Hello, yesterday I did a bad thing. It's my 1st gf so I kinds don't know what to do, let's give u some context.

So I moved in with my gf Marcelina and her best friend Caroline after about 4 months of knowing eachother, we're in love and I thonght it's a good decision (I got that some relationships break up after moving in together but w/e...) and (now the history starts) they are fucking messy. Gf leaves all her stuff everywhere, barely ever do loundry (which is her responsibility in the house) and so on, long story short I have to do 90% of house works and it pisses me off. So 11.11 is holiday so I told them about a week ago that we're gonna clean the house, they said ok. So it's tuesday (a day before 11.11) and she comes late and says that she got like 5 appointments (in her work she meets ppl, she can do it basicly whenever she wants) so that's why i got, well, pissed. not like angry-pissed but more disappointed-pissed. after like 2 hours we had a light argument in bed and (my fuck up here) when I had no reply to her saying i pushed-punched (idk, to me it was pretty light but she's rly fragile ...) her shoulder and she immediately crying. I knew she didn't want me at that time so I left and came back after I heard she stopped crying, she didn't talk to me for like half an hour, I didn't want to break the silence. Then when she switched off the light I whispered her how sorry I am and how bad I feel, never again will I do it again and so on. I feel like a bitch saying that cuz I never thought I could hurt a girl.
After, idk, like 30 min of taking things slow we were huggin and kissing. It seemed like we're 'cool', or more like ... she's not 'fucking upset' at me.

Today (11.11) when she woke up I knew she's not in the mood. She loves me, I know that undoubtly but im sure she doesn't feel safe with me at least now. We're rly close, both trust eachother and had a lot of trust. I don't know how it will turn out in near future, cuz I didn't see her today after she left early for her stuff, but I know I have to somehow make up for what I did for her, and I don't mean pushing her but making her loose that trust and safety.

To me, I don't feel like it was something that bad. We were in a bad situation and I did a bad thing, but she does bad things too. I just don't take them personal, cuz I rather focus on the good things in our life. To the point: please help me make her feel safe with me and regain the trust we had. Appreciate ANY help.

Thanks,
Lucas from Poland

I don't think it's really our job to clean up your little roommate bitch fit here.

Obviously there is not enough maturity here for cohabitation.

That is one woman you shouldn't even be thinking of developing a future with at this point, She should be a responsible adult and that shows no responsibility whatsoever.
What happens when you do commit even further? Guess what, she will still be the same. And that is the whole point of living with someone before making big choices, is to get to know what they are like. Now you know.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Yeah you guys shouldn't live together. 4 months in you move in with her and domestic abuse is already a problem.... Probably best to move out. Cause I don't know if you can honestly guarantee not to hit her again

But living together is not the problem, the loss of trust/safety is.

I always thought I'll have plenty of women till I get merried so when I met her I didn't rly have 'she will be my wife' kind of thing on my mind.
So when holidays started in July there were 2 ways: start living with her and finally move from my parent's house + have wonderful holidays withher or just spend money or some dumb shit. OR just have wonderful year or so with her and break up cuz it turns out to be failure. But it's not the time and I dont want to give up on 1st bigger problem, I need to solve this so PLEASE if any of u were in simmilar situation lemme know how u dealt with that

Options

1.) Sit there and be a puss.

2.)

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

And here's the problem. You want to work this out so you don't have to go back home with your parents.

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You should not be living with this woman.

That's the point of living together. See if it fits. It doesn't. Move on.

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Man I have seen this so many times with friends before (Don't say a lot for company I keep) you hit a girl once you will do it again. Especially if it's over shit as dumb as this.. The fact she let it go so easily and didn't punish your mistake is even worse. This type of thing doesn't go away, the fact you have hit her shows that the ability to do that is in you and people do not change. Change isn't a real thing, people can appear to have changed but in reality they are still the same person but they have had something happen to make them have a need to make a conscious effort every single day to not do whatever it is they are trying to change. I'm not sure I explained that properly so to put it simpler, your nature is your nature, that won't change but if you get a big enough kick up the ass and go through enough pain for it to live with you, then you might be able to hide your nature but that will be a daily battle and rarely works out. The fact she let it go means you ain't getting no wake up call and it will happen again.

My 2 cents anyway.. doubt you'll take much from it because gauging from your responses this ain't the sort of answer you're looking for. I'm sorry to say though there ain't nobody here who is going to give you a magic fix. Stay with her if you're both happy, all problems find a way to creep up on you and fuck your life up though. If I were you I'd find a girl that wouldn't get a reaction like this from you.

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