I don't have any definitive answers and I don't have anything worked out and I am not sure of anything. I asked a question about something I was wondering about and twice now I have retracted my use of the word "quality". It was a mistake on my part to use that term.

I think the question that both Neo and I are really getting at is: What qualities do you actively look for a woman to have to be considered suitable for a relationship?

You used the word "beautiful" along with quality in both cases of that statement. Which made me believe that you don't look at much more than the surface level. At the same time you said that your current girlfriend doesn't keep her promises, doesn't deserve Valentine's Day SPAM, and is nuts half of the time. This makes me think that your desire for women is strictly about beauty (which I wouldn't fault if that's what you actually want) and less about character.

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Am I trying to figure that out? Truthfully, I seem to have no interest in prefiguring that out. Maybe I should know but I really don't know what I want in a gf, does anybody and then follow that knowing down some specific path to that kind of person? Sounds great in theory but who actually does it that way? I at least have never operated that way.

If I had to say or was going to say something I might say I want a great experience for me and for the other where both people's concerns are met/expressed to the fullest and our being together is mutually useful in some profound way and is based on integrity, and of course, the sex is effing great. Beauty, for me, is a person who expresses their joy and completeness and vitality, it is not a thin model in the right clothes and make up or any kind of physical configuration.

As said before, the problem is most likely you. You're like the guy who says he doesnt understand why he meets fat women, when he's fat himself. If you don't know what you want, how can you expect a woman who does to be with you? If you don't have enough integrity to hold to certain values, ie accepting women that drive you nuts and dont deserve valentine's day gifts, how do you expect a woman in you life to have integrity? I don't think I could go on a 2nd date with a woman and think she didnt deserve maybe a small vday gift, because why would I date someone I feel is just doing nothing? Let alone call her my gf.

You're compromising your integrity if you are with a chick you feel is selfish or who is doing nothing to deserve a gift. And if you don't have intergrity towards yourself, how can you expect a woman to have it you? Your words on what you want are nice, but they're so vague and watery. Even if that is what you want, you should be with someone who gives you that. If you accept things below your values, then its on you for getting that. Will you be make the relationship you really want instead of settling for things you don't? If so, great. If not, then that's your business, but you're the same as the women who have no interest in accountability, integrity and rationality.

You are 100% correct. End of story. Other people often see things clearer than I can see sometimes, because I am attached and they are not. That is why I posted what I posted here. thanks for being straight and blunt neo87.