Before today, I was ultra confident that I could become a PUA. I read this forum, I read books, I got everything planned out. But now, I have my doubts.

Ok, here's what happened. I was out with a couple guy friends, and we went ice skating.

Skating for an hour or so, when this 5-set came. It comprised of a young girl, a young boy, a girl and her boyfriend, and a HB7. I noticed her skating. At first, she was with the couple, but they were virtually ignoring her, so she went to skate alone. Then she skated with the young kids sometimes. My friend kept prompting me to go sarge her, I was contemplating it, she seems bored. But when it comes down to it, I had no balls. I kept going through my routine in my head, but other thoughts like what happens if she reject me and all the negative things pop out. In the end, she left and walked away.

Now I feel dejected. The chance was there for me and I didn't take it. I feel like such a loser. What should I have done or should do to get my confidence up again and what openers would you have used?

P.S- I'm from Singapore so I think this might have to be taken into consideration. People are generally shy talking to strangers, and the country is so small that I might run into her again.

And I don't have a problem with starting conversation with male strangers, female elderly, kids, or a Hb who's a friend's friend, but when it came to stranger HB I turn to become a piece of stone.

AA strikes again. Really the only cure for it is practice. The first HB stranger is the hardest, and they keep getting a little easier every time.

Practice is definitely the cure.

The more you do it, the more you become desensitized.

If you're worried at making that break through try lowering your standards and open sets you don't give two shits about.

Then if they blow you off it doesn't really matter. Treat everyday as an opportunity to sarge.

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This is getting really hard. I'll post my second sarging attempt tomorrow. Any ideas how to improve my confidence and not think twice about doing it?

Dude you should try and go out and just talk to alot of women. Not with the intent to pick them up but maybe for conversation. Even if they only say on word back it doesnt matter because you got past ur AA...

It's okay not to know what to do. Every AFC gets those sometimes. It's good that you're social and fun. However, I could understand why it's hard for you to approach a HB.

Starting a conversation with a stranger is not a big problem. I think your major concern is being rejected. You're not a loser for attempting a approach and you're certainly not a loser if you get rejected. It's her loss that she didn't get to knwo you better.

There are ways to improve the AA which you had. AA is Approach Anxiety. FEAR+WORRY=AA.

To get over AA just approach anyone you see; male, female doesn't matter. Act like you already know them. Think of something that happene interesting that day; a highlight of the day. Go to up a strainger and say:

YOU: "Hey-I can't stay long but I just needed a opinion. My friend and I were discussing whether or not a tomatoe is a fruit or vegatable?"

This will open the conversation and you can then go with the flow. Eject the convo because it's only practice to get over the AA.

Read on the forum of some good openers and how to get over AA.

Also another way to get over AA is thinking of being blown off in a ridiculous way and humorous way. This will make the rejection seem like nothing. So the next time you get rejected you'll just laugh and don't really care that much.

IF you need any more help just PM me or whatever. Peace!

_________________
"Women Love What They Can't Have!"

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Don't give up. We all had our setbacks when we started, but with practice, practice and a whole pile more practice, you will become great.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I can't help it. I tend to overanalyse things. I think the main thing is I'm afraid of rejection.

Man.... U HAVE TO BE A BIT CARELESS....

DON't GIVE A DAMN OF WHAT SHE THINKS.....


THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN IS THAT SHE WUD SLAP U....

and youre afraid may be your friend are gonna make fun of that....

BUT A EVEN A FEW SLAPS CAN MAKE U A GREAT PLAYER....

and then the laughers would cry....

Alright man, rejection isn't the end of the world. Its a new begining. Take each approach as a learning experience. If you are successful, then you did good. If not then you learned, you adapt. Just remember she's lucky you talked to her. She rejects you, you approach another HB.

Ok so here's what happened. I was over in a holiday destination in Malaysia, and went to this small club at night. It was quite small, so you can basically see everything that's going on and the people in the club. Well there's this two HB6.5s at the corner of the dance floor, and I was contemplating whether to approach them or not, and I had a friend who at least knew a little about puaing to back me up. I just never got the courage to go up to them. Maybe because they were dressed too sexily that it intimidated me, or maybe because they were obviously older that scared me. In the end, this 40 plus dude with a beer belly actually managed to get them to dance with him with AFC tactics like buying them drinks. Over the course of the whole night, they drifted from AFC to AFC, not giving a damn that they get touched. I have no doubts that if I actually used the Pua tactics on them, I would have had them in my bed.

Ok, so after that, I thought maybe I should start lower. So I saw this set of 3 HB5s, and they were approximately the same age as me or maybe a little younger, on the outside of the dance floor, and they seemed really bored. I wanted to go up but I didn't dare to and just kept taking glances at them, which I know is very AFC. The fact that this group of HB7s were talking to them didn't help. After an hour or so, me and my mate were beside them dancing, and I thought this was the best opporunity. My heart was pounding, my face's probably beet red, and I leaned over and all i could muster was a "hey you and your friends want to dance with us" in chinese. Which is very very AFC. I couldn't help it. She looked at her friend and her friend said she didn't want to dance. I gave a meek smile and turned away.

I officially suck.

think of the Nike Motto
"Just do it"

fear nothing, and "Just do it"... thats what it takes

I've heard of an activity that's supposed to help with approach anxiety. I think it was go to a crowded place, like a mall or something, and without routine just say hi to every woman you see there. Maybe try a routine if you feel confident enough. It should build your confidence in the approach that you will be able to try a routine or something on someone when out in the field.

Credit to I don't know.