| Week 1:
#close HB#1
F-close HB#2 (explain its just sex, no relationship; she replies: "we're adults, I understand)
Week 2, and 3
Go on holiday; kiss-close a native HB 10, some contact afterward; some FB and WA contact; nothing serious.
Week 4
start using tinder. Get 2 day two's but 1 gets cancelled, another is no show. After the no show, I walk into a bar, meet with a girl I've know for years, she was acting kind of desperate, I was too...so hence F-close HB # 3. She lives nearby, we have a lot of things in common. Again; I explain her I already have a lover; we can be friends, we can even love each other. But there will be no commitment and no exclcuiveness. She's sees this as a challenge and is determined to change my mind. We share emotions (romantic time together, friendship (sharing stories, personal problems), and great sex.
Week 5
Things are getting weird. Letting go of the outcome is easy now. Chicks seem to notice they need to work hard to get me attracted to them. I get bombarded with IOI's in bars or at work.
At the same time, I arrange some tinder dates, and reactivate or keep warm old flakes or dates that were "so-so".
week 6
Get invited for a speed date by a tinder date. Arrange day 2 with HB # 4.
Go out sarging with a battlefield-promoted wingman I picked up at the speeddate haha, he blew a fantastic 3 set by asking me what the name of the writer of "the game" was. But I was close to picking up a HB9. It sucked, but my game felt supertight.
After a weekend of gaming like this, I usually turned to one of my "lovers" to give me satisfaction. Zero frustration about bad sarge; inner game only getting better.
week 7
during the week, a little drama erupted with HB#3 on SPAM. I freeze her out.
On a friday I go out with a friend. I ask a hired gun out on a date, just to see what happens. SHe says yes, but I have to wait. So we can leave her out of the HB# thing for now. An hour later, I get talking to this girl that works with a guy I know. We share some laughs. I isolate her, while my friend is taking out the obstacle. I use Mystery's "i'm trying so hard not to kiss you right now" and bammm: kiss close HB #5. The next day, I have a tinder date, and F-close her within 4 hours of meeting her. We'll call her HB # 6. Again. I explainded her, before and after having sex. That I already have two lovers, and that she shouldn fall in love. SHe keeps saying she wants a relationship, but can't resist me and is already in love with me.
The next day. I cook dinner for HB # 4. A most ironclad bitch shielded women if ever there was one. She probably never had been with a guy so relaxed on a date. She kept hitting me with shittest after shittest. Sometimes it was like she wasn't even there. At the end she stated we were not going to kiss. I just looked at her silent and said: who said anything about kissing? THen I went silent again...and she stated: but I would like to date you again. It was game in reverse, with 10 inch armour plated bitch shield... it was surreal.
I was in the car. Flabbergasted about how this pickup thing is spiralling out of control in a succesfull way. HB #3 calls. SHe wants to talk. I get in her bed. She says she doesnt want the "lover" thing anymore, especially because she thinks I cant handle it emotionally. I ask her if things are finished. SHe says yes. I feel kind of relieved. I get up to go. She grabs me, wants to give me goodbye hugs or something. I feel abused and struggle away from her grip. Then I walk out the door. 30 minutes later, she rings me. Says she needs to talk about stuff and is sorry. But doesnt want to talk on the phone. Totally exhausted by nothing else then female maddness and my own lust. I fall into a deep sleep.
Week 8 (this week)
this tuesday I have dinner with HB#3, we have a good conversation. SHe tells me stuff from her past. She explains again why she wants a relationship, I explain again it's not possible and I need this thing with myself to go up continiously and I can offer nothing more then to be a lover. ALso I tell her flat out, I fall in love with different kinds of girls. I hurt her, but she cant resist. We have the best sex so far. BUt I decide not to sleep over and stay in my own bed.
Wednesday, I practice with the band. There is a girl 11 years my junior. I smell her parfume. She wears tight jeans. Wants me to recite stories I told her. Smiles too brightly every time our eyes meet. SHe sparks fantasies in my mind. I want her... I can have her... everybody will hate me if I conquer her... Sometimes I think I go mad. I can almost feel the attraction, but at this point. When I was singing with this girl. I got scared. I feel I am running hard into a sex or love addiction. I never used drugs, and quit drinking 2 yrs ago and video games 1 year ago. It is almost as if my brain has found a new toy to get addicted to. ANd the toy is a dangerous mixture of lust, egotistical pick up scoring need and filling the validation void. THat night after practice. I call another tinder girl. We plan a day 2 for 3 weeks, because she goes on a holiday. I long back to the days that I was annoyed when a girl wants a date but has a holiday planned first. I was relieved now.
Today I reactivated HB#1 through SPAM, after a 2 almost 2 month freeze out, she is an absolute 10, and the only serious girl for me that qualifies as relationship material. Which brings this story full circle. Here are my questions.
1. How the F do I manage this logistically and timewise? My agenda is now packed with booty calls and dates; and new ones are flowing in. Yet I am reluctant to rejecting girls or telling them its over. So I freeze them out and I notice they start to try hard to get my attention or keep booty calling me. I had to dissapoint HB # 2 and #3 on several occasions.
2. How do I manage this emotionally, I told 2 of the three lovers that its just that, but they fall in love anyway and hope they can fuck me into a relationship, of which I know it will never exist. I feel I managed expectations verbally, but maybe thats not enough? I feel guilty and this fucks up my game and my sexual appetite.
3. How do I handle the "slow daters"?. they play it cool and make me wait. BUt I kind of like it, because I can wait with the "yo listnen up, I'm single and I just want to be lovers, and you're not the first" speech, until they show serious interest. Paradoxally (at least to a man), they are more attracted to me, because I am so non reactive and calm, yet at the same time, exciting, mysterious and fun.
Personally, I think of cutting even the lovers of which I think I am either hurting them, or its to much fuss to meet and have sex. Or just let them get used to getting freezed out and turn the frequency down. To make us both more hungry for sex, so the sex itself will be more intens, but then make us wait for it for a month or so.
I understand this is quite a piece of text. But a few months ago I was in quite a depression, because of a breakup and felt like the most unnatractive guy on earth. I kept working hard on myself and my game though and now this tidal wave of succes is the result. I find it very important to handle this right!
So if an experienced guy coudl shed some light on this, please do!
_________________
"Always leave her better then you found her"
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CHAT
