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NM82
PostPosted: Sat Nov 28, 2015 8:41 pm 
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Interesting facts about Maslows hierarchy. Heard of it before, but cool you relating it to this thing of ours. Your spot on of me being in the Eros-category.

It wasn´t like that actually, what I had in mind was more like me going over to her place with a couple of wine boxes and hang out. I´m aware of the SPAM value by buying shit. I already took her out on a date, so that´s not happening again anytime soon.

I´ve been reading Mansons book Models. He talks about being honest with ones intentions without fearing the consequenses. Reading about this confuses the shit out of me. It´s like you shouldn´t play the game and instead be upfront and honest, but still play the game: don´t invest more then her and so on. But that´s a thin line one has to walk following that advice. You should be able to say I dig you and be forward but at the same time, don´t fucking say you dig her if she doesn´t say it first.
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J.Daniels
PostPosted: Sat Nov 28, 2015 10:39 pm 
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You're being VERY needy.
Every human being is needy. Image Maslow's hierarchy of needs has sex as the fundamental physiological need with love in the middle and personal definition at the top. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27 ... y_of_needs

That need for sex is our reason for being (and being on this site). Men are up front about their sexual desires. Women pathologically avoid taking responsibility for their sexuality and being honest about their emotions, hence, the PUA tactics to break through their rationalizations for contradictory/deceptive behavior.

That the OP is an Eros lover, who falls in love easily, places him in the unique realm of the seductor, who would be happiest with confidantes and lovers vs. once in a blue moon 5 minute sex (as in the Ludus lover with intimacy issue) is no flaw or mistake. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_styles

The OP should learn to control how much interest he shows in a woman, until he is certain that she is an Eros lover worthy of all that voluminous erotic passion. Until then, the OP should, as discussed in this forum over and over, put her in the position of pursuing him until she can show that she deserves to be in his life, and if not he must indifferently drop her. That's psychological health 101.

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So she sent a text back to me the next day. She was all happy I got back to here. We send each other a couple texts back and forth, teasing and bantering, and I end up asking her to meet up for drinks the same night. She turns me down saying it sounds fun but shes at her way to a friends. Do I keep on pushing again after a couple days trying to set a date or lay low and wait for her to contact? And if so, for how long? I dont want to keep on chasing her, initiating contact and coming of needy, but shes reciprocative when I do. How do I play this men? Do I contact at all if she doesnt, or do I just say fuck it and move on, risking loosing busting all kinds of nuts?
Stop contacting her. Stop thinking about what is going on in her head, as not even she knows. As discussed in this forum, these are women's priorities: getting some guy's money, her nails, her hair, her vacations, her car, her friends, her children, and then you. Paying for women, i.e. drinks is always dicey as it immediately shifts the value to them, when she should want to have sex with you due to primal attraction sans the purchase. As soon as "friends" became an excuse to not have sex with you (she can see her friends anytime), she lowered your importance/value, making that calculation explicit.

Do not talk to her. She'll send you a text sometime in a day or two to test your availability and then punk you again. Silence and indifference are devastating to women whose lives are nails and gossip. While she obsesses over your silence, go have sex with all of the other women, who dig you on the spot (desirous of being your 24/7 playmate). In 3 months, you won't even remember her name.
That's like me calling him thirsty and you saying "Humans can die of thirst, every human gets thirsty" lol...

I didn't click on what you posted, but the image doesn't look like something that can't come from within. Also you're generalising why guys come on this site. Do you think Eddie Fews and Chief (for example, just to name 2) come on this site to ask how to get more sex? Do you see them posting threads about "Should I go into no contact to get my ex back? She said she loves me but she isn't in love with me, what does this mean? Should I pretend to be busy?"

OP: Don't play any games, just get out and get busy. You're not out that often? That's your problem. Fix it. Do what it takes. Instead of trying to get her back, try to get over her. I've been there before, I know how it is.

Go to the relationships section and read my thread: To the guys who want their ex back! Then apply everything it says.

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sarabellum
PostPosted: Sat Nov 28, 2015 11:30 pm 
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Quote:
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You're being VERY needy.
Every human being is needy. Image Maslow's hierarchy of needs has sex as the fundamental physiological need with love in the middle and personal definition at the top. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27 ... y_of_needs

That need for sex is our reason for being (and being on this site). Men are up front about their sexual desires. Women pathologically avoid taking responsibility for their sexuality and being honest about their emotions, hence, the PUA tactics to break through their rationalizations for contradictory/deceptive behavior.

That the OP is an Eros lover, who falls in love easily, places him in the unique realm of the seductor, who would be happiest with confidantes and lovers vs. once in a blue moon 5 minute sex (as in the Ludus lover with intimacy issue) is no flaw or mistake. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_styles

The OP should learn to control how much interest he shows in a woman, until he is certain that she is an Eros lover worthy of all that voluminous erotic passion. Until then, the OP should, as discussed in this forum over and over, put her in the position of pursuing him until she can show that she deserves to be in his life, and if not he must indifferently drop her. That's psychological health 101.

Quote:
So she sent a text back to me the next day. She was all happy I got back to here. We send each other a couple texts back and forth, teasing and bantering, and I end up asking her to meet up for drinks the same night. She turns me down saying it sounds fun but shes at her way to a friends. Do I keep on pushing again after a couple days trying to set a date or lay low and wait for her to contact? And if so, for how long? I dont want to keep on chasing her, initiating contact and coming of needy, but shes reciprocative when I do. How do I play this men? Do I contact at all if she doesnt, or do I just say fuck it and move on, risking loosing busting all kinds of nuts?
Stop contacting her. Stop thinking about what is going on in her head, as not even she knows. As discussed in this forum, these are women's priorities: getting some guy's money, her nails, her hair, her vacations, her car, her friends, her children, and then you. Paying for women, i.e. drinks is always dicey as it immediately shifts the value to them, when she should want to have sex with you due to primal attraction sans the purchase. As soon as "friends" became an excuse to not have sex with you (she can see her friends anytime), she lowered your importance/value, making that calculation explicit.

Do not talk to her. She'll send you a text sometime in a day or two to test your availability and then punk you again. Silence and indifference are devastating to women whose lives are nails and gossip. While she obsesses over your silence, go have sex with all of the other women, who dig you on the spot (desirous of being your 24/7 playmate). In 3 months, you won't even remember her name.
That's like me calling him thirsty and you saying "Humans can die of thirst, every human gets thirsty" lol...

I didn't click on what you posted, but the image doesn't look like something that can't come from within. Also you're generalising why guys come on this site. Do you think Eddie Fews and Chief (for example, just to name 2) come on this site to ask how to get more sex? Do you see them posting threads about "Should I go into no contact to get my ex back? She said she loves me but she isn't in love with me, what does this mean? Should I pretend to be busy?"
When people write "LOL" they are not really laughing and no one is dying. Lack of motivation notwitstanding, "I didn't click on what you posted, but the image doesn't look like something that can't come from within," there is no substitute for reading and informed choices based on psychology. Your speculation regarding "Fews" and "Chief" are irrelevant. All humans are motivated by a hierarchy of needs, as aptly explained by Maslow. There are no exceptions. If you think there are, cite your authority.
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Interesting facts about Maslows hierarchy. Heard of it before, but cool you relating it to this thing of ours. Your spot on of me being in the Eros-category.

It wasn´t like that actually, what I had in mind was more like me going over to her place with a couple of wine boxes and hang out. I´m aware of the SPAM value by buying shit. I already took her out on a date, so that´s not happening again anytime soon.

You should be able to say I dig you and be forward but at the same time, don´t fucking say you dig her if she doesn´t say it first.
You are correct. There is nothing wrong with telling the woman how you feel. Timing is everything. No woman is special- not yet. She is not special until she shows you through doing things for you and her explicit words that she wants to play a special role in your life. Then, it is wise and a good time to tell her how you feel in a way natural to you. She must then make a choice- the whole point of escalation. I admire you for being sincere. Best wishes.
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J.Daniels
PostPosted: Sat Nov 28, 2015 11:43 pm 
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And this my friends, is why you never take dating advice from a female. As I've said before: Women are experts at being women, not seducing women. "It's ok to be needy because everyone else is" :shock:

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NM82
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 12:12 am 
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She´s a woman?! Shoulda looked at the nick more closely. Ofcourse, that changes everything. Thx for the heads up.
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neo87
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 4:04 pm 
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She´s a woman?! Shoulda looked at the nick more closely. Ofcourse, that changes everything. Thx for the heads up.

LMAO

When you didnt know she was a woman, you were agreeing with her assessment of you. Are you that weak minded that you cant think for yourself? The chick, and everyone else is telling you the same thing...move on, meet and fuck other women.

Dragula:
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She wanted dick and you wanted love = Not compatible (You both want different things) Often girls don't want to be in a relationship so soon after a break up but they do however, tend to chase dick.
The woman:
Quote:
That the OP is an Eros lover, who falls in love easily, places him in the unique realm of the seductor, who would be happiest with confidantes and lovers vs. once in a blue moon 5 minute sex (as in the Ludus lover with intimacy issue) is no flaw or mistake.
Dragula:
Quote:
Next time, don't even CONSIDER a relationship till you know the girl is looking for that.
Quote:
The OP should learn to control how much interest he shows in a woman, until he is certain that she is an Eros lover worthy of all that voluminous erotic passion
J Daniels:
Quote:
She needs to be contacting you every single time, at which point you say "When are you free to get together?" (that eliminates the risk of her being on her way to a friends house)


The woman:
Quote:
Stop contacting her. Stop thinking about what is going on in her head, as not even she knows.
Dragula:
Quote:
It is time to chase more girls and learn to pick up girls with a developed skill set, rather than get lucky once and join a pick up forum
The woman:
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While she obsesses over your silence, go have sex with all of the other women, who dig you on the spot (desirous of being your 24/7 playmate). In 3 months, you won't even remember her name.
Dragula:
Quote:
Next time, don't even CONSIDER a relationship till you know the girl is looking for that. You will pretty much know what she wants after spending a few nights with her. All you did was think about what YOU wanted. It's a mutual thing.
The woman:
Quote:
No woman is special- not yet. She is not special until she shows you through doing things for you and her explicit words that she wants to play a special role in your life.
So basically the male and female posters are saying the same thing. Stop chasing her, meet other women, you 2 aren't looking for the same shit. She never said it was ok to be needy with this girl. And while I don't like psycho babble stuff, you agreed with her assessment.

I point all this out, because it was a low move JD to dismiss the chicks input, which even though I aint a Maslow fan, was pretty in line with others and yourself. You shouldnt be dismissing the chick's input with her gender, just because you can't debate her points. If she's giving shit advice, break it down and show why it's shitty and wrong. Would you be ok if someone said "don't listen to JD's advice because he lives with his mom, he cant tell you about this?" No. And I'd be defending your ass just the same if someone pulled that simple shit. When you bring her gender into it, you're saying you can't back what you say. Don't play like that man. Let your argument speak for why you're correct; not your gender. And OP, think for yourself man...the chick was saying the same shit as everyone else. Don't dismiss her advice because someone used her pussy as an excuse to not address her points.
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Dragula
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 4:13 pm 
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Neo, I sure like having you around, Neo for president.

I won't be surprised if the sarabellum PM'd you wanting to hook up.

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neo87
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 5:08 pm 
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Neo, I sure like having you around, Neo for president.

I won't be surprised if the sarabellum PM'd you wanting to hook up.
Well thats why I responded...so some smoking 10 on a pua forum would hit me up and chances are she lives right down the street :)

Yeah, I read the last comments first thinking "oh some chick is on here talking some pussyish talk and telling the guy to buy flowers, or wait for her or send her an email with your feelings." Was surprised and confused when I read the thread to see that she was saying sleep with other chicks and placing the OP as the prize in the scenario.

As a side note, can this whole "don't ask the deer how to hunt, ask the hunter" motto die? It applies for hunting, sure...deers cant talk. That's why its stupid. If you were conquering a new land, you'd be stupid if you didnt get a native (woman) to help you. That way you can know the enemies defences, weaknesses, how best to attack. Now you get a dumb native, you get incorrect info. You get a smart native, you can plan a smart strategy. The Americans didnt run up in America and start shooting. They got natives to teach them shit first. Women CAN give bad dating advice. A smart woman, who has enough emotional intelligence, honesty with herself and dating experience can offer great insights into what works on women and what doesn't. I didnt even know sbellum was a woman, sure maybe she sounded like a poetic writing man who studies pysch, but her words were not the typical Cosmo magazine female dating advice. So dont treat the chick as such.
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NM82
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 5:20 pm 
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Neo87:

Even a blind chicken sometimes find the corn. Anybody can sometimes give you good advice. If that is the case, then I could have gone talking to my mom about this thing. Maybe she would say something that resonates.

This thing is a issue for men. For me, I can´t take a womens advice about PUA seriously, even if sarabellum did make some valid points about this particular issue.
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neo87
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 5:57 pm 
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Neo87:

Even a blind chicken sometimes find the corn. Anybody can sometimes give you good advice. If that is the case, then I could have gone talking to my mom about this thing. Maybe she would say something that resonates.

This thing is a issue for men. For me, I can´t take a womens advice about PUA seriously, even if sarabellum did make some valid points about this particular issue.
I respect your choice to not take advice from women. That's your choice. I disagree because I realize that all men can tell you about women, comes from their experiences with women, what worked, what didn't and then hopefully give advice based on that. Likewise, women can give advice based from their experiences, what worked on them and what didn't. For eg, if I had been in your situation, I may have pulled back on the chick, she came running back and everything was good. I would give you advice to pull back. But I can only see her coming back and attributing that to me pulling back. I wouldn't know if she was fucking some other guy who dumped her so she came back, I couldn't know if her ex cussed her out she ran back to me. A woman can give those insights that the guys wouldnt have. So its not a big deal to me who shares their dating experiences. But as I said thats your choice to take what advice you want.

But, are you really looking for good advice anyway? Dragula gave complete advice in the first reply ie its dead, meet other women. You've continued to push it, and when she isnt biting, look for ANOTHER move with her. So its really not that your disregarding her advice because she's a woman, you're still disregarding ALL advice to move on. You want some advice to get to fuck this girl, when everyone is saying move on. Even if she doesnt text you for a month, you still want to know if to move on? If you dont want female advice fine, at least take the male advice youve been given.
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NM82
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 6:42 pm 
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Even most mens advice are pretty shitty. I came here to get EXPERT advice. There´s a difference in that. And you are wrong about me disregarding the suggestions from the others. I really do appreciate them.

I see it like this. This whole thing, no rules are written in stone, and no situation is exactly the same. It´s more a thing of probabilities. For example, if I follow your advice and not contacting there´s a 90 % chance she will contact me next time and 10% i´ll never hear from her again. On the other hand, if I do contact here again, there´s a 10% chance I´ll see her again and 90% that i don´t.

I actually ain´t planning to get in touch with her again, it´s her move. Im hitting the club next weekend, following your advice.
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Dragula
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 7:56 pm 
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Define what an expert with women is?

You don't even know us?

Why are you being such a chode? Would you like to message me what advice you was hoping to hear and I can copy and paste it on a new post for you?

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NM82
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 8:05 pm 
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A chode?! Didn´t mean to come off like that. Maybe my last post come off a little harsh.

I have been to this forum in the past so I know which members wisdom you should listen to. Damn you guys are pretty rough on the edges. Jisses. Anyway, thanx for all the advice. I do appreciate it. I got what I needed.
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Dragula
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 8:07 pm 
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A chode?! Didn´t mean to come off like that. Maybe my last post come off a little harsh.

I have been to this forum in the past so I know which members wisdom you should listen to. Damn you guys are pretty rough on the edges. Jisses. Anyway, thanx for all the advice. I do appreciate it. I got what I needed.

So what's your plan of action?

can you list the experts for me and tell me why they are experts?

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NM82
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 8:38 pm 
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Don´t know if you mean my plan in this particular situation or overall.

Regarding the girl, I aint contacting her again. Her move. In overall life, i´m starting a new job tomorrow, so my focus will be on that. I don´t have a big social circle like I used to in my 20´s so I will have to work on that also. This is probably the toughest issue for me right now. And I really don´t know how to go about it. Im also working out almost every day trying to get fit. Regarding the romance thing, I´m going to try to meet as many woman as I can. I´m reading the Manson book that you recommended in another thread and I think it´s one of the better that I have read. If not the best.

As for the experts, I base it on posts that you guys have made in the other threads. Alot of it resonates with me and my overall theory about the game. I can relate the advice to my own experiences on what worked and what didn´t in the past. You are one of them, so is J.Daniels. I think neo87 makes a lot of sense also.
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