck ten other women. Then come back see how she compares.

No matter what level you're at, we can all learn and contribute to this lifestyle, helping each other out, and man, the sooner you forget about her and move onto other girls, you'll soon regain your natural game. Don't sweat the small stuff, play it cool, play it cocky and funny.

Be the virile young man you are, and spread that seed!

Wilde


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 3:27 pm 
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Quote:


And you know what, I don't know the situation with your one-itis, but something a thousand people told me, and something i'm now a great advocate of - fuck her. Not literally, (well, not yet anyway ;) ), and go (literally) fuck ten other women. Then come back see how she compares.
Been there. Not ten, but enough to know it doesn't make me feel any better.

But anyway, this is almost beyond the whole one-itis thing. Like I said, I can't talk to any woman, one-itis or not, without analyzing the interaction. I find myself unable to just have a normal interaction, like I used to be able to. Do you know what I mean? I feel like I'm not explaining that very well... like, I'll be talking to her and I'll be more inside my head thinking about it than I am actually engaged in the conversation. And like I said, that prevents me from making a legitimate connection with someone.

I'm trying to think of what must have been going through my head in the past when I was talking to a girl... but I can't remember. all I remember is I never really gave a shit either way. Even with my one-itis before we were together, I was actually pretty much a douchebag to her. I just didn't care. I don't know how, it feels like it was a different (lower?) level of conciousness or something. I just like went to work, or worked on my cars, or my music, or hung out with my friends... and it kept me satisfied with life. Girls were just like a little added bonus to have fun with.

I guess my one-itis raised the bar for what satisfies me in life or something?


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 3:38 pm 
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Then stop viewing her as someone you want to be anything more than friends with?

If you take the pressure off yourself, just making friends with girls, then you'll soon start using some techniques without even realising it, thus portraying natural game.

Stop giving a fuck about these girls and you'll stop pressuring yourself to use good game on them. You don't use game when talking to guys do you? So stop being any different with girls.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 7:03 pm 
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I can completely identify with your situation,but what happens after a while is you begin to internalise the game, as in the game just happens to you naturally.I feel exactly as you described in your post after a bad night, but on the contrary, when I've really sarged a club to bits and done really well I feel like I just bench-pressed the world!The game has a good side, and a destructive side (ref. neil strauss), and some would argue that because us seducers know the courting process like a science we can never experience a true romantic connection but its not like that.The way I see it, gaming girls is getting people experience for all situations, not just sarging.And one day you will sarge one girl you think is special and have a great expereince with her, go out with her,and prob love her.Althought it mightn't last forever you will always have the memories. Enjoy life and enjoy people, cheer up!!!

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 4:35 am 
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Location: New York, NY
I think I know what you're saying, Clowd. Before I knew about the game, I would go out with two great guys, and we'd be (I didn't know it then) cavemen gamers, going up to girls, grabbing them by the hands (or sometimes other body parts), bringing them to the dance floor, just plain going up to a set sitting down and using (I also didn't know it at the time) direct game: "Come dance with us. We guarantee a good time." If she said no, we just looked at her like she was crazy, and proceeded to grab another girl.

We just didn't give a fuck. But you know what? Even though I've now learned all this stuff, I'm still able to not give a fuck, when I'm in that mood, that is. THAT'S where it's at, a beautiful mix of apathy and situational knowledge. Don't overanalyze a set. Use be cocky/funny, and if you make a mistake, then learn from it later.

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