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What do people see in Neo? Maybe I'm missing threads.
Lol. I dunno man...Maybe its because I just give advice around being happy, respecting yourself, saying what you want and handling yourself like an adult. That's 99% of the words I say here. I dont go around spitting things Ive heard in articles, books or videos and regurgitating the bs that is spewed around the community. Maybe its because I only refer to experience, not books or some other posters words. That's you. Now if you disagree with something I say in a thread, break it down, from your EXPERIENCE, not what some youtuber told you makes sense and sounds good.
To OP, thanks for the shout out. Since you know my posts, you know I give an honest take on what I read, and if I disagree with something I'll say so.
That being said, I see what you're saying but I disagree a bit.
The demographic that seeks out PUA usually consists of the socially awkward, poorly adjusted guys. They come into it insecure, they come into it without having a purpose, they come into it without having much of their lives in order. Those that do, are able to see the bs quickly, take a few things like how to escalate or how to dress and leave for the better. But most dont. And they're fed bs and false promises as you said by coaches. But how much of that is the coaches fault? These guys are selfish to start with and want quick fixes. They want to look like shit and get girls "out of their league." I agree with those things you did to get your life in order, but is a book listing those things really going to sell? Newbies dont want to hear get hobbies, make friends, fix your depression...they want the women.
One term I've always disliked in PU, is AFC. And its because the average guy, is not really frustrated. He has friends, hobbies, a decent social life...a gf he's happy with. He's not frustrated. The guys who come into PU are far from average typically. They think every other non player guy is like them, he must be frustrated, he must be trying to fuck his female friend, he must be longing for a hot ass girlfriend. These non average guys, miss out on what the average guy has, that chillness of being himself, that lack of frustation, that lack of ego. And they try to go to the player level, where their sense of worth is based on their skill with women.
The mentality today is about quick fixes. Get a beach body by working out for 10 mins every other day. Double your income in 6 months. These things are what sell. Because people want short cuts. Especially the guys who come to PUA because they're not well adjusted in the first place. Whats the real difference between Mystery and Mark Manson? There is none. Both are selling you a hack to get women quickly. Mystery says women like routines so use them. Manson says honesty is the key. Both sell you "THIS is what attracts women." Both are selling a quick fix.
One thing I've found funny is that with all the threads on pickup theory, I've never seen one on "why." And not why did you start pickup, why do you pickup women? There is ego/validation behind going out and bedding new women....nothing wrong with that, but what I'm pointing out is, that PU for many is a validation seeking exercise, even when good. And that nature of PU, is what makes it easy for many to miss working on other areas of their lives.
So yes, the community is filled with men who want to complicate things. But they come into it that way. And they demand that it be complicated. If it's not, they'll throw their money at the system thats complicated. As much as you can tell these guys to make PU a small part of your life, they dont want to fix the other shit. If they workout its for women. If they make friends, its to get women. If they hang with a chick, its to sleep with her. They dont want to address the other things in life thats lacking.
I feel like this is a disjointed response but I'll add this. You say you were selfish in the past and lost 2 great girls. How about giving? How about instead of leaving, give your straightforward advice to other men so they dont repeat your mistakes. Tell them, what you do, how hobbies make you happier, how you handle arguments in your relationship, signs of a good woman. Stop being selfish. Share and help others. Thats what I try to do. Even though guys like JD would rather I give advice from the internet, not experiences lol.