Long story short, an aquaintance of mine was dating a woman recently, they broke up because he has no ambition in life, doesn't work and just wants to smoke weed all day [at 39 years old none the less] isn't big on self-investment or self-improvement what-so-ever, and he and his mate were perving on her 17 year old daughter[classy I know!] she's got PTSD and has problems he didn't wanna hear and generally showed little interest over her, thus she ended it with him.

A week later, we meet up to go stargazing[she's an insomniac] and then back to mine, I listen to her problems but don't make a move as her talking about having a mental breakdown isn't what I'd call an IOI, so I don't make a move.

on the way home however we chat and she says "it's good to make a friend finally", I turn and jokingly say "what you're friendzoning me now?" ect, we play and BS for a bit and have a little romantic moment overlooking the stars, just a friendly embrace no kissing just holding and she shows interest, I walk her home but didn't go for kiss cause she's got PTSD and I don't wanna add to her problems.

we talk online all week and I made it known that I wish I'd made a move and she tells me that next time I definately should do that, ect.

we aranged to meet at a gig, I go there she's sitting there with him and there all pally and such, he goes off to the gents and I ask if she's comfortable with sitting here with him after all she's said about him? she then downplays it as "oh it's no big deal, I was just venting" ect.

then she tells me she needs to be "single for a while", I downplay it as enjoying my own free time and try to not look so needy as she's obviously going to get back with him.

later on we walk home and she tells us that we can't both come into her home as it's one of those places where people can't have visitors passed a certain time, so we both aim to leave her, then she invites him in real quickly to "get a book he leant her".

Leaving me skulking off home like a plate of piss and then getting into a fight with a gypsy who badmouthed me[knuckles still hurting, even now] now obviously I'm moving on from this as I've got a good life and don't need the drama and ain't playing second fiddle to someone like him.

Now is this a case of I should've made a move the previous week and didn't or is it simply her ex has a hold over her, by which I mean if I had of made a move would the outcome have been any different?

any and all feedback/advice most welcome folks.

It's always a case of "should've made a move". There's no excuse for not taking an opportunity. Because when you slack, shit like this happens.

What does PTSD have to do with anything? stop finding excuses for yourself. Why do so many guys think women are these frail little creatures that must be oh so carefully handled? I mean, a kiss is seriously a big deal when you're what? 14?
Of-course I understand having self control and not acting like a caveman, but it's a kiss. It's a display of desire. If she's putting herself in a position of being seduced by you, it's your job to take her up on it and start seducing. What's the worst that could've happened? She would've said "no"? Besides the fact that there was a very slim chance of that being the outcome, would it have been worse than the soul-cringing aftertaste you were left off with walking home?

Anyway, I don't really understand why you'd want such a woman in your life in the first place. She sounds like a lot to deal with and I don't see the + value she'd add to your life, but that's not the point of my reply.

This is exactly why they say "nice guys finish last".
I mean sure, you want to be a white knight? by all means. Impress her with your self-control. Tell her you won't have sex with her even if she begs you for it. It can work. There's certain situations where that will score you huge bonus points. But you still have to show desire. It's self explanatory. You want to display self control? Then you must also have to display that which you are controlling yourself from.
What does not even attempting to kiss her display?

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I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

ALWAYS look for escalation.

Women are sexually attracted to dominant men who take charge and move things forward. NOT to the guy who sits down on her bed and lends her a shoulder to cry on as she talks about ANOTHER jerk who fucked her and left her.

I'm not saying to be an asshole, BUT that you should not be afraid to express YOUR wants and escalate. And if she's having sex with someone else, then PTSD is not a good reason for you not to escalate.

*in before RC and Neo collectively speak sense to the OP*

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