Hey,

Even after reading quite a few dating books...(Mystery, DDA, Speed Seduction, Dating Wizard, Pick Up 101) I still do not know how to start!

Well i kind of do, but not carry on for how it feels right for me.

I'll give you 1 quick example.
At the gym today, a 9 (friend of a gym friend) came near me and recognised me. She said hey, i said hey back and we smiled...

THAT WAS IT!

I dont know how to carry on this, asking how are you etc. to me seems boring etc.
It's just so different with a nice girl (even though im not really nervous) i just feel like i need something to say and the opinion things etc. i cant seem to use!

All this is very jumbled, so sorry!

Andy

Need more info Andy. WHY did you just let the conversation drop after "hey"? Were you nervous to talk to her? Could you not think of anything to say? Did you not feel like talking? Did you think she didn't feel like talking?

What's going on here? Why do YOU think you can't continue and lead a conversation?

_________________
-That's my two cents...

Sorry, definitely didn't make sense after i read this through!
I really don't know, i wasn't nervous as such although thought it would be easiest ( i guess i was scared actually ) to carry on my gym stuff, and hope that some funky exercise would catch her eye and let her start the conversation.

I'm guessing it is maybe nerves? :S I'm a very confident guy and a lot of my mates would be very surprised ot see me on a site like this. It's just with new girls it doesn't seem normal.

I guess i didn't know what to say that would be he 'right thing' and wouldn't be boring etc.
This will sound like i'm making her out to be better than she is, so I'm expecting a telling off for that!

Hope this makes more sense!

Thanks a lot.

Well, I'll restrain myself from "telling you off" for now...

If you're nervous, the best thing you can do is to just start TALKING. You probably got way inside your head thinking, "what do I say next? Fuck! I don't know what to say." Probably by the time you had thought of something, the opportunity had passed. You can't leave it to her to strike up the conversation because she already did by saying "hey" first. Believe me, been there and done that! You have have HAVE to follow the 3 second rule to avoid getting too much into your own head.

You had the upper hand here because she opened you. Whether she was just being polite or she really wanted to talk doesn't really matter because she gave you the opportunity. When starting a conversation, most of the time it doesn't even matter what you say. Anything is better than nothing!

I'm curious, if you could have done it again, how would you see it going?

_________________
-That's my two cents...

Thanks, much appreciated!!

Wow, never thought of it like that, keep thinking i need to have the right things to say, even though this isn't what happens with all my relationships with mates that definitely work!

It was like that, i occupied myself to give myself time to think, and then it would be plain awkward to ask 'how are you' a minute after saying hey! I am going to try to stick to the 3 second rule (as well as keeping eye contact longer than they do) as my 2 main priorities from now!

"When starting a conversation, most of the time it doesn't even matter what you say. Anything is better than nothing!" ------> Very true, definitely taking this on board!

If i did it again, would have normal 'how are you' chat to open the convo and then talk more about anything, and then have the whole gym looking 'coz i'm not scared to talk to the gorgeous girl who is 26 and i am 18!

Thanks a lot in advance for more golden nuggets!!

You've got the right idea now bro! If I were you, I would learn some canned material that will apply to most any situation. That way if you get in a bind again, you always have a go-to piece. Just don't get thrown off when you feel like you have nothing to talk about because you ran out of material!

For instance, I'm experimenting with a "would you rather" piece. I haven't field tested it extensively yet, but I could bring it up at any place and any time. Maybe find something relevant to your life that you need "advice" on.

It's always easy to say, "Oh hey! Question for you. So my buddy..." and let the conversation develop from there.

_________________
-That's my two cents...

Haha! Amazing!

_________________
-That's my two cents...

Hey there and thanks!

It's starting to work!

Just got back from the gym and decided to try some stuff out. Was a considerable lack of ladies about but i gave it to go. When I was just leaving I saw the most beautiful MILF (from an exercise class we both do) and decided to just say hey.

Used a bit of kino to get her attention and say hey (she was on a treadmill) but just yeh, went for it, said hey and talked for a bit, excused myself and went.

Wow, i feel good! I know this isn't exactly a future target (unfortunately ) but was so much better than walking out and wishing i said hey (or wishing I had done more than walking past and just waving to eachother) ...

The start of many things (Y)
THANKS!

Good for you! You never know what can happen if you never try! You are beginning to see the power and thrill of just putting yourself out there.

Keep with it and your AA will virtually disappear over time (usually about two weeks!).

_________________
-That's my two cents...

I'm pretty confident you now have all the tools you need to carry on a great conversation. Most people don't realize that they are great conversationalists.

Think of how you are with your friends in a mediocre mood, think of the endless conversation you have. Now think of how nervous you get when you see a girl you're interested in. If you could take that nervousness, flip the frame to an exciting one, you can understand how great you can be.

Honestly, for me... 'hi' is usually good enough. After she says hi, you comment on something and take the conversation from there. You would be surprised how many pretty girls just want to talk. If you are wondering how to keep the conversation going, take a look at this thread: the-art-of-conversation-vt12905.html

Just understand man, you need to get out into the real world and do this stuff to get better with it. You need to talk to girls to get better. It sucks, I know. I've been rejected more times in my life than I care to talk about. But im glad I went through that pain period. Hope this post helps.

_________________
'Elaine that was the yam yam'