Acting like implies isolated events.
When it becomes pattern, you can call it being.

Some people respond well to tough love.

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"Acting like" doesn't connote a character attribution. "Being" does not infer a pattern. Being is a trait attribution and implies that is WHO you are, which is far removed from the notion of a behavior being a pattern.

Being, in this sense, means the person is defective. ACTING separates the behaviour from the person, and implies a deficiency, even if that acting is repetitive (aka a "pattern").

You're probably right regarding semantics, however my point still stands, n2. Some people are defective in certain ways. And in my opinion the first step towards solving a problem is accepting you have one.

The difference between shaming and tough love is in intentions. I doubt Eddie's intentions towards the OP are in any way malicious.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

We all have an inner dialogue, its important, in my view, that we become aware of the things we tell ourselves. Defective thinking is far beyond semantics, as you put it, its about viewing one's self as unchangeable and everything permeates out of that. This is why u'll often see people who have been diagnosed with a mental disorder are more debilitated by the stigma associated with the label than any effects of the disorder itself, for example.

Regarding "tough love", it has nothing to do with making character attributions (e.g., "You are..."). One can give "tough love" by making a behavioural attribution "You're acting like a dick, get your head out your ass!", for example.

That's true, yet one packs a more powerful incentive/wakeup call than the other. Not everything has to be taken literally.
You're right about that, yet I didn't imply the OP is unchangeable. The entire purpose of this forum is for us to change for the better.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Agreed. And its nice to see the tide changing from PUA Alpha crap and getting laid to becoming better people. Definitely has been some movement in that direction.

Always lead the frame. Reframe her plans to meet her up at a place that is more advantageous for you. Particularly a place that has drinks like a bar (or maybe a coffee shop if you don't want to drink) where you can have 1 to 1 interaction (only you and the girl), most importantly a place with good logistics (near your house).


Taking a girl to the club for a first date is definitely a bad idea. First of all, she will probably be there with her friends who will be a distraction and will make gaming the girl harder for you. Considering that you will have to find a moment to isolate her from her friends anyway. Secondly, some of the best guys at game (naturals and/or pua's) are in night clubs. You run the risk of getting AMOGed by any of those guys. The only time that you could get away with meeting a girl at a club and possibly hooking up with her later is with a girl who is already in your social circle. You already have deep rapport and comfort with her already..so it's unlikely in that scenario that the girl who is in your social circle will leave your side to go home with some random dude..unless he has really good game of course. Lol But is still more on the unlikely side in that case, especially if you have game as well. Work on your club game on your own time..not on a date.

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LEARNING GAME IS LAME!..Right up until the point when you will eventually see a hot girl standing or sitting right in front of you. In that moment..you will wish that you had learned game!