Ok so this is yesterday. I fell asleep and didn't get to post.

It was a pretty routine day...

Not sure what time I woke up but I got to the co-working space around 9:45am or so. I generally just set a timer for like 8 hours and 15 minutes whenever I go to bed. So I don't have a set wake up time. I rarely have anyone telling me I have to be somewhere at a certain time. That's one of those little things that makes a world of difference for quality of life.

Anyway, I was at the co-working spot until 4 o'clock or so. Pretty much head-down working the entire time. I was in "flow" as some creatives will call it. Wrote about 1,500 words in four hours. In the previous 10 days, I'd written about 1,200 - so yeah, I was super productive. The project I'm working on right now is probably the biggest challenge I've taken on to date in my career. If it works, it'll go gangbusters and I'll get a giant payday out of it. But the execution of it is going to be tough.

So that productivity was great.

The downside is getting into that writing zone makes me a bit anti-social. I chitchatted with one of the employees who works there and I talked a bit to another guy who introduced himself to me since I'm the new face there, but other that that I basically ignored everyone. Like I said, I'm the new guy there, so I should be introducing myself to the other regulars.

The biggest downside of that bit of anti-social writing mindset was the young girl who works there that I mentioned previously was there as well and I didn't say a word to her.

On a broader level, but to a less severe extent, this project has stressed me out a bit and that too makes me a bit anti-social and less present in my daily life. I'll need to resolve to not let that happen. I think that's a simple bit of cognitive awareness to say, literally in the moment when I feel it pushing me down into that less present mindset in other parts of my life: "OK, maybe this thing is a bit stressful. I knew it would be going it. That's the challenge I like about it. But leave that to the times I'm working on it and enjoy this moment." I think a lot of success in life is just recognizing those moments where your mind isn't working for you, and then setting it straight.

So, left there and headed to the climbing gym.

This is a new time for me. I've never been on a Friday afternoon. My go-to times have been Wednesdays and Sundays at 10am... which means it's usually pretty empty. Friday afternoon, pretty packed.

I knew I'd see some new faces there, which is cool. The social aspect of climbing is pretty sweet.

I really wanted to see this one Asian babe I've talked to twice in there. She said her usual times are MWF evenings... but she wasn't there for whatever reason. Bummer. She's sexy.

Anyway, I was climbing alongside a couple different guys at various points I was there. Introduced myself and had good little chats with them. My goal has basically been to get to know everyone at this gym on a first name basis. And then actually become "climbing buddies" who pre-arrange to go to the place together with the people who I genuinely like.

I'm doing pretty well with that but there were two dudes in there who I've talked with a lot previously... and I forgot their names today, so I avoided them completely. AHH!

The Wednesday and Sunday sessions are already regular sessions with the head trainer hottie I mentioned and another of the trainers from my other gym plus his wife. That's been a ton of fun, I've created very meaningful friendships with all of them, and we encourage and push each other, so I'd like to replicate those relationships.

Girl-wise, there was also a group of about five girls who I was climbing alongside for a while. I made a few comments here and there but none of them really opened up. They were kind of in their little group mode, so I just went on with my life. Probably could have pushed it a little bit more though.

Climbing-wise, man, I'm taking off. I completed two more "V3" problems today, both on the first attempt, and both which I had failed on in multiple previous attempts. That's great progress. I want to be climbing V5s with ease within the next few months. That'll be a real accomplishment. Anything above a V5 is getting very serious.

Came home. Made myself a bomb dinner. Then just watched TV and fell asleep. It was pouring and none of my friends were doing anything, so a quiet Friday night for me.

So to summarize... a bit of a poor day from a social standpoint. Both at the the co-working spot and the climbing gym.

But a hugely successful day at work and with making big progress with my climbing.

Tit for tat I suppose.

Other notes on random stuff:

--I've been trying to cut back on what I call "mindless" spending. That's stuff I don't need to spend money on. Probably the most flagrant example is this: in 2015, I spent something like $2,000 on Ubers. That's dumb when you consider the following: I have a car. I pay to have a garage to park it in. I also live three blocks from public transit, which also makes my rent higher. Yet, I still take so many damn Ubers. I've been getting smarter about shit like that. Yesterday was a good example. If I weren't being conscious about that, I'd just have grabbed hot bar at Whole Foods after my climb yesterday. I'm a glutton so that would have probably been like $20. Instead I made myself dinner and it was delicious.

--I think I'm in the best shape of my life right now. There have been times when I've been slightly stronger and slightly leaner, but I wasn't nearly as athletic and capable and functional as I am now. I've been killing it lately. I also haven't had any alcohol, dairy, gluten, or sugar (trace amounts are unavoidable sometimes) this year yet. That's leaning me out and making me feel great. It won't be long before I can't even say I was stronger and leaner in previous years.

That's it for now.

I been having the same issue, where I put my head down and focus on work so much that my social skills are slipping a little. They haven't completely gone to shit or anything, but not as sharp as I was when I was really focusing on that area of my life.

I think it makes sense, it's a balance thing.

Right now, my career is the weakest part of my life. Health is great, Social life is fine, but my finances are shit, so I'm focusing on the weakest link. Get that shit sorted out and up to par, and then balance everything.

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My Pick-Up Journal

It's a little different for me. It's not so much a focus or time thing as much as a gears-always-turning type of thing.

When I'm really deep into the creative process, I basically work in my head all the time, so any sort of social interaction that requires intentional effort on my part (like talking to people at the gym, for example) takes the backburner. Once I snap out of it, it's fine and I'm as charismatic and present as ever, it's just getting that pivot in mental state.

Not a good habit by any means but fortunately, it only happens when I'm in the most challenging of projects, which happens like once a year.

So, we left off on Friday...

Saturday:
--Woke up and just chilled for a while. My roommate was watching Zero Dark Thirty so I watched that.
--Then I ran some errands. I opened one girl on the escalator in the mall. She was drinking some green smoothie thing so I just asked her how it was. We chitchatted for a minute but she was not really my type (blonde girl next door) so I ended it and went on with my day.
--Hit the gym. Good workout. Had a nice convo with a girl I've recently become friends with there. She's buddies with the trainer I'm into as well, so that's a good bit of web-building
--Later in the night I did dinner and a movie with my ex. Nothing romantic about it or anything like that. She's moving soon and we're still close so we just wanted to hang. Some of my friends think that's weird. Honestly, I get it. I would have thought the same thing before her. But the way I see it now is this: I loved this girl. I cherish our memories. We weren't right for one another, but she's still an incredible human being with a heart of gold, great sense of humor, good insights and so on. She's had a tremendously positive impact on my life... so why would I NOT want to occasionally spend time with her?

Sunday:
--Woke up. Climbing gym with my usual crew. For a recap, there are three of us. Me, another guy, his wife, and the head trainer from my gym who I'm in love with and who I believe is in love with me. She was only there for a short time, but we were flirting and we split off from the other two to just climb with one another. This has gone on for a few weeks. I now sense she's waiting for me to take the lead as this was as flirty and sort of socially submissive as she's been as this thing has escalated a bit... so that's exactly what I'll do this week. I'll probably see her tomorrow.
--Chilled at home.
--Went out to watch football with my roommate at a local sports bar. He was meeting a group of friends there. Unfortunately, none of them were hot. Well, one, but she was there with some schmoe. That was sad because the last two times I went to social events and there were hotties I've never met, but who knew someone I was friends with... I ended up shoving my hog in their mouths There were a couple other random hotties in the bar, but they were all seated in closed off big groups and well... I'm not a weirdo.

And today... more of the same. I woke up, got about a half day of work in, went to the gym, and then went to go eat dinner with my parents. I was in the same anti-social mindset for the most part. I'll be making a conscious effort to be more outgoing and socially playful tomorrow.

I'll also be trying to set up some dates for later in the week. Beyond the trainer, I have about 3 or so other girls that I hope I get to do nasty things to

Other random notes:
--I've been massively cutting down on my social media time. I have FB and IG. I think both have a certain amount of utility and I'm not ready to swear them off entirely. But using them both less lately has been great. Email as well. I'd like to bring all three down even further.

--I find myself dreaming about the future a lot lately. And I don't mean the distant future, I mean like 6-12 months into the future. Surfing, traveling, being in the ocean, having unlimited time and flexibility, banging beach babes and being a shameless rake everywhere I go. To me, this is a great sign. It means I'm headed exactly where I want to go. It means my passions are alive and well. It means that reality is close to fantasy and the more and more they lines blur between the two the harder I'll work to make sure the momentum is maintained.

--I had a killer workout today. All aspects of my fitness are showing great gains lately. Aesthetics have followed, but that is probably mostly because my diet has been on point lately too. I had a dank port chop for dinner. I'm gonna try to duplicate the recipe for myself soon.

--The head's down approach to my work is paying off, despite me bitching here about it making me anti-social. I think by week's end I'll be feeling a lot more comfortable with the progress I've made. Just knowing that should help me release some of the pressure.

--As I mentioned last time, I've trying to stop dumb spending. I didn't spend a cent today, so that's cool. Over the weekend I are out a couple times and went to the movie, but nothing extravagant. I don't view that as dumb spending. I also spent about $400 on a place ticket to Scottsdale for April. But that's part of a little reunion weekend with my buddies form college. Again, not dumb as it has meaning. Traveling and making memories is a major reason why I am ridding myself of the stupid spending. Like I said, the amount of money I spent on Uber last year was close to $2k - that's a fucking week in the Caribbean.

That's all I got.

Call it a win for journaling. Just typing about being in my head too much while working on this project planted a seed in my head to be more outgoing.

--I had a couple nice long chats with the sexy girl that works at the co-working place. Definitely a flirty vibe. She told me I looked like the lead singer from some band. I'd never heard of him so she pulled out an iPad and showed me. I was like meh. She was like "No, trust me that's a big compliment." I was like "Cool. I still think I have better hair than he does " She agreed. I like where this is going. Should be a pretty smooth transition from here.

--I also introduced myself to an older lady who is a member there too. We had a cool chat about Brene Brown and accepting vulnerability being a major roadblock to effective two-way feedback in organizations of all types (start-ups, non-profits, schools, etc...). Kind of a heady convo for a first hi-how-ya-doing-I'm-Daniel type of thing, but that's what I do. Nice woman.

--Also had a long talk with the co-working community manager about indoor climbing.

--At the gym, I talked with a few people here and there. My trainer girl was there but I only got to say hi as she was with clients the entire time. There are some new babes in there too. I'll be working my way in with them too.

There were a couple other opportunities to be engage new people or re-engage people I've briefly talked with previously, but I am at both the co-working place and the gym to achieve other things, so I can't be talking to everybody. In due time, I'll know all the people, everywhere I go. One at a time is fine.

All in all, I'd call it a win simply based on it being an improvement over recent days, and I chalk that up to writing it down here last night.

WEDNESDAY 01/20/2016

I was in my new client's office all day today. I'll have to to this 1-2 times per week for the next few months. Mid-May at the latest. The days can be kinda long, today was 9:30am - 7:00pm with the commute. Necessary evil for this kind of work. It's kind of like a train. You have to push real hard at the beginning but then it takes off. After May, I'll really be cruising. Few hours a day on whatever schedule from wherever.

So yeah, nothing really happened in that regard.

On a different note, was thinking a little bit about what I wrote yesterday about the balance between socializing and getting the actual thing done I'm there to do whenever I'm at the gym, climbing, co-working, etc...

On the one hand, I have something to get done. On the other, I want to meet the people there, but I can't just talk to all of them every day. So I was thinking about a minimally viable threshold for success. I've talked about this with Unfazed a bit.

Sometimes, when you have a goal, the best way to move the stick forward is to simply set small, realistic parameters for success. So if you want to start doing pushups every day, you start at the goal of literally just doing one pushup.

This is a little bit of a different goal but I thought that the best way to approach this situation is in each place I am, the threshold for success each time I'm there is:
--1 "relationship nurturing" conversation: meaning having an intentional, lengthy conversation with someone who I know, but who I still don't know well.
--1 conversation with a new person: self-explanatory
--1 conversation with a babe I want to bone: self-explanatory again.

Just a thought, but even that may be too much time if those convos stretch to 15-30 minutes, which I have the tendency to do sometimes

Finally, I mentioned a few days ago that I thought it was time for me to make a move on the trainer babe from the gym that I've been climbing with a lot lately. So today I did. Let's call her TrainerBabe. For context, we usually climb on Wednesday mornings, but since I was working I couldn't go.

This was the text exchange.

DB: Hey, just a head's up... Gotta work today so no climbing.

TB: Laaaaame
TB: I don't even want to go. I'm so tired lol.

DB: Haha you know you're gonna want to once the time rolls around.
DB: I'd be terrible today anyway. I did farmers' carries yesterday so my grip is dunzo.

TB: Orr I could drive past it and drive straight home and nap haha

DB: I feel like Friday through Sunday we're all gonna be trapped at home.
DB: So I will get my napping in then
***Because of the impending snowstorm. Makes sense in context.

TB: That's very true! Fingers crossed lol
TB: I'm going to the store today. No climbing for me -- training until noon now. I think we're going Friday.

DB: Morning?

TB: Midday probably

DB: K. I'm in.
DB: I may also go later tonight if I finish working at a reasonable time.

TB: I won't be around tonight womp womp

***OK, so maybe she's baiting me her. Maybe she's not. It doesn't matter. What matters is I ask. I know, I know: So AFC. I should be so cool and high-value and disinterested that I could give two shits what she's doing tonight because I'll be out with my stripper ex-GF and her harem of fake-tittied porn star friends but gosh they are just so damn annoying... Well, maybe I could be a loser and play that card, but then I'd miss a golden opportunity, as we'll see. Point is: don't be a fuckass. Don't worry about silly shit like appearing low-value. If you're high-value and you suspect a girl is into you (as I do here), it's always better to display interest than to hide it. If you're worried about being low-value, guess what? You ALREADY are low-value... and instead of dancing around it, you should look in the mirror, stop lying to yourself, and actually build your life into something better. OK, rant over. ONWARD.

DB: Where you going?

TB: Got me a dinner date and mini golf lol

DB: Haha lucky guy but you should probably just hang out with me instead.
**Beginning to go for it. But I don't just open the kimono and let my shit hang out. Balance of opposites. Push. Pull.

TB: Lol I should skip my date and instead partake in a chalky evening with you at the prow?
***Expected response. After weeks of climbing together with lots of flirtation but no direct verbal interest from me, I've just thrown her a curve ball. I have two choices here: cave like a pussy and dance my way around her somewhat defensive response. Or hold the frame like I am proud of voicing my desires.

DB: Actually, kinda the opposite... Like maybe we should hang out sometime where there is no chalk or sweat involved.
DB: I'd be lying if I tried to dance around having a little bit of a crush on you
***Tactful but right on the nose. She can take it or leave it. I've made this as un-awkward as possible for her. So we can maintain our friendship if she's not into it (slim chance, but I've covered myself since we see each other so often and have mutual friends).

TB: Say whaaat. I'd be lying if I said I had a clue hahaha. Well perhaps we can do that -- but not tonight lol.
***Mission accomplished.

DB: Haha shocking confessions I'm still working anyway so yeah, some other time.
DB: I think you'd be safe to just assume more than half of all guys have a crush on you haha.
***OK, so this second text is super loaded. In a few words, I've accomplished a lot. One, I've just opened the door to basically validating her on a bunch of shit (both physical and non, basically she's sexy plus I like her for other cool reasons. Two, now I make this even less awkward by taking the frame I just established (me wanting her) and completely normalizing it by saying other guys feel it too. Three, I've made me straight up telling her I like her seem great because I've subtly said "Yeah, all these other guys like you too, but they're creeps and hide it. I'm proud of it." Four, I've implied that she's really hot, not just to me, but to most guys. Fuck, I'm awesome.

TB: It's probably safer to assume most of those guys just have an infatuation with my butt lol womp womp
***Haha. She just expanded on what I said. Yeah... all those other guys are just creepy weirdos. Her ass, btw, is perfection. So now I have a big window...

DB: Well it is perfect haha.
DB: And you're apparently some secret DNA genuis and you like challenges and trying fun stuff.
DB: Pretty killer combo I'd say.
***Translation: You're sexy and I'd rail your ass for days. But I also like you because you have a Master's degree in Genomic Biology and you climb and lift and do all sorts of stuff with your life. In other words, I've showed desire, but also validated so many other parts of her. If a girl likes you (which we now know she does), validating her is one of the most powerful ways to get her to chase you because she will want more. Then you push pull and all of a sudden you have tension and a girl that can't stop going after you.

TB: Haha yeah, I'm pretty cool.

Fluff and regular text chatting after that. Hopefully that's helpful. I think a lot of guys shy away from potentially awkward social circle or work girls. Like they'll create a terrible situation if the girl knows they're interested but doesn't reciprocate. Maybe. Or just don't be a weirdo and basically say, "Hey, no big deal, but I think you're dope. It's regular, so don't worry about it if you don't feel the same way."

SPICY.

Yeah showing interest isn't actually low-value, as tons of dudes think.

Showing interest or not showing interest, the real part that's low-value is doing either of those things HOPING that she'll like you. Really hoping, craving, placing a lot of value on whether she likes you or not.

The way you're doing it, it's kinda like, "take it or leave it."

In my journey I think, you really helped me get over this fear of "appearing low value" if I showed interest, but as I got more and more used to escalation, I realized that you can show interest right off the bat, and if it's with a "take it or leave it" vibe, it's not needy.

Yeah, just some rambling shit to add. Interesting to see some DB text game. MORE

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My Pick-Up Journal

Cool, glad you found it helpful. The appearance of value never really made sense to me. I always just figured "BE VALUE" and then it doesn't really matter how you appear to people. If they think you're low value, that's on them because they're missing something.

"Take it or leave it" is pretty spot on. I don't really care what happens after I say my piece because I've done all I could. I've put my skin in the game and to me, that's all that matters in life.

There's a certain amount of abundance to it to. Because even if she tells me to fuck off, the next girl probably won't.

I could ramble about this for days...

You're essentially saying, "This is me. This is what I want. If that's also what you want, cool. If not, that's cool too. Either way, everything is cool." For the girl, knowing that you're OK with being rejected is a big relief of pressure, and probably attractive in it's own right.

It's a position of power to be genuine. To be open and authentic actually takes a lot more strength and courage than to lie or be deceptive. This is why guys who hide their intentions, and then either get busted or make some grand display to reveal themselves get labeled as creepy. What they've done is inherently a weak move.

More important: being genuine FEELS better.

Showing who you are and being authentic about is just a nice feeling. And from a value perspective, I think hiding interest has some sort of backwards ramifications where you subconsciously tell yourself "I can't just show my desires because that's not good enough." That's fucked. YES, IT IS GOOD ENOUGH. There's no shame in wanting a girl. I don't care what any fucking media or feminist bullshit says. It's in our blood, literally. Own it. Lean into it. Enjoy it.

Here's an exercise: walk through a crowded area and just wink and smile at every pretty girl you make eye contact with. Enjoy the fact that you want to fuck her and for a split second you two shared that thought. I love that shit.

Is this a 100% surefire way to get the girl? Of course not. Some girls WILL be turned off by a direct statement of interest.

My thought has always been: good. I don't want to spend one minute getting dragged into that emotional maelstrom.

Because a girl who is turned off by direct interest probably hates herself in some way or is so emotionally immature that she only is attracted to guys who treat her poorly. Not who I want to be with. The icing on this cake is we general display affection in the ways we like to receive it. So if a girl doesn't like getting direct verbal and physical affection, she probably doesn't give it very well either. And those two things are high priorities in a girl for me.

ONWARD.

Today... it's always crazy to me how reframing a goal can instantly change it.

Just operating within the framework I set yesterday of talking to just one person instead of the looser goal of "Meeting a lot of people" immediately got me into a more social place today.

At the co-working place I actually spoke with three new people. The hottie that works there also came up to talk to me, seemed very excited to see me. I really like where this is headed. I got some logistical info about where she lives. Really close to me, actually. Which is great news. She's so fine, and so young

Same success followed me to the gym. I caught up with two guys who I only know a little bit. Had a nice long conversation with them, and then talked to another guy I'd never spoken to before, but who I always see there.

Not much on the babe front today thought, outside of the girl at the co-working. There's a new babe at the gym though who I'm pretty sure is feeling my flow. I've caught her glimpsing me a few times. She just started coming in. I'll have to make an effort.

Not much to report on account of being snowed in the last few days.

Friday morning, I woke up, went to the co-working spot and got about 3 hrs of work in. Chatted with a few folks there. Talked to the girl that worked there briefly, and then hit up the climbing gym with my two buddies around noon.

I chatted up one new hottie there, but she was literally expressionless. She talked and engaged and so on, but she was all business. Needless to say, that fizzled out quickly.

Around 2:00pm it started snowing so we bounced. That was Friday afternoon. Other than shoveling and walking a bit, I didn't do anything until today (Sunday afternoon). Watched NFL playoffs at a bar nearby, but nothing to report there.

So yeah, long, quiet weekend indoors.

Should be more or less back to normal tomorrow, although I'll probably still be limited to where I can walk as I don't think I'll be driving anywhere unless the plows get my complex sometime between now and tomorrow afternoon.

Not a whole lot of excitement today.

I made it out and about but seems most of the world was still snowed in.

Showed up to the co-working spot around 10am. My girl wasn't working today, sadface hopefully she's there tomorrow. I did hold up my goals though. Spoke to one older woman who works there for a while who I had never spoke to before, and chatted with one of the owners for a bit. Finally got his name, which is overdue since I've been there a few weeks now.

Then I went to the climbing gym. It was mostly empty. Talked to a new bro there after I asked him to spot me on something. Cool guy. Showed me a new exercise. I showed him a similar one in return. #meatheadlife

Nothing on the womenz front today. A girl who's maybe holding the #5 spot in my pipeline texted me and we had a short exchange but that was it. I have some free time later in the week but I didn't ask her if she wanted to meet up yet... holding out on some hotter prospects haha.

In general, I feel great today. Got out of the house. Was outgoing and happy. I've stepped out of that pensive headspace I was in last week for sure. My project is reaching a nice flow and I'm relaxing about it a bit more. My level of self-awareness at taking care of that kind of thing is at an all-time high. I'm really in touch with what's going on under the surface and learning to be very understanding and patient with myself. That hasn't always been the case.

Found myself daydreaming a little bit today as a result of the good headspace I've been in.

I recently read something from another entrepreneur that said he takes a short 3-day vacation every working month (working month because he also advises taking a full 3-6 months off per year). This got me thinking...

Next month, I'm tentatively going to Lake Tahoe to ski with my parents and my brother and his family.

In April, I'm taking a 4-day weekend to Arizona with all my college buddies.

In May, I move. That's going to be a bunch of time off. It's a big move.

But I have nothing planned in March. A little 3-day escape to NYC may be in order. Or perhaps Miami. Or New Orleans. Or Boston. Or Puerto Rico.

I'm gonna look into something.

A little piece of me is reluctant because I have a lot of big expenses coming up: new MacBook Pro when it comes out, new truck or SUV soon, outfitting a new apartment, wardrobe upgrades, paying my taxes, buying a few new surboards...

But then I remember that traveling and buying cool experiences is the REASON I work.

I make plenty of money and while I like to invest much of it (which is where some of my reluctance to spend it on travel comes from), I need to have a balance to act as a reward to myself for the effort I put into my work.

This snow storm really put a damper on going out this past weekend. Luckily, there is still things like Tinder or Bumble, which was fun. Found a potential fuck buddy who lives a couple blocks away from me lol. I'm liking this journal stuff. Seems like a few people are doing it here on the forum. I might start one too...

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Haha, yeah there was something on Buzzfeed or some shit about usage on the dating apps going up this past weekend. I don't use them though, so I just occupied myself with reading, doing a ton of pull-ups and other weird calisthenics, and watching movies.

Journaling is great. I can't advocate it enough. I used to keep one that was much more about banging chicks and other misadventures but this one seems to just be a place to gain mental clarity, which might be the more valuable use anyway.

Kind of a long day, but a fun one too.

Woke up.

Headed to the co-working spot. Got about a solid 4 hours of writing in, about 1200 words. I'm impressing myself. This has been a hard project, but I've done (I think) very well with it. I'm happy with what I've produced so far. A year ago this would have been too much of a challenge for me.

I left around 3:00pm. Went to Whole Foods. Went HAM on the hot bar. Unfortunately, it was a bit early for the crowd. Only one babe and she had a wedding ring on.

Then I had some time to kill. I was meeting a buddy of mine who competes in Strongman competitions at the facility where he trains at 6:00pm. So I wrote for another hour at Starbucks. One Indian babe came in. Sat at the other end of the place. I was gonna go talk to her. Got up, went to the bathroom, and when I came out... she was gone. Oh well.

Then I went to the Strongman gym. I had never been to one before. I did some 1-arm presses with the circus dumbbells. Then axle clean and press up. Then 10 yard sandbag carries. Then tire flips for reps. The last tire flips I did was 465lbs x 8. I was cooked after that. The sandbag carries were the hardest and most fun.

It was good fun. And a nice little bit of cross training to the barbell stuff and the bodyweight climbing stuff I typically do. It's a little far away so I don't know if I'll go too often but a few times a month its a good way to mix it up. And to see a buddy I don't often hang out with anymore.

That was about it for the day.

I tried to further plans with "TrainerBabe" today as well. Sometimes, you just get a curveball: I proposed something for Saturday and she was like "I'm going to a funeral." Not a whole lot to do with that other than just be an empathetic human and try again another time.

This doesn't really apply in this situation but I think empathy vs. problem solving conversation is something I didn't realize is a significant difference until last year. I used to run into this situation with my ex-gf sometimes...

She'd be upset over something. I'd listen and then try to offer guidance to help solve whatever the issue was. As a man, I think this is natural. Especially if you're really embracing a dominant, leadership position in your relationships. You want to help. You want to be the one she can rely on. You want her to see you as the solution to her woes.

And that's all well and good. But what I learned is there's a time and a place for it.

Because what would happen is she'd come to me. She'd express the problem. I'd offer guidance. And often, she'd have some sort of knee-jerk reaction to whatever I said. It really didn't matter what I said, it was just an emotional response she'd have.

It took me sometime to realize that what she really wanted was a conversation that was more like "I understand. I felt the same way this one time. And you know what, it sucked so it's OK if you feel like that now."

She just wanted someone to share in the experience. To let her know it was OK. That her feelings were valid.

Then... after she calmed down and the emotions leveled off, we were able to try to figure out a solution.

Taking this one level further, after some time I came to realize that the reason I immediately wanted to find a solution in a situation like this is because I wanted to disconnect myself from negative emotions. To try to move through them as fast as possible.

I think that's the wrong approach. Over the past year, I've forced myself to become more comfortable with negative emotions. To accept them. To sit with them. To feel them. And then figure out what to do about them. It's made my life better in tremendous ways.

I don't think the goal is to avoid the hard feelings. I think it's to experience them, learn from them, accept them, and then come out better on the other side. As Bob Marley said "Some people FEEL the rain. Others just get wet."

Eh, nothing today. Was in the client office all day.

It took about a month but I know probably 90% of the people I "work" with in the co-working space. Goal achieved.

Not a whole lot to it other than just being outgoing and getting to know people. Aside from one girl - who is actually really cute and probably in her late 20s, but who hasn't been there in about 2 weeks - I don't think anyone else that goes there is under the age of 35. Most of them seem to be in their 40s. Point is, I don't see a whole lot of social enhancement coming from knowing all these people. I just wanted to do it.

And the one super sexy girl who actually works there... I haven't seen her in about 2 weeks either. She's about college aged so I wonder if she went back to school. That would be a shame. I should have pulled the trigger and asked her out when I had the chance.

The real takeaway there is I've been a bit of a pussy with girls lately. Definitely nothing like the shameless Dirtbag I used to be. I was thinking about this today. I think it's simply a habit that eroded. I've been back in the dating game for about 10 months now, but I haven't put any serious effort into it in that time. I was focused on a lot of other stuff.

Interestingly, things come full circle. Because wanting to get more girls is one of the major drivers that got me into self-growth in the first place (and the desire for entrepreneurship, which actually budded a few months earlier). It's what led me to discover I could grow my life in so many ways.

Now, every other area of my life is basically handled... and I'm back to thinking the #1 thing that would add value to my life right now is to once again re-prioritize my sex life.

So I guess that's what I'll do.

Surveying the current situation, the only real prospects I have are the two girls from the gym. I'm hanging out with one of them on Saturday and am trying to set something up with the other one for Friday (I will then also climb with her on Sunday morning).

I've been pitter-pattering around with both of these girls though. Not taking control of the situation. Not being flirty. Just shitting the bed, basically.

Other than those two, the other girls that are sort of in orbit aren't super exciting to me, so I'd rather just go find some better prospects.

I might have found one today... at - of all places - the gym.

This girl started coming in maybe a month or two ago. I noticed her the first day. Short with a super fit body and great long brown hair. That's pretty ideal for me.

I've noticed her checking me out here and there as well. Walking close by me. Things like that.

So yesterday I was talking with one of the guy trainers (another one of the crew I climb with) and she was there and we were both like "Yep, that ass should be illegal." He's married but he talks to everyone in the gym.

Today, he was talking to her, I walked by and since he knew I thought she was sexy he called me over (legit wingman skills). Introduced me to the girl and then we all talked for a bit.

Then he left the conversation and left the two of us alone (more legit wingman skills). The entire time she was super focused on me, great body language, open subcomms, deep eye contact, etc.... so I'm fairly certain she's interested.

At one point she tells me she did some bikini competitions (where glutes are the #1 judging criteria) so I'm just like, "Yeah, you have a great ass."

That's a nice way to go straight for it, but to continue today's theme, I wasn't pleased with my game on this one.

I could have shown a little more intent. Could have played this one much more aggressively. She stuck around and kept talking and flirting after that, so the door was basically open. But like an asshole, I didn't make any hard plays.

I think this is why (and this applies to the other gym girls too):

I have this script playing in my head that I have to proceed with caution because this is a "closed environment" where I can't risk being rejected or being labeled as creepy because people know one another and we all see each other so often.

That's an incorrect, knee-jerk reaction, at least as far as my style of game is concerned.

Is it understandable to think that? Sure. But that doesn't mean it's right.

To continue the exchange Unfazed and I had about showing interest... if I would have proceeded there with something that was in the fun, playful, flirty, and "take-it-or-leave-it" mentality we discussed there's almost no risk.. and it just makes the entire dynamic much more enjoyable (even if she's not interested).

I've done this shit before, but it's just not engrained right now.

All I would have had to do here is at some point playfully say something like:

"Can I tell you something? ... I'm glad we got this chance to chit chat because I think you're really fucking cute."

Or "I'm glad we got this chance to chit chat because I stare at you all the time anyway, so I might as well talk to you from time to time too."

If this is said in that proud and confident, yet playful and "no-big-deal" kind of flirty way, it goes over well no matter what.

If she's not interested, I haven't creeped on her and it's not uncomfortable. It might even become a little running joke.

If she's got a boyfriend (which I suspect this girl might based on FB stalking), she can just say that and I can continue the playfulness and be like "Well, lucky guy... but just so yo know... I'm still gonna be staring at your ass whenever I see you in here."

And last but not least, if she's down, then I've just short-cutted about a half a dozen roundabout conversations until I find some excuse to ask her out.

In any case, it shows I'm a guy that's comfortable with his desire and in my experience, girls LOVE being around guys like that, even if they themselves are not interest nor available. They respect guys like them. They have fun with guys like that. And they either fuck guys like that or get their friends to do it. I've run my way through multiple social circles and that's the exact type of mindset that allows you to bang several girls who know each other and have them just be like it's another thing.

This is the essence of my game. I never used to wait for the moment or right timing to make something happen. I just went for it: dominant, fun, playful, sexual, and shameless. If you're attuned socially, you can basically do no wrong with this kind of sexual, forward game.

As with much of like, things work out better when you don't wait for chance to deliver something to you... but rather when you just go and fucking take it.

Well, now that I've laid down a new priority (focus on girls once again) and a manifesto (Be a Dirtball)... I think we have a good compass for where to take this journal. Time to bring back the Dirt.

I'll have to go re-read my old journal for some inspiration. I was a true master back then.

I'm pumped. Until tomorrow...

Just shaking off the rust, man. Michael Jordan doesn't jump back in and unload on everyone after baseball without warming up first. No one does.

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My Pick-Up Journal