Some routines involving psycho analysis like the cube for example induce intrigue and interest from the target but at some times leads to anger , rage and even more defensive behaviour . Let's say for example a girls maners shows she was hurt at some point in her life . Mentioning something like that would lead to more defensive behaviour ( it shows that what was said obviously is true ) . But my question is how can I turn it around and brake her without causing her to hate me or getting her to leave ? if there is no way of turning it around , what went wrong at some point ? ( maybe should have developped more rapport previously )

Probably the best advice I could give you is to not use those routines. But if you insist, you'll just need to make sure you're keeping it light and playful. I'm not really familiar with a lot of those routines, but I'm guessing the point of them is to build comfort. Everyone has vulnerabilities so it will be pretty hard not to stumble upon them in a deep conversation. You want to save those conversations for later. Don't use routines as a crutch, you'll go a lot further with a natural conversation, so work on that.

To answer the question though of how to turn things around if they do go awry with her getting upset, I'd say probably what i'd do is reveal a vulnerability of my own. However, it will be very easy to slip into the friendzone, but might at least buy you some time! lol

Think of people as Icebergs. What we show the world is only a small bit, whilst the main part of us is deep below the water. So a relationship is gradually climbing down from the top of the iceberg. At the stage where you'd be using comfort building routines you should sort of metaphorically be sitting on a ledge with your feet dangling in the water.


By the way, feel free to tell me i'm talking bollocks, anyone!