She called me later asking me to pick her up so she can say bye to my parents. I was very stand offish, anyways, after picking her up, she ran to my mum and cuddled her. My mum truthfully says she feels like her mum was very hard on her, didnt give her much love and this is why she is like this. Her mum is very hard on her husband too, not as hard as what I deal with but there is similarities.

Yeah because there are soooo many guys who would love to have this abusive, disrespectful, sexless relationship because of all the other things. No. Guys will date her, and dump her once she hits them, stops fucking them, or hangs up on them. She is with you because she knows she cant do better. If she could, she'd leave.

Stop trying to play Dr Phil and figure out whats wrong. Just RUN. When you leave, THEN figure out what the fuck was wrong with you.

You think she's with me because she can't do better? I disagree.

She's with you because she thinks that a partner should be a total needy wuss like her dad with the woman wearing the trousers in the relationship. Your relationship is dysfunctional and unnatural by any interpretation.

You were seeked out for your super chode like qualities and then began a long training process with you jumping through a series of compliance hoops like an obedient pup to her satisfaction.

I agree with Neo somewhat in that she's with you because she couldn't get anyone else, but in the sense she couldn't find anyone as compliant or needy as you as only one guy in ten thousand would put up with her shit.

There is of course an instant and permanent solution to all your problems with her: Dump her.

Once she's in the garbage (where she belongs) then spend 6 months learning nothing else but inner game (there's a lot of resources out there) then start again.

Her mom is the same....do you really think she just started abusing guys with you? I hate using the word bitch, but thats what your gf is....remember...you met the bitch single. So this great girl didnt have anyone trying to put up with her shit. She isnt talking about breaking up because this kinda disfunctional relationship is what she wants. You sound like the battered women who think the guy beating them is so great and popular, as if him beating you is special to your situation. No...he beats his gfs, as she beats and abuses her bf or guys dating her eventually

Also, you talk as if her running shit just started. No...you chose a school based on her. You handed your balls to her a long time ago. You can debate that shes a great girl and guys will want her, you can reminisce about the days where you werent pathetic...none of that matters. All that matters is the situation you are in now. So dump or take the abuse. If you had such great friends, then knock the shit out of you months ago for this bs.

Your mom got cheated on and stayed with your dad.
Her mom runs the household.

You were raised to make things work.
She was raised to abuse and control.

Thats all thats playing out here. Your son with her will learn to be a doormat. Your daugher with her will learn to abuse.

I also want to say fuck the people around you. Your friends failed you once they didnt smack some sense into you for moving to be closer to her. Your mom is failing you by giving you reasons she's like this instead of "fuck the bitch...leave right now."

Take a hint from the posters in this thread. They tried with you multiple times, then once they saw nothing was changing with you, they left. Likewise, at a certain pt you have to leave this cause its not going to work.

Honestly, I think if you stay with this girl...you'll get married and all that crap. She wants a doormat, and you want a hot girl who one paper is great, regardless of the cost. Win win. You can analyze her issues for years to come. You could do the right thing and text her we're done, block her and move on with your life. But youd rather stay, vent your problems, think about why is the way she is and be thankful she gives you the privilege of being your abuser.

I noticed you have conveniently ignored comments that you should dump her. Do you really want help? Again, this forum is not the place for a pity party.

What I think honestly is this isn't forum for this. You got your advice, this isn't therapy meeting, and this isn't helping.

However, I'm sure that one day you will look back at this situation, this girl and everything and will laugh at yourself.

You recognized te problem yourself in this post (which is the first step), you let her slide too much. Waaay to much. I'm sure that if you leave her you'll find better one, a person who can satisfy your needs.


Also, I think if this girl is always like that to everyone, then maybe you two just aren't compatible together. But listen to these guys here, they are not making up BS solutions and you should stop rationalizing your BEHAVIOR and ask questions like "Why do I let her do this?"

To me, it's like having food prepared on the table, on a plate, you want to EAT, you are hungry, but the food wont put itself on the spoon and drag it's way to your mouth. You have to raise your arm and do it yourself.

Cmon man... Start living the life you want already.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

Starting to work on inner game, will post updates.

Just bought, 'how to be a 3% man", and "Models, Mark Manson".

If you have any must reads, posts, threads, please put them here explaining why and Ill buy them.

Also starting to write everything down in a book.

I don't know about other posters here, but I think this is a step forward.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

You don't get confidence from books. You get confidence from your actions. Doing the hard thing ie dumping her will teach you you can survive without her... Reading some books won't do that.

Exactly.

The advice we've given (dump her, move on) is what you need to do. Not "read more books".

women already have the "power" of vagina, so you being afraid to lose her tips the power scales way too much. In all honesty you cant be afraid to lose them. I've witnessed tons of my guy friends do this only to hear about how she cheated with another guy. And phrases like "I treated her so well" "how could she do this" etc...

I read most of the posts, but didn't go till the end. I have the need to comment on this.

I remember reading about this: There was a comprehensive study with dogs in relation to how dependent and emotionally hooked they are to their masters:

Group1: Were treated lovingly with affection all the time.
Group2: Were treated badly all the time.
Group3: Were treated badly a lot of the times and affectionately or "rewarded" some of the times; but that would not last long before the next abuse.

Guess which group of dogs were most dependent! Group 3!! You are representing group 3 OP. You are reminiscing good things of the past. Some rare "good things" that you think happen in the present inbetween the storm of shit you are being hit with. The shit this girl has thrown at you started slowly and one at a time.

As Hitler said "“The best way to take control over a people and control them utterly is to take a little of their freedom at a time, to erode rights by a thousand tiny and almost imperceptible reductions. In this way, the people will not see those rights and freedoms being removed until past the point at which these changes cannot be reversed.”

The shit piled up and accumulated in a way that you can obviously see and recognize it looking on your self that you are covered in shit, but the smell is part of you as you have accepted to tolerate it.

I had been in an abusive relationship. Every time I broke up she came back, only for the same and worst to be repeated. Few years later I have much higher respect for myself and I believe I am able to stop all relations with a partner once I recognize the signs of an abusive person.

The relationship is broken beyond any possible repair. It is not easy to deal with the hugely strong feelings you developed. It is well past the borderlines of addiction.

My final word comes down to this "Man the FUCK up son". RUN for you life. RUN to improve yourself from this downward spiral. RUN for the beautiful, intelligent, emotionally stable woman you ll meet in the future who will make a good wife for you (my impression, this is what you want in the long run) that you will deserve only once you improve yourself and she will come when you start BELIEVING that you deserve the best. Good things come to those who WORK for them and Believe that they will get them.

There is no "she doesn't like sex that much"

She lost her respect for you. She doesn't like sex that much WITH YOU. You turn her off with your submissive and needy behavior. Why am I so adamant replying to you? I stayed very late reading this post and bothered to post not once but twice at 3.10am while I have to get up early tomorrow for work. It is because I see in a way my past self in you. I see my ex girlfriend in the girl. My situation emotionally was bad even though I can be quite strong. but yours seems worst.

She threw temper tantrums breaking stuff a couple of times. I pinned her down with force till she calmed down. An hour later she was apologizing and being sweet and even horny. When I was stopping contact with her, she was coming back. She then was in another relationship at a point but we occasionally talked and met. She cheated on that boyfriend with me twice when things didn't go well with him. And he did a lot for her. They broke up at some point. He left the country and stopped ALL CONTACT when she visited him at some point. Then we started fucking again for a while. Things were shit again, I found a better job and I moved to another country without hesitation.

She was still visiting me once every couple of months when she was still single and I couldn't last with her for more than 2-3 days without getting pissed off . The relationship is TOXIC. Not because of you. Because of her stubborn self righteous personality. Everything is someone's else's fault. Not hers. She got in another relationship. She manages to control and convince the new boyfriend to go for a trip with me few months back (We didn't have sex nevertheless). Couple months back she again said to her boyfriend that was visiting me but instead stayed to some other dude's place. I avoided texting her since this recent event and she is still seeking my attention by texting that I "forgot about her" Do you have any idea what these manipulative women are capable of?

My self esteem is too high to take this shit anymore from anyone or take someone like that back. I get hooked and emotional when I like a girl. That was always my problem. I gradually have improved into controlling these emotions and recognize and do what is best for me. I respect my self much more. I deserve good things in life and I get them when I take action and start Believing I deserve them. You can do it also.

You know, this girl has a lot of power over you because you want things in the relationship and she holds them back for you. The key to let that go is to dont care about the things you want. It sounds paradoxal, but if you dont care if you have sex with her or if she breaks up, she will lose her might, because she hasnt anything left to blackmail you.

Also i think you should break up because you are in a abusive relationship. Simple as that. Break up and show her your boundary. If she doesnt apply simply break up and move on, that is where your power lays. Break ups suck, but you will get through it and will be a better person on the other side. You can find a girl with the same quality's but without the abuse.

That you are looking for help on a forum about this is a indicator that it really isnt going well.

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Professional Badass.