I've been doing "pick up" for a little over a year. My success has increased during that time period. However, I've hit a major road block!

I now intuitively understand the concept of building value so the girl invests in you (asks questions, messages you, puts effort into you, bakes you a cake watever). I have a g/f and several female friends. When ever I asked these other girls out it's usually a yes. We laugh have fun AND most importantly we do it again. These are not 1 time hangouts. When I message them they always message me back.

The sticking point: Girls never seem to message me to say lets go out or lets grab coffee or i'm in the area lets chill. I ALWAYS have to message them.

I want the girls to invest and i take this as a sign that I'm not building enough value (or something else) that when they are sitting around asking them selves, "who should I hang with tonight?" I'm not getting the behavior I want (which is a message or call)


Any thoughts opinions ideas I would greatly appreciate. I would ask that if I made some logical error or you think I have a hole in my philosophical understanding of this material please include that in why you think I'm getting stuck.

Very much appreciate it!

it's hard to really tell without meeting you, but this could possibly be helpful. If you already have a girlfriend these other girls that you see know you aren't available, and will likely want to hangout with guys they can get sexual with or whatever. Its like girl code that you don't hit up other girls boyfriends if they are friends or whatnot. Also, people want to hangout with people that make them feel good. For example, ask more questions to girls you are hanging out with to get them talking, and compliment them in ways that make them feel good, but not in ways that are sexual. Such as "wow you are really good with kids" or things like that. If you make them feel good, they will want to hangout with you more and will likely put in more effort.

It's a mans job to lead not the girl's. If you have female friends as in the non intimate type they do tend to suggest things but once you're into the sexual type of friends you have to take charge.

Means you're not "cool enough."

Put yourself in a line up with 20 other guys... Why would a girl want to spend her time with you over all of the others? Or would a girl even bother?

You've gotta be that 1 guy who makes her heart skip a beat.

Because you constantly contact them. So why would they do any work when they know you will anyway?
There's nothing wrong with leading and all that, but you also gotta let them follow from time to time.

If they really never do, then yeah, maybe you're not as awesome as you think just yet.

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Thank you all for this great feedback. It really helps is getting a new / different perspective. I think Themaijamethod said it best with why would a girl want to spend time with me vs the other people in her life. I got some work to do Thanks again