Quote:
Quote:
"Basically, when we are out at a restaurant or bar and having a fun, light-hearted time, I've noticed multiple times that she will blatantly stare for a second or two longer than a normal/casual glance at single dudes passing by or sitting near us (the same way I do when checking out HBs--although for the record, out of respect to her, I NEVER do that in front of her to not hurt her). Therefore, the fact that I see her check out guys at my very presence seems extremely disrespectful to me IMHO."
Let's deconstruct this.
You have a belief which stipulates that "a partner looking too long at anyone you deem attractive of the opposite sex is inappropriate" Not really sure what you define as "too long".
What's beneath this? A fear that u'll loose her.
Is this her issue? Unless she has a history of cheating than I'd say no, and the onus is on you to work on yourself without necessarily involving her. If she's been unfaithful in the past then there may be some credence behind your concerns.
By holding onto the belief that your partner ought not to stare at anyone any longer than an arbitrary amount of time that only you and you only know you're projecting your insecurities onto her. Put another way, just because its inappropriate behavior to you doesn't mean its inappropriate for others - but instead you're silently holding her to this unspoken standard, and likely begrudging her as a result.
You've effectively labelled her as doing something TO YOU, and I'm not sure she deserves that.
To check out men as they walk by in your presence is disrespectful. I am not the OP, but I sure as hell wouldn't be doing that to a girlfriend. If it happens all the time like he stated in his OP, it's a problem from my view, no matter how secure he is.
"Disrespectful" isn't a feeling, rather its an interpretation of what someone is doing TO you.
On that note some guys will find it "disrespectful" whereas others will shrug it off and laugh and not care at all.
To give you another example of the difference between an interpretation of what someone is doing to you versus a feeling I'll use the often used word "abandonment". One often confuses being "abandoned" as a feeling when it, much like "disrespect" what you believe someone is doing to you. The feelings themselves may be sadness, isolation etc. Again, be mindful of the words you're using and how you interpret them with other people's behavior - you may be projecting, and beyond that grossly mis-intreprtating the behaviour and react as a result.
Respect is an action from another, as is disrespect. The action is checking out/locking eyes with attractive men around her and you. Your interpretation of what is going on and your subsequent feelings about what's going on is a wholey seperate matter and what you have control over. That said, a woman checking out and locking eyes with other men in the presence of their boyfriend is most certainly a disrespectful act toward their boyfriend. The simple thing for the OP to do is what I suggested earlier on the thread. To let it go unnoticed and continue may be the cool thing to do in your mind, but I think that is submissive, weak and unmasculine. He also shouldn't be a whiny bitch about it. He should be ready to walk away too. Who needs a disrespectful woman in their life? F that.
CHAT