What is the source of this depression?


Because your source of happiness is the girl, you are not living in your reality.


Instead you're drawn to her reality, and you are so dependent on her that this is borderline pathetic to discuss anymore. Sorry OP.

I dont know, I find myself really upset a lot of the time and down. I play soccer at a high level but it doesn't engage me anymore, I am not always looking forward to it. She is so independent, she even tells me she would be fine without me, that it just makes me crave her attention more I guess. I am more concerned about her social life then my social life I guess. Its made me super down and depressed, and I feel like I have been this way for quite a while now.

Obviously, as I guess I have been told before, there is a deeper route to my problems than just this girl. I seek approval I guess, I dont know how to fix this. It seems like it would take months.

I was having some drinks with my friend last night and he asked me if I know that feeling when you can't spend one hour of Game of Thrones episode with your girl without having her start grinding her ass, waving her hands, blabla, basically constantly pester you for sex. I do know that feeling. It's a good problem to have.

Haha, that song, made me laugh.

We spoke via facebook, I will just show you her replies, honestly, this is what she has said:

I chose not to talk about that part of it because you were literally so far in the wrong and you just don't see it. All I said was I don't want to have sex and you blew up, like you alway do. You tried 10 different ways to touch me like can I just give you a massage etc. every single time I say I don't want to have sex you find some way to get mad at me and blow up, making it even less likely we will. But you will never learn and that's just how it's going to be

I don't want to talk to you rn
You can apologize for being a forceful dick who expects his girlfriend to have sex with him whenever they are alone and then gets mad at her when she said she doesn't want to.
Or you can keep trying to convince me this is my fault
I would love to see how you spin that

It is a big deal because it has happened so many ducking times and you don't learn
You need to realize how serious this is

Then after me replying about the day, her parents patrolling, she said:

I saw the whole fucking day, I know that they were around but that's why I was back home, to spend time around them so that they have no excuse to say no you can't be around. I know they want to spend time with me they just don't plan anything and so it is up to me to make that effort. I can tell they are really trying to be supportive and accepting of our relationship but you have to realize neither of them had what we had at my age. They didn't bring their boyfriends or girlfriends to sleep over, they didn't have anything like that around their parents. I can tell my mom isn't super okay with it but deals with it instead of pushing me away and making me go behind their back. Same with my dad, but he is more okay with it. My mom will always and has always been weird with relationships, I have tried to be open with her, it doesn't work. I get that you felt like she wanted you to leave but when I asked my dad if you could stay he didn't even hesitate. He was totally fine with it. Obviously he didn't fill in my mom so that made it uncomfortable. When I left the room and you went back to say good night, my dad obviously felt like you were saying goodbye and got confused as he just said you could stay. There are things that no matter what I do, are still going to make you and me uncomfortable when around them, get used to it. In the bathroom when you tried to kiss me both times I was brushing my teeth or popping my spots, I wasn't mad at you for trying to kiss me I just couldn't at the time. And of course I told you to get your cold hands off of me i was warm and you can warm your hands differently. I can't believe you thought that was even worth bringing up. Yes your face hurt me when we were kissing and I told you that so that you knew not to rub your face against mine as you often do. You said you would be careful and that was fine, no problem. Me saying that is not being rude it's telling you something to be aware of so that you don't hurt me. I don't mind if you put in effort to try and have sex with me, that's fine. The problem is when you react to something not going your way. I simply said I didn't want to have sex and you tried several ways to Try and convince and coerce me to. Then for the next 10 minutes you talked about how rude I was to everyone and how I was with my mom and things that literally had nothing to do with having sex. You need to first start not freaking out when I say no, and then if you get upset, to not let that fuel your anger about other things. Learn to be quiet about it, and if it is still a problem when you have calmed down, then you can calmly bring it up, or forget about it cause it isn't a big deal.



She is fucking good, honestly, and this is what im fucking dealing with. By the way, im not some beta dude, I do joke around, cock slap her, slap her ass, im a joker and have always had girls after me but obviously tripped and fell over this one. What do you think about what she said?

You know, reading this, I really am wondering if a big part of the problem is actually you.

It seems like you went over by her house, which was a big step for her and her parents to accept, and she simply wasn't comfortable having sex with you there. Instead of discussing it rationally, you became passive aggressive, and it seems you have a rather passive aggressive streak.

Last time I slept over by my girlfriend, I decided to NOT have sex. Because I respected that, at least for the first time, we should let them be comfortable without them hearing any sex moans across the hall.

You obviously need to open up the lines of communication with your girlfriend. Talk about your issues in a positive way, without trying to cast blame or point fingers. Talk to her HONESTLY about your issues and come to a COMPROMISE.

You also need to be less fucking needy. If your own girlfriend turns you down, then the right thing to do isn't to pester her again for sex. You need to SHOW her that you aren't needy, that you're ok without it, and make her come to you.

You know, reading this, I really am wondering if a big part of the problem is actually you.