Ex wants to hang out but tells me no sex. How to reinitiate?



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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 8:11 am 
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I'm trying to get in a FWB relationship with my ex. We ended on good terms, purely due to logistics (her moving to another state for work). A year later she's back but feelings have changed a bit. There's no connection, at least not in the same way as it used to be. I want to get into a FWB type relationship with her, which is how we originally started before we were a couple. So we hang out and have sex maybe 5 times in the past 2 months. Then she tells me she wants a break from me. Not from hanging out, but from being a couple and having sex. I tell her I'm fine with this. We still hang out and have sex maybe 2-3 more times, usually but not always initiated by me. She then tells me again she doesn't want to have sex with me.

Then one night we hang out. We go drinking then plan to go "chill" at her place. We get there and she tells me she doesn't want me to come in or continue the hangout because she knows I'm going to try to fuck her (every time we did she never resisted, some of the time she even initiated it). We get in a pretty big argument but she called me the next day to apologize, saying she's on her period and has been really emotional lately. Then we hang out one more time since. We watch movies at my place but after the argument that just took place I don't make any move on her. She cuddles with me all night then ends up sleeping over (we smoked a bit of pot so she didn't want to drive). I wanted to make a move. So badly. But I restrained myself. I didn't even press my boner against her ass like I normally would with any other girl I'm cuddling with in bed. If I did make a move, I would be proving her point behind the argument losing her trust. I feel this would cause more damage then good and even though I would probably get sex that night, it probably wouldn't happen again.

Now here's the deal. I want to have sex with her. When we have sex, we have great sex. It's always really really good sex. Like multiple orgasm sex. And she's a freak in bed. I just don't know how long I should wait before I should initiate it. How should I set up the night? I feel like if I make a move and she's not into it, it could end really really badly. What do you think?


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 9:06 am 
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She wants sex.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 9:31 am 
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She wants sex.
I know she does, which is why I haven't given up on this chick yet. But multiple times she made it very clear verbally that she doesn't want to have sex with me. When I escalate, I get the sex if she's horny. If she's not horny, she rejects me and acts upset because I told her its cool and I'm not only after sex with her. Normally that's fine with me but the last few times we've hung out she's told me that beforehand, the most recent time ended up erupting in a big fight.

What I'm asking is how to get back into a FWB relationship without always fighting the last minute "no sex" rule she always states beforehand. What can I do to have regular casual sex with this chick? I feel the choice to have sex is 100% on her right now. If she wants it, she gets it. If she doesn't, I'm at home jerking my blue balls away.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 9:43 am 
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Personally I'd cut through the bullshit and tell her we both know what the purpose of our meetings is and that she can either stop with the entitled attitude or walk away.

But that's just me, because I'd be willing to lose her.

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 9:54 am 
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Personally I'd cut through the bullshit and tell her we both know what the purpose of our meetings is and that she can either stop with the entitled attitude or walk away.

But that's just me, because I'd be willing to lose her.
I'll tell ya man, walking away seems more and more attractive every time I hang with this chick. Would you tell her that over just escalating again? I guess being straight forward is riskier but with more reward. On one hand she could get offended and at that point I walk. On the other she could be receptive and this could eliminate the LMR all together. I guess if the problem continues to persist I won't be getting any sex anyway so what else do I have to lose in being straight up...


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2016 11:54 am 
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She was your gf dude. It's not like she's someone you just met on the street. I'd be straightforward, and if she gets offended then fine, I don't want to associate myself with that kind of buzzkill anyway. Plus if the sex was good they will always come back for more.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 19, 2016 1:57 am 
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To OP

Express disinterest, throw her some NEGS and present yourself as romantically unobtainable. Perhaps even ask for her advice about other women but don't convey that you're committed to those women.

As for me, I have very little patience for this situation. So, asses her value and what you're willing to invest then proceed accordingly.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 19, 2016 2:09 am 
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R.C. is giving you solid advice.

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