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PostPosted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 3:11 am 
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So my LTR and good buddy of mine went to a local festival yesterday. Things were going great. Good music, sunshine & having a good time with my girl.

Then….. a few drinks later things start to go wrong. She doesn’t handle alcohol well and the only time things go wrong is when she drinks.

So we are walking between stages in a huge crowd of people and she starts to run ahead (I think she was excited by the energy), so she runs ahead and then waits for my friend and I. She does this a few times and it starts to pee me off. So this carries on for a while and I eventually can no longer take it and I say to her “What are you doing?” She looks at me quite innocently and I then say “This isn’t what I want” and I walk away. She then gets her stuff from my bag and walks ahead eventually out of sight and disappears. I then get a text saying sorry for walking off to which I reply “ I’m done, we can meet soon to discuss the details”

Having written this out above I now feel like a bit of an asshole.

Am I right here that I could have handled this situation a lot better?

I’m thinking that we will meet and I will express to her how I feel about her drinking too much and making me feel stressed about her getting lost in a huge crowd.

Strange, before I wrote this out I was sure I was in the right. Now I feel like a bit of a dick.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 3:35 am 
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You had a bitch fit.

So you kept your mouth shut and silently suffered (your fault) only to blow-up on her later.

Come on man, grow a pair, you could have dealt with it earlier like a man rather than get bent out of shape and have a blow-out.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 3:52 am 
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I agree.

Where to from here? I will apologise but feel there is probably some damage done.

She is a good girl that likes me alot.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 4:05 am 
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Told you in your last thread you do stupid stuff in this relationship. But real advice...figure out what's really driving these problems. A blow up like this doesn't come from things being happy go lucky. All these threads for the same chick...maybe she's a problem or you have some issues in relationships. Whatever the case you should reflect on that, be honest with yourself and work to fix them or move on.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 4:55 am 
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Hi Neo, yes you did. One can only do their best though!

I think the underlying issue is that I don't like it when she gets to drunk because she becomes a liability.

I like posting on the forum to get your wise advice!


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 7:52 am 
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Did you feel like she wasn't giving you enough attention? Seems to me you're the one feeling like a liability when she gets drunk.

If you're gonna post here might as well be honest with us, but with yourself foremost.

Yeah, you had a bitch fit.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 1:20 pm 
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What are you concerned would happen? It's sunny, she has a cellphone I'm assuming so if you get split up you can find her.... what was your fear with her running off? If it really was concern for her safety, you wouldnt have walked off so its not that. From your old thread, I'm guessing you were afraid she would make out with someone else as she did when you were dating. Is that it?

As RC said, be honest with yourself.

On a simple level, you shouldve just said "hey, stop running off." and thats it.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 16, 2016 12:55 am 
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No, not at all. I trust her.

Her phone was in my bag, I was concerned she would get lost in the crowd without a way to contact me.

I need to be more on top of my emotions in future and avoid the bitch fit. I should have just asked her to stop running off when it first started.

We spoke last night, She said I caught her off guard and made her feel bad about herself and dis-respected.
She said she felt afraid. I gave an authentic apology and its safe to say I feel very guilty.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 16, 2016 3:03 am 
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No, not at all. I trust her.

Her phone was in my bag, I was concerned she would get lost in the crowd without a way to contact me.

I need to be more on top of my emotions in future and avoid the bitch fit. I should have just asked her to stop running off when it first started.

We spoke last night, She said I caught her off guard and made her feel bad about herself and dis-respected.
She said she felt afraid. I gave an authentic apology and its safe to say I feel very guilty.
So a bit of catastrophizing on your part. You can't make anyone feel a certain way, if she feels bad about herself or disrespected that's a message some need isn't being met. Pay less emphasis to what's being said and instead look beneath to find the need that wasn't met in that situation.

I'm not clear on whether she felt afraid by your reaction or afraid being in the crowd so moved ahead quickly out of anxiety to escape.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 16, 2016 5:46 am 
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Thank you Gentlemen for all your advice. Appreciate it.


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