I have been seeing this girl for about two months and a couple of days ago she randomly flaked on me. So the backstory with her is that I met her at a club. She is pretty much the one to always initiate text and is always available for me to hang out etc. so I don't think there's another guy in the picture. She's never flaked on me before.

Saturday night we hung out with my friends and she worked all day and was really tired so she left early. We had plans to hang out the next day. She texted me in the morning to meet up. Then I was about to go to her place to make breakfast. Then randomly she just completely stopped texting me back until later on in the night asking me if I need a ride to the airport the next day. I never texted her back and left town but I am heading back tomorrow. So far she hasn't texted me either. Is it a good idea to reinitiate text with her or keep freezing her out until she opens me?

And this is not coming out of desperation but I really liked this girl first but now I have second thoughts obviously. On a sidenote, I'm also seeing another girl who's crazy into me so other options are always there.

Just text her like normal. Stop playing games. You're way past this in this relationship

She is allowed to get busy and so are you

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Dude I appreciate your reply but wouldn't you be pissed if you're ready to walkout the door but the other person won't text you back and you are just sitting there like a pathetic moron. I'm a pretty easy going guy and if she was legitimately busy that's totally cool but what really pissed me off was that she didn't have the decency to send me one text saying "no."

Thanks for elaborating. Yeah, i'd getting little pissed.

I usually call them out on it at the time and not play 'text chicken'

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

Why are you allowing this girl to piss you off so much?

Like Dragula said. Text her like you usually do, or call her and don't play games. If she seems nonreactive, or disinterested throw her number in the garbage and move on.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

Why is it so difficult to ask a girl wtf happened?

Because I get really pissed off when a girl flakes on me. That's usually a red line of me but it's never happened this far along into seeing someone. I will give her a call and ask her what happened. Usually I would've dumped the girl by now but it sucks because I actually like her.

Are you two married?


Don't ask her what happened, if you do. Don't argue over the phone or SPAM. Just arrange a meeting and act normal, act in a way you acted when you met because that's the guy she fell for initially.


Practice being nonreactive to her bs. Aggressive/demanding behavior is unattractive and you will only scare her off by putting so much pressure on her for trivial reasons.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

So in other words, totally ignore the fact that she stood me up? Wouldn't that just encourage her to do it again since she now knows I'm okay with it?

So in other words, totally ignore the fact that she stood me up? Wouldn't that just encourage her to do it again since she now knows I'm okay with it?

Jesus Christ....why the fuck are you guys always afraid to tell a woman something or ask a question??! News flash: if you're afraid to be needy you're needy. You care what she thinks. I'd ask just to know what happened. Did she lose track of time? Did her text messages just not send? Did she forget? Jeez, dont be afraid to ask a question, or for that matter call bs out. You dont need to argue, fight or curse. But you can call out bs or ask what happened.She did something rude. Dont act like a retard who didnt notice she did something rude. If I spit in your face, are you gonna ignore it? You know what it looks like when a girl does something rude and you act like it didnt happen? Like you're AFRAID. Not that you're cool. Because any human being who was on their way over would have noticed that didnt happen as planned. Act like a human being. Instead of pretending she didnt flake.

Handle shit like a MAN. Shit at least handle shit like someone without a mental condition. You can ask a simple question and go from there how you want to handle the relationship from that point. She KNOWS she flaked. She knows you were on your way over. Acting like nothing happened just makes her think you're afraid.

Hmm... Not really.

I agree with what you said about being afraid but this is not it, if they were in some serious relationship and she lost track or flaked him for long period time, hence causing doubts of some sort, you HAVE to ask what the fuck was wrong. Otherwise, it is unnecessary hassle.

OP also didn't mention how long that flaking period was. He just mentioned her being "out of the ordinary" and not answering/initiating chat first.

So calling a girl out for something as this is unnecessary. Or to be mad about.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.

Please read it again. Op stated that he was supposed to meet up to go to hers and she disappeared. As he said he was about to walk out the door and she stopped texting. Now, I have no idea why there's a tendancy to link calling something out with "being mad" or "arguing"...its like guys cant just say something to a chick. Doesnt matter if its a first date or the thousandth date, telling someone they did something weird is no big deal. A chick not texting you back when you're just fluffing=fine. A chick making plans and bailing...just call it out. Or dont mess with her again. A chick doesnt think "wow, I bailed on him rudely and he didnt say anything...he's so manly" she thinks "wow I bailed on him rudely and he is pretending it didnt happen...he's afraid to tell me anything and call me out on wasting his time." Either dont fuck with her, or call it out. Anything else, just shows her you dont respect yourself.

Yeah I think neo is explaining better what was try to explain.

Treat women as if you're texting a friend or a family member. If your brother arranged to meet you at a restaurant at 8pm and then they went radio silence and its 8:30pm - you'd probably call them up asking if there is a problem.

If they had a good reason, they'd mention it. If they didn't, you should then get angry like anybody would for your time being wasted.

It would be more strange to your bro that you didn't even call him out and dig for reasons.

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USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR REPEATEDLY IGNORING MOD WARNINGS AND MULTIPLE RULE VIOLATIONS

My point was pretty simple.

If she does flake indeed and doesn't put up explanation by herself she's not that into the guy as OP would like.

That's why I AGAIN emphasize that I'm not suggesting avoidance as solution, rather being more aloof and relaxed.

Plus. There are no grounds for questioning her whereabouts, they are not even in relationship, they are just seeing each other.

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Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth.