I don't want a relationship. And no casual sex without relationship.

That is what my ex just told me, few days after the break up and i'm like wtf? Her argument is that we don't suit in longer term, because of age differences(which is valid, but should love not win?).

She told me that she is up for coffee and we could see each other and talk. And I said if she wants coffee then i demand she contacts me, kinda like "make up your mind woman"(don't know if thats beta). But I know that she will never call me(stubborn type).

LMAO..."Should love not win?" That's so cute. She doesn't love you. She was trying not to hurt your feelings and using age as an excuse.

Stop and think about what she's saying. She's telling you that she doesn't want a relationship with you nor sex with you. Basically, giving you no options to be with her. What you have to get in your mind is that she's not going to allow for you to TALK her into changing her mind. The only hope you have is in your actions. If you want this girl back, you have to move on. Get your shit together, go out with other women, and meet up with her for coffee every so often and let her see that she is at the most an option for you. Unless you treated her like shit, an ex will usually want you back when she knows you're happy with another woman or women.

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So unbelievably true. The amazing power of SOCIAL PROOF.

Not necessarily power of social proof. But the power of actually moving on.

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I just realized who you were. You're the guy that snuck into your girlfriend's phone and confronted her on a message that some guy sent her. She didn't break up with you because of your age. She broke up with you because you are insecure.

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Do you really think, that my insecure move forced her hand like that? Maybe you are right.

I will never do that to a woman again. I feel really bad inside about how I could confront someone i love like that, especially when I reliazed that no guy could be a threat(but it's too late now I guess and she will see me as not beta, but the shittest guy that backstabbed her).

This feels horrible.

Stop those thoughts right now. You need to shift to a positive mindset or just accept everything as is, but taking steps towards something you want. It's like you go to a store to buy a newspaper but then you find out that they are out. Do you sulk and moan about it? No, you just go to another store or buy something else and move on. You have a choice on how you view things and how to take action. You take action. You may make a mistake, but you LEARN and GROW. That's how we all progress.

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To be honest, I condemn your actions of checking her phone, but she most likely didn't break up with you over that. A girl doesn't go from love to break up over something like that. When a girl breaks up with you, she was planning to for a while. This was just an excuse. Now maybe your insecurities seeped into the relationship before. Maybe she was just getting bored. Maybe she was realizing for a time that you're age difference was a problem. Maybe she DID want to date the other guy or new guys. I dunno. But a break up like this doesn't come from nowhere for checking a phone. Even if you had admitted you always did it, which you prob didnt, she wouldnt go from relationship to 0 if things were going well before. You were about to get dumped soon.

Now I know that prob sucks to hear but I gotta be honest with it. It's easier to think that this one thing you did caused her to break up, but most likely you lost her a while ago. Going forward, work out your insecurities...heck by how it played out I wouldnt be surprised if she started dating the other guy or some guy right away that was there. But if you aren't secure in a future relationship dont be in it. If you dont trust someone dont be with them.

But hey, maybe things were really great before and this break up and her wanting to "see each other and talk" is her way of putting things on a break. If that's the case if you meet up with her she'll give you some openings to win her over. If she really just doesnt want you completely, then she was planning to break up, in which case the friendzone is real.

OUCH!!! If you’ve heard the words “I love you ....but"

What you are actually hearing is the death of a relationship.

It means the same as LJBF's.
Of course it does. She's going to drown her sorrows in some new cock, how are you going to drown yours?

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What is LJBF?

Edit: Ahh friendzone.

Everything you say is very true.

Yes, after our last conversation, when I asked, how we could go from something big to nothing within few days, she told me that, this last move was too much to handle. Our age difference was already telling us, that we don't have any future, no matter what we do. So she would most likely break up(or I would when after some time).

AND, something guys always forget - i had plenty of redflags(but I did not pay attention to them). So it must be true, that women plan ahead, so they lack in emotions when they go(it so insane to experience, that someone can change so much, that even drinking coffee together, is something she must consider just after few days).

How old are you two?

I don't want to keep getting involved with this but you are putting some bad thinking out there OP. Age differences between men and women aren't a problem for younger women and older men. Younger women with insecure older men is a problem. Being with a significantly younger woman requires you to be above everything and you are demonstrating that you are not. You aren't giving her anything that she must live up to in order to stay in your life. Start showing maturity and not insecurity.

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She was 46 years old, rich and famous, extremely independent, strong, secure, alpha female traits written all over(had better past than most women could dream off).

That move I made was something she would forgive me for(but I won't forgive myself). Obviously I also checked her regulary, only to reliaze that she was trustworthy. I must work on my insecurity(i got zero experience with relationships).

I'm 30 and my issue was that i wanted kids. And she could not give me that obviously(and can't help being a little insecure bitch from time to time). I believe that stuff gets real after the honeymoon period and bye bye(our discussions also got more mean, was we started to focus on the bad stuff in a bad way)and she actually helped me out.

Everything makes sense now.

46 man

She aint got long left anyway

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