Hello, I had a girl over to my place for the first date. I met her online and it was pretty easy to get her over.
I had placed my blanket on half of the sofa to prevent her sitting there, and went to the toilet to give her some time to feel comfortable in my room. When I came back, she had moved the blanket a bit, so we'd sit less close.
So we talked for a while before we started the movie. She moved from legs crossed away from me, to more open body language directed towards me in that time. I started the movie and reached over her to get to the blanket, offered her to have it too, and she said yes, but she still sat too far away.

After some mintes I asked if she wanted to come sit closer(and signaled to sit under my arm)(Should I ask or tell her? She is already in my house with a stranger she don't know, and I want her to feel safe).
She :It's always so awkward when people ask me that
me: Why?
She: because..we don't even know each other
me: It's okay, we've talked for a while, here and on phone. It's just cozy
She:Okey, but don't expect anything
Me: *Confused look*

After that we sat and watched the movie. I had my hand around her shoulders and gently stroked her, but she didn't lean in to me. When I tried to use my other hand aswell, on her arm and elbow area, she didnt react for a little while, and then she repositioned her sitting position while making sure she ended up with her hands above the blanket afterwards so I stopped.

She still seemed fairly comfortable and engaged, occasionally laughing and making comments on the movie. But never leaned towards me, even when I hinted with gently pulling her with the arm I had around her.

She left before we had time to finish the movie(This she told me she had to before we started, because the last bus went and she had to practice for exam. I told her she could stay over, but she said no she couldnt because)

WHat I'm wondering is: what should I have done? She seemed fairly comfortable, happy and engaged, and said "but don't expect anything", which I consider fairly mild, and suggesting she wouldn't be too opposed to it. ALSO it was a movie date for first date, she want to get laid right?. But she didn't lean in(there were some space between my side and hers but feet were together(I had my legs on the table and on top of hers for a big part)), softly rejected my attempt to escalate and kept very little eye contact. So I was a little confused as to what to do. If she had been more clear I'd probably leaned in an smelled her, and taken it from there.
When we left I gave her a hug, she said it had been nice to get to know me, and then left.

what now? My goal is to put my dick inside her. It's 24 hours since she was here. None of us has sent a text yet. I'm leaving friday/saturday for christmas. Do I send her a text? Do I wait? Do I invite her again before I leave? Do I say I don't have time before I leave, but think I'd like to meet her after christmas? If Im going to tell her to see me again, what do we do? Another movie date? Taking a walk or going out for coffee seems like a step back to me and not the right way to get her to bed.

I have no idea what I'm doing

BTW, the way I invited her over was: Told her we were gonna watch a movie"on the SOFA. Don't get any ideas".

When girls act like this, sometimes you have to back off and move to their level of interest and then bring them up to yours. She said that you guys didn't really know each other and that was her way of saying that she was not going to show any intimacy at that moment.

Her: because..we don't even know each other
You: That's why you're here. To get to know each other.

That puts you guys on the same page and starts a bond. Then you do the little things, such as giving her some options for which movie. Talk about what she's looking for. All the stuff that will break down the wall and let you guys bond a bit and you are guiding her to the level that you want to be on.

At this point I think you two are not in sync because you were going for sexual and she was moving in the opposite direction. Invite her over again, the worst thing she can do is say no. If she says yes, just try to match her speed this time.

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Thanks


Well, before she came I had asked her what kind of movies she likes, and I let her join in on deciding among some I had picked out.

Talk about what she is looking for, as in relationship? And if she comes over again, do I not invite her to sit under my arm?

So if I understand you right, another movie at my place this week?

You don't invite someone to "sit under your arm" if she's not already brushing up on you. There's a reason as to why she's keeping her distance, and that's because she feels no connection towards you.

So yes, invite her over again and focus on creating a basic emotional bond before you think about ways of sticking your dick inside of her.

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Thanks

I thought it was okay to invite her to sit closer though? I don't expect girls that's less forward to dare sit down and brush against me on her own initiative?

We did talk for about an hour before we started the film. Among other things I asked about what her dreams was, and what she likes to do. And about her musical preference. I also told her shortly about the art I have on my walls and what it is about it that I like.

What more should I talk about?

It doesn't matter what you talk about. The point is to form a bond and have a good time. Don't just ask interview questions you have no desire of knowing anyway.

And if you don't expect this girl to brush up next to you how in the world are you expecting her to have sex?
Women are not the fragile and innocent creatures you presume them to be.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Thanks. I'm not the most talkative guy though, so sometimes I'm having a hard time thinking of something to say. Say anything that comes to mind don't help either when I go to my black box in my mind where there's nothing

I took a girl for a walk today, and got her back to me afterwards for tea and to watch a movie. This girl sat a lot closer to me at once, and quickly leaned into me when I raised my arm to hold around her. I kissed her at the end of the movie and she sucked my dick eventually.

Okey, I sent the girl from the original post a message asking if she wanted to meet up again one more time before I leave for christmas. She said, "sorry I can't." Also the girl I was out with tonight(2nd girl today) just went like: "I think I'm just gonna take this bus up here, cya" And then went in a 90 degree direction away from me.
I was shocked so I was just like okay bye- no expression.

I'm feeling pretty down now. I thought I had good conversation with both of these girls. The last one seemed to be having atleast an okay time for the 30 mins we talked, but then she suddenly was gone after five secs, not even hugging me or saying nice meeting me. And what makes it even worse was that I felt I was pretty on point compared to what I normally am. I was confident after the blowjob the girl had given me earlier today, I didnt really care too much on this second date, not before she left

LOL. I have no idea why I found this scenario hilarious. Reminded me of myself at age 14.

All you needed to do was keep the volume low on the movie. Face in her direction and start off an interaction. If she's feeling it she will IOI you. My favourite thing to do in these scenarios is to start a play fight with her which ends up on the floor, you can escalate and take it from there. There's plenty of different ways that this situation can lead to sex though.

Movies are only something to put on in the background, you're not supposed to watch them until you've actually had sex.

You're feeling down because you're outcome dependent.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

Yes if by outcome dependent you mean feeling down because these rejections did a blow to my self esteem. I didnt feel like I really needed anything from these girls, but now... and it's made me doubt my ability to make it worthwhile for this other girl which has promised me massage, wine, pizza, hugs and a kiss on the cheek for our first date

Yes, that is what I mean.
Your self esteem suffered a blow because someone you don't even know isn't infatuated with you? so what?

Those girls could be absolute losers for all you know. Trainwrecks. Stop worshiping women for how they look and depending on their validation.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.