| Sup y'all.
Interesting thing happened yesteraday, just wanted to spill some thoughts on it.
Amanda had been in a negative mood pretty much all week (stress from school), and I talked to her about it yesterday.
Inside, I wanted to use influence principles to make her more positive, less likely to be stressed, just like how I influenced her to start going to the gym.
She kind of figured out that I was doing this, and she kind of freaked out.
I used some metaphor, like if you're dad was a smoker, and you knew how to get him to quit, would you do it?
And I told her, you can't just tell him to quit, cuz it wouldn't work.
If you knew how to influence him so that he would and actually could stop, then if you cared about him, you would.
And she instantly reacted negatively to the thought of me trying to change her, even if for the better, sort of "behind her back."
Then she had a breakdown, and cried, saying that she felt like a "project" or a "client" or like a "project that needed to be fixed."
Then I had to go through a whole song and dance routine to get her to feel better.
So I'm going to think about what the lesson is from this whole ordeal.
If you're influencing someone, to help them improve their lives, obviously people resist change. So you have to get them to accept that change in their brains, so make it seem like to them that it's their idea instead of yours.
That's why social proof, disqualification, challenging, authority, and environment play such big roles in this.
But a lot of people aren't open to being influenced.
Although, when Jason Capital does his influence tactics on me, I openly accept it because I know that it'll help me in the area I want to improve in, I know that it'll bring me value.
I think the issue is this.
Sure, being open about the influence tactics works if the person believes you're going to bring them value in the area they care about, but if it's in something else, then they're going to throw up a wall.
Say if JC tries to do influence on me and I can sense that it's for his gain instead of mine, I probably wouldn't be open to it.
So influencing her will probably be easier in something that she centers her self identity on, like studying and getting good grades. If I were to influence her on that, and tell her that I was doing that, she'd probably be okay with it.
If it's on anything else, she'd feel like it was for my own gain.
And she also said something interesting.
She said, "I know you take responsibility for my getting into running, but that was my decision."
Which is interesting because I know that I consciously did things to help her get back into and stay in running.
They were probably just too subtle for her to realize it, and thus she believes that the whole thing was her idea.
Things I did include:
Surround her with people into fitness (social proof / environmental manipulation)
Tell her she looked great and that I was attracted to her whenever she worked out (pleasure / emotional reward)
Tell her stuff like, "you're turning into quite the runner" (self image / commitment / consistency)
So how would I do this for helping her become less of a negative person?
Something to brainstorm about.
I'm getting pretty good at the influence stuff in the realm of dating, I'm getting a lot of positive reviews for the last video I made, which was pretty much all story, metaphor, social proof, and challenging.
It was pretty much like this...
If you want to influence someone to change a certain behavior, instead of saying, "hey, stop smoking"
You pick something they want to aspire to be great at. Say, in the realm of dating, it's that they want beautiful women. Then you just say that guys that get beautiful women, don't smoke.
And guys that don't get women, smoke.
You paint the picture of the two types of guys they could be like, and you label the behavior that you want to change to each. I find that it hits harder, and creates more of a desire to change.
Gonna use this more in all my marketing. I got a new VSL coming out soon, I'm pretty psyched about it, I kind of just want it to be the last one and to move on to new products and more promotion to grow my audience.
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CHAT