That is your guess? Ok. Thanks for offering your guess.

Sex is important to me and a deal breaker if expectations are not met but it is not everything and does not need to be remedied tonight. But it does need to be remedied within 7 days.

Lol. Why you gotta be pissy? That's a legitimate guess man.... Your posts are some crazy shit. You gotta admit that. Also, you can't have alot if those conclusions in the first post if you've slept with her. You're lying somewhere

You changed your original response to this. The flaw in this new answer is that sex IS everything 7 days from now. How good will it feel to you to know the only reason she will have sex with you is because you'll leave if she doesn't? Wouldn't you rather she crave it from you?

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I don't see it as inherently inescapably "flawed". That is your opinion. And I don't know why she would or would not have sex. I did not tell her 7 days to manipulate her, I told her as a matter of fact and what was so and to share with her who I am, because it was what I had to say. What she does with it is her business, her life, she is a grown up.

I do not make the conclusion that "....sex IS everything 7 days from now...". I do make the conclusion and I am saying that my being unsatisfied with no sex and receiving no reasonable explanation for no sex is only acceptable to me for 7 more days. And I have an awesome life and I am not letting this complaint of no sex take away from that after 7 days.

If you're not going to be with her 7 days later because you guys don't have sex then sex IS the only thing that matters now. If she decides to start having sex with you it's not because she wants to, it's because you want her to.

Even if she gives you a reason for not having sex, you can't trust it because in an honest relationship that reasoning comes out in the beginning when the subject is brought up.

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@JackZero

I posted here to get opinions. So thanks!

AND I can trust or consider anything I want. I would agree that conditions of any kind do not always, if ever, bring out the best in people. I shared that with her as well.

There is no such thing as an honest relationship, people are honest when they are honest and they lie when they lie. Honesty comes up when it comes up, and it does not come up on some schedule. Humans sometimes lie, sometimes tell the truth, humans sometimes hold back, sometimes are generous, humans sometimes hedge, sometimes commit, humans sometimes manipulate, sometimes lay their cards on the table, humans can be a million different kinds of ways and it is ever changing IMO Humans have ideals and sometimes want instant gratification. Humans are sometimes honest when they are honest.

I am making the call here because I say I am unsatisfied. It is not her issue, it is my one. If she wants to give that issue consideration and make it an issue for herself, great, I doubt that it is going to go that way. Spoke to her last night and it was more of the same.

That was a lot of philosophy that boils down to excuses. The point is that you're unsatisfied because you have a sexless relationship and no understanding of why it's that way. She doesn't respect you enough to give you a reason why. The fact that you believe that you're making the call shows how naive you are. She's making the call and is going to make you look like the asshole while doing it.

Bottom line is that your ultimatum was a weak man's move. You don't threaten to walk away, you just walk away. If she actually cares about how you feel about this, she'll follow. Now she knows your plan and can logically think her way through it without emotion. Each day she is going to be able to justify her position in the decisions that she's made so far. On the seventh day if you don't walk, she will not respect you in any way. If you do walk, the only reason you walked is because it is all about sex and you look like an asshole for it.

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A plausible observation, on your part, on it all, given what I wrote here. Thanks, I can only benefit from an outside perspective in a place like this. I have no concern about being perceived like an asshole because I am one and will always be one, it is not a revelation of any kind. I do not live to avoid being thought of as an asshole.

Ultimatums are a terrible way to deal with relationships. It opens way to destructive cycles; even if the person falls in line, so-to-speak, it sets the precedent that to get your needs met threats have to be made. This, sadly is how a lot of parents raise their children (mine included) and that anxiety carries over into adult relationships if it remains unchecked, or unchanged.

So the OP has a 7-day rule (however bizarre that looks to me, its his rule). If there's no teeth in it what's the point. I agree with you Jack, but I'm not sure if this 7-day rule fits in with any core value he has rather than being about his own fear of getting 'friend-zoned'. I gather the 7-day thing is a tool in his passive-aggressive toolkit he pulls out when he FEELS (or more appropriately, PERCEIVES) he's getting the short-end of the stick.

Bottom line if you aren't willing to walk on a core value or belief that you're unyielding over, than you're just transmitting scarcity vibes. I don't see any contradictions in your (Op) statements because I am looking beneath what you're saying and 'seeing' (as best one can do through a forum) your behavioural pattern and its quite transparent.

I'm absolutely sure that it's a defensive move. He's hoping that there is some plausible explanation for not having sex, which he'll never get, or she'll realize that she's going to lose a great guy if she doesn't give into him. OP will never admit that though.

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@ n2thevoid, JackZero

Actually, this girl and I mutually created the relationship with a THIRTY DAY TRIAL concept built in to it. The 7 day thing was just the agreed upon expiration date. It was never presented as an ultimatum out of the blue. It was an experiment we came up with after knowing each other for 11 years and neither of us were sure if it was a good idea to be a couple but we were inclined to, so we endeavoured. I am clear that ultimatums get poor results and even a thirty day trial might have been a mistaken approach but it was just what I am saying, an experiment. On day one we both agreed that if it did not work for either of us on the THIRTIETH day we would not renew. I left that info out and tried to talk around it but that was a mistake and I am adding it now because of the direction replies took based on incomplete info.

This may or may not change your point of views, but either way, there was truth and things I have to consider and face in both your replies. Thanks for your comments.

It would only change my point of view if she is just waiting for the 30 days to end.

The thing is, you are adding detail. This 30 day thing (idiotic idea) should have been something you said up front. Secondly, you should have pointed out that this wasn't an ultimatum in your last post. The whole thing stinks of her not really liking you or hiding the fact that she has a penis. Either way, it still sounds like you don't want to take a stand because you're afraid you'll lose her(or possibly him).

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@JackZero

What's up with the condescending hostile culture here? That is what is sells here as manly and strong, being insulting?

Condescending...maybe. Hostile...no.

If you have taken anything as an insult, I'll PM you my SPAM account and an hourly rate (minimum of two hours payment) and I'll word everything in a way that will protect your feelings. If you leave anything out again, don't expect a refund.

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