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Okay, I get that.
Can I ask for your guys feedback. Last night was New Years. She lives 5 minutes down the road. Her parents are very controlling and even though they drove her to my free house today, they would much rather her be at their house with me. She came over to my house, we played soccer, it was fine, and then when we got back, she was in a rush to get back to her house, I tried to do many things nothing worked. She doesn't like sex in the day and she was even mad at me taking a shower.
We then go back to hers, and do a puzzle all day, we watched movies with their families, music shows, it was fucking gay and the whole time her parents were there. On new years eve even her mother was like it's 11 and past your bed time to her. They didnt know if I was sleeping over, but she asked them around 12:20, where I did and even though the mum was probably furious about it we went up stairs. We joked around and I mentioned about eating her out and I got the tissues to clean up the mess for after, I come in the room, she even asked, do you have the tissue, I say yes, then she says, you know I didnt shower today so it's up to you if you want to, and im like okay its no problem, so im about to and she literally says, I dont want to, im really tired... i look at her and im like what? I felt like it was a joke. I then said why did you ask me to get a tissue and say you didnt shower and its up to me, and she said, 'i didnt ask if you got the tissue, i was just saying, got the tissue already mmhmm...', and im like no you fucking asked, and then you made a point saying its okay if i was okay with it to eat you out, and then she was like, no we arent having sex, and i honestly, raged, i probably know the right reaction was to be quiet, go to bed, and ignore her, but thats what she did, she just turned over, shut the lights off, and i couldnt believe it. I tried every thing before hand, i then got mad and even said the way she acted around her parents is despicable (its true, if i acted the way she does around her parents to mine they would smack me), and i couldnt just believe her. After arguing, and me saying shes rude and treats people like shit, the next morning she woke up, spent 20 minutes on her phone without saying a word, kissed me and cuddled me, i starred at the wall, turned around, then kissed her back, realized she was naked, tried to rub her legs, her back, where she said 'dont touch my legs, vagina, or ass', where i stopped, and then tried again, twice or so, she got out of bed, and we got in an arguement.
I then said, im going to go, youre treating me like shit and its obvious you dont want me here, to which she said, what do you want for breakfast, her dad was in the other room so i tried not to make a scene, she made me breakfast, i said 'thank you' to which she replied 'just doing my job', i actually laughed and replied, are you fucknig serious. We ate in silence, i said bye to her family, she asked if i wanted tea, i said, no its okay i dont want you to do your job again, we kissed and i left.
I left thinking what a fucking rude cunt, but i probably seemed dramatic, but fuck sakes. I felt baby sat all day, it was the first fucking time i was alone with her for 9 hours and i wanted a bit of action she fuckng seemed like it was okay and then just played it off. The worst part is, in her mind, shes going to ignore me today, or just back away, for fucking what?
Next time, do NOT verbally ask for permission to have sex with ANY girl; just escalate. Learn HOW to escalate.
Like all addictions, it will take time for you to get over this. Keep on sprinting (NO jogging or traditional endurance exercises). I am already seeing an improvement in your emotional state on how you have worded your latest couple of posts so I guess your natural endorphins are doing their job reducing your depression and stress as they should.
As for your sex drive, you have to realize that the size of your muscles is an indicator of your testosterone levels, so if you're skinny, it's below the normal levels. This is also an indicator why you easily give up in getting pussy, why you talk more rather than DO more when it comes to sexual escalation, and why you have a very submissive frame, and so on and so forth.
Aside from your early morning runs, you will need an isometric exercise during evenings before you go to sleep. Get into a kiba dachi (horse) stance and raise both of your arms straight to form a V. Count slowly from 1 to 1,000 while in this stance. Do not move. Maintain the position of your arms and legs. Your big leg muscles will get a good workout plus that V form should jack up your testosterone by 20%. There's a science to this.
The indicators that you're progressing is that you'll get a very hard boner everytime you wake up, you want to fuck every girl you see, you become fearless in a lot of situations, your desire to talk lessens while your desire to move more or DO more heightens, and most importantly, your submissive frame will become more dominant.
Do NOT take any steroids and other synthetic drugs to jack up your testosterone. You will just damage your liver and those will destroy your health.
CHAT
