Online profile help please



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PostPosted: Thu Feb 04, 2016 11:33 pm 
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Alright I've created an online dating profile and I'd like some critique.

I put a bit of effort into it and am going to work on better pictures, but aside from thhat how's it looking?


http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?sgu ... 9603&api=1

P.s. yeah I didn't know the link would be that huge


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 2:46 pm 
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It's a bit cheesy, dude. That lighting the flame stuff... Just no.

The pic with the girl in it is completely unnecessary. We get it - you know girls... It's akin to posting a shirtless pic if you have a six pack... Douchey.

I'd go more humour on the profile text for sure - though the photos are what's important... You need one with some friends, smiling... You need one with a puppy (seriously). They should also be clear, well lit, and you should be smiling in them.

Limit to one selfie.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 3:47 pm 
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Just sack it up and approach IRL. Sorry I couldn't help myself.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 3:56 pm 
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I'm going to go with what Charles said on this because he already gave some sound advice. There are a couple of things I want to add and I'm sorry I don't mean to overwhelm you but hey you asked...

First I like that you have suggested date ideas, that helps a girl kind of pick what she wants to do. However, if you are looking for someone adventurous as you then you may suggest going to a hike or something more fun than lunch or coffee. Not sure how important it is to you that the girl likes those things.

Also good job on keeping things brief. We don't want to write a novel but we do want to get some key points about who you are and what you are like out there.

Pictures! Charles is right you need pictures of you doing stuff and limit to one selfie if any. You say you are this adventurous guy. Prove it. So many profiles online are fake as a hell so one of the things that needs to back up what you say is pictures. You say you like martial arts, hiking, paintball blah blah. A picture is worth a thousand words they say, make it say what you need it to say. I want pictures of you with guy friends. Shows normal healthy relationships with men. I want pictures of you doing the adventurous stuff you say that you do. The picture of the girl isn't necessarily a deal breaker but it doesn't really help, therefore I can see why Charles said to take it out. I understand you were going for a preselection DHV but sometimes it can backfire depending on the girl seeing the profile, you come across as a player. Even if the girl is family it can just be taken wrong.

Girl tend to look at pictures much before anything else. Then after deciding you are date worthy mentally from your photos then they get into the other stuff. Your hobbies, your smoking, drinking, etc. Then they weed it out from there.

One of the things that A LOT of guys do and you aren't new to by any means is just listing hobbies. From your profile what do I know about who you are? You're a ginger descent looking guy who is adventurous and has a descently written profile. But that doesn't tell me a damn thing about your character, who you are, what you are about, that just tells me what you do as hobbies. Somehow in what you write you need to work to convey what is important to you, the type of guy you are. I get you're adventurous again but there is more to you than that.

Bare with me I'm going to rewrite your profile not for you to copy and paste but to give you some ideas.

"In search of an outgoing girl"

Nothing wrong with this but it is similar to many others out there, if you can try to write something more attention grabbing. "Wanted: Outgoing, hiking, crossfit girl!" or something like that. Just be a little more specific and attention grabbing.

Do you want to grow old and alone? I know I dont.

Not bad it grabs the attention and it appeals to people who are looking for others but it can come off as a bit desperate. Maybe "I can have adventurous all by myself but having someone to share it with is better." I'm just trying to give you alternatives here to get you thinking, again use your own words as you would say it.

Let's have some fun and live life to the fullest. I'm talking about exotic dates, adventures. You don't have to be R.L Stine to write a good story with a twist.

Personally I actually like this. I might add at the end of this "Just hang out with me for a day."

I like paintball, hiking,gaming and am an enthusiast of spartan races and exercise.

So let's turn the pages together and leave behind some awesome stories. If you've got a burning soul, I'd love to help it grow.


Alright now that we are past the intro and getting someones attention and trying to get their blood pumping we are into the meat of what should help to get them know you. You are more than what you do. I don't know you so I can't write this for you but here is something I might say. EX "I know who I am in life and work hard to get what I want. I value my family, close friends, and enjoy going on adventures. You might find me playing paintball, hiking, or doing a Spartan Race. My friends would tell you that I am always on the go and enjoy being in social environments. I have never met a stranger, I always seem to make friends easily."

First Date
Let's get some tea, coffee, or whatever your favorite beverage is. Go to town, walk along the paths, talk and get some lunch.

Afterwards we can drive around and see how compatible our music interests are (NO COUNTRY). And if we strike a good vibe, we will go from there.


For a guy that is so outgoing and adventurous I'm surprised you didn't offer to take her hiking or do something like that. I think I would get rid of the whole drive around after the date thing. I know what you are saying but it could come off as a little creepy. She may think, "He wants me alone in his car after an hour at lunch?" Maybe reword a bit.

"Let's get some tea, some drinks, coffee, or go for a short hike. We can hit the town where we can walk along the paths or hit the trail, I'm equally comfortable on both. We can see how compatible our music interest are (NO COUNTRY) and go from there."

--- Anyways you are off to a not bad start I'm just trying to help you avoid like sounding too much like other common profiles on the site to help it stand out. Please again don't use my words I can't stress this enough - use your own. If you don't talk like I do or structure your sentences that way etc. Believe me girls will notice and it will backfire. Not saying you will but its happened to others.

Best of luck!

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 7:17 pm 
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Excellent criticisms, definitely will be making modifications.

I don't mean to come of douchey, but without asking you guys how would I have known? That's the reason I'm here lol.

Anyways thank you very much and I'll work on the pictures, currently all I have is shitty lighting, and the weather has been shit.

As for the profile description, I didn't realize it was that creepy, when you word it like that it makes a lot more sense lol.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 8:34 pm 
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Picture is bad, your style sucks as well. Work on that. Online stuff is 90% about your picture and 10% about messaging a lot of women.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2016 9:36 pm 
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Well I took the prof picture in just what I was wearing to work, it wasn't really done well.

Will be going out to get some decent collared shirts and expanding what I have maybe go and get some better pictures.


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