Hi guys,

I couldn't really find a forum that would fit my question and therefore hope I chose the best place for it.
I believe I've learned quite some things from PU, mainly about inner game, playfulness. I didn't care too much about routines though.

I am facing this following situation. I've developed feelings for a girl and had a sense she was highly attracted either. I've known her since June and made a first date in July. After a crazily fun night we ended up at her apartment. I convinced her in laying down for a while. I started stroking her back and was just about starting to make out with her when she woke up (well at least she claimed she had fallen asleep), looked at me with a nagging smile.. "Now that's what you meant by 'sleep for a while' hm?". Turned out she was really into it, but there was still something she wanted to bring to an end before proceeding. She said it wouldn't feel right otherwise and a respected, because I knew it was serious to me and I wouldn't want to get up on the wrong side of the bed. She told me she wanted to take care of it during summer.

We wouldn't meet in 3 months for living in different countries at that time and finally met again in autumn. It took me a while to make the transition from emails to real life but it worked out finally. Although I had the impression she was still highly attracted, more and more actually, we only met alone twice. We've met together with friends and all that, but I developed a feel she was afraid of situations that might lead to something.

After a while I asked her to meet and talk. At that time I wasn't willing to continue like this and she herself told me she owed me an explanation. She sort of broke up with her boyfriend that she had been together with for several years in summer and then moved to the city that I live in. She explained the relationship had already almost been broken and she was struggling with her feelings and meeting me confused her even more. Also she told me she was really attracted and often imagined what it would be like to be together with me. And still there was something she wasn't able to let go with her ex and they were still in touch. She couldn't tell where all this would lead and she said it was wrong to raise my hopes. I told her I didn't want to continue this, in a warm-hearted way though. I knew she'd understand.

We accidentally met at a concert couple of hours later. She looked really sad and during the night she texted me. She wrote she understood me, but it'd be such a loss not to keep in touch and she didn't want to loose me as a human being (whatever that meant in this context) and how important I'd have become to her.
The next day I texted her back: This was not enough for me. I wrote some very passionate lines.
She texted me back with the longest text ever. First she thanked me for my honesty, then told me she was walking by my house over and over again being tempted to stop by and explain something to me, that she doesn't even understand herself. She said the whole thing confuses her so much, she couldn't tell what's right or what's wrong. Over and over she thinks she is just doing a huge mistake and it makes her doubt everything. She then said that probably her insecurity was the least thing I'd need now and although she just couldn't imagine that this should be the end, she was going to respect my decision now.

I'm really struggling taking a decision on if I shall stick with what I told her, or if this all was enough reason to go fight again. Do you guys have any intuition in what'd be good to do under the circumstances? It might as well be right to move on and see if she takes a decision and comes back, or to not let go of her, be active, show her what I want and who I am and see what happens.

You're busy respecting her words but not realizing that's what she's feeling in that moment(and not necessarily meaning it). You should be saying okay, inviting her over, and changing how she feels. That's what seduction is all about.

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Comments that are not very significant.

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escalation is whole key here. She's got conflicts inside her because she's torn between the attraction with you and the feelings she had with her last bf. you need to take charge, when she says "i'm not sure" you say "oh I know!it's so wrong" and keep kissing her. whisper in her ear, touch her softly in kino places. get her so worked up that she practically rapes you. make her feel what she used to with that guy, but with you. she has this ideal of what it feels like, and you need to entice that imagination with her. If you do that, she'll lose her conflict because she'll picture you as the "every guy shes ever had". Don't be the nice guy in this. now, I'm not saying be an asshole, what i mean is don't fall into her game. take charge and flip the script. sounds like she's already got the idea to chase you, you just need to push it further. drive her crazy. two steps forward and one step back. when you kiss her, go in like it's passionate as hell, kiss her slightly and pull away. watch her continue to kiss the air, and lean into you.
when she says "i'm walking past your house" say "are you stalking me? doesn't my new couch look so comfortable?!" tease her, joke around with her, flip the script dude. you got the power, make her chase you and drive her crazy.
don't use too many compliments and heartfelt statements. that can make her lose her attraction. instead, only reward her with compliments when she shows you interest. don't use them as a rope to pull her back, it only works 1% of the time. instead, be playful. remember the escalation ladder, and don't be afraid to climb it down and up and down again. if she resists the interest, back off and start from the top again. if she resists at the last minute, roll over and hold her. resists again, turn on the lights and talk. resists again, turn on the lights and get up or turn on the tv. she wants it, she's just resisting...could be relationship conflicts, parental conflicts, society conflicts, or internal conflicts and fears. If you make her feel like she's losing your attention, she WILL go after you. I've used this dozens of times and it worked every time...even with really religious girls. you need to override their internal conflicts with either understanding or control.
remember, you are the man. there's a statement I heard today that fits the whole game it was in a movie called Saints and Strangers about the pilgrims that came to america. one of the wives said "I am the wife! I can't wage wars, fight battles, compromise peace, hunt for food, or shoot a gun. you are the man! you have no right to be scared!!" This is profound because it's the idea that even to this day, we are still in the place to lead women. so lead her where YOU want to it go, and make her feel like it was her idea.

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If you eliminate the impossible, only the obvious remains
-Albert Einstein

What I probably didn't make clear enough is that I quit the contact. Which I did when she sidestepped some times in a row when I was trying to make plans with her.

ahh okay. yeah flaking is a turn off for me too. I just move on if they flake on me.

_________________
If you eliminate the impossible, only the obvious remains
-Albert Einstein