Hello everybody.

So I met this girl online a few weeks ago... I'm 33 and she's 27 and she's super hot, I mean... she's at least a solid 9, I'm not kidding. And she's successful professionally speaking, super smart and fun as well. She sounds very confident when she texts and talks. However, I think she's playing me, lemme see if you agree with me and please tell me what u think.

We started talking online then I got her number. She NEVER initiated conversation. Our convos were always fun and she seemed 100% interested. But she never texted me first.
She would always answer my texts almost instantly or quickly but never initiated conversation. Also, she ALWAYS ends conversation first.

She lives far away and next month she is coming to my hometown because she will be visiting a friend of hers . So 1 week after we started texting she told me that and I was really happy. I even asked her out, and though she's saying she is "hesitant about it" she is giving me hints that she will go out with me.

However since she never initiates convo I don't want to seem desperate so I text her every couple days. Our convos are always flirty and extremely fun. She never ever asked me why I don't text her everyday, she doesn't seem the clingy type like most girls.

2 days ago she told me out of nowhere that if we are really going to meet, she had to hear my voice first. Note: I wanted to call her before but she told me she wasn't comfortable with it. I thought about not calling her just because she asked me to do it, but instead I called her later that night. I told her "well perhaps I will call you" then she said "listen, do it if you want to. I am not forcing you to do anything. It's up to you now." I got a little pissed but I called her anyway.

When I called her she answered right away and our phone call was really fun and flirty as well. I like talking to her, we have the same sense of humor. But then one hour later she told me she had to sleep and she hung up.

I didn't text her yesterday, and neither did she.

I don't have her Facebook but we have FaceTimed once and I am 100% sure she is who she is.

I don't know what to do to make her seem more interested tbh.

I tried to build comfort and even showed her one of my writings - I'm a writer - and I sent her a little poem I had written years ago. She said "Hey that's really good" but she didn't seem amazed by it. Then I began a little roleplaying, joking about buying a house in the suburbs and having 3 kids with her, she just sent me "what if I'm a downtown girl?" reply and nothing else.

When I called her she answered right away and our phone call was really fun and flirty as well. I joked about marrying her again, even matched our names and she said "please don't say such a thing, you can do better than that."

I don't know if she's just a tease, if she's interested or if she's playing me.

I admit I'm a player myself so I don't know if she noticed that I'm a player and now decided to play me as well...

So now I don't know what to do. She is giving me mixed signals and I don't know if she is playing me or not. What should I do?? How can I make her seem more interested? Any help is appreciated.

Do you know why she doesn't initiate conversation and always ends your conversations first? It's because she knows she's hot and knows she has options.. and if she's as good looking as you say she is, she's got 50 other guys blowing up her phone, all trying the same shit you are trying.

I don't think she's playing you as much as she's a bit indifferent towards you.

You can't find a local girl? You're throwing all your eggs in this one basket that may or may not happen in a month or so?

You need to diversify badly. You need to be doing this with 10 or 20 other girls concurrently with this one. This is a pickup site/forum... not a 'this girl is amazing and I need to devote myself to her before even dating her' forum.

Joking about marriage, kids, etc - repeatedly - creepy and a red flag for her potentially.

Listen, here's the deal. You may get this girl out in a month... and you may not. I'm thinking she's going to flake on you with an excuse about her friend... Want to keep her warm (which is really your only option here)? Do what you're doing. A text every couple days. Keep it light and funny. I would favour calls and Facetime myself.

Beyond that - as I said above - diversify.

Bingo.

Guys really need to to target better demographics. Why bother talking to girls across country when you can limit the radius to local girls. People tend to think that you're throwing away pussy by doing this. But the fact is...you need to zero in on your niche in a good demographic and NAIL it.

Otherwise you're just throwing shit at the wall and seeing what sticks which can give you Oneitus and bypass all these local girls you could be meeting and having REAL interactions with instead with faceless attention seekers across the country.

Give this chick an ultimatum to meet you. (Don't don't do it in a needy way) and then stop texting her. You want to be person who is only replying. That's when you know you got a good lead. Who ever is replying has the power.

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Thank you for your advice, bro.


The thing is - I am starting to get pissed off.

I was mad when she hung up first - why? Because she said

"Oh, if we are ever gonna meet, I wanna hear your voice first".

I didn't want to behave like a dog so I said "well, perhaps I will call you later".

Then she said :

"well.. do it if you want to. But I don't like the idea of meeting someone without hearing the person's voice first. It's up to you".

I wanted the meeting to happen so I called her a few hours later, after having dinner.

Then we had a very fun convo ( 1h and 30 min) and then she said she needed to hang up because she had to get up early the next day to go to work.

I was fucking mad at myself because she must think I'm a fool. She made me call her, I did, and she didn't even had the politeness to let me hang up first, she was the one who hung up first. SHE ALWAYS ends the convos first.

Moreover, most girls I call always send me a text right after the call or the next morning saying "oh loved talking to you", etc. She didn't send me a thing. I decided I wouldn't send her anything either.

And when I told her I wanted to meet her and that I was very serious about that, I asked her what kind of food or what drink she likes, she told me and then I thought "well she is definitely going out with me" but then she ALWAYS says "oh... IF we ever meet..." or things like "you know I can't be too nice to you."

I'm fucking tired of this.

IMO she's a fucking player.

It's a shame she is the only woman on the planet

Oh wait...

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She is not the only woman on the planet but I'm interested in banging her.

I guess. Would be good if it was mutual.

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Well, I am interested in having sex with her.

So what's ur advice?

And I wanna have sex with Nicole Scherzinger - I'm not sure if it's mutual though...

I gave you advice and you blanked it bro

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I havent blanked it.

She has agreed to go out with me already but she wont initiate conversation

You need a few more girls about. I have noticed when I get talking with a girl who I like is that when she knows I am dating OTHER girls it drives her a little wild. I ain't saying get her jealous or anything but don't let her think that she is the ONLY female in your life. Girls pickup on this.

Maybe neg her or put her on the spot a little. I find asking girls what makes them attractive, makes them want you more as you are picky.

I agree with the girl. If I was her k wouldn't wanna meet a random internet guy too and would wanna hear his voice too.

I would try meeting this girl but don't obsess over her. Think like this, she is 33? so she isn't exactly 18 any.more Infact she should be the one begging you.

Edit sorry she is 27

You know, you could always just be the first to tell her to call you, or for her to arrange something or for her to text you first...

But something tells me you know that you cannot do this.

Why?

It's what I said before. She's got 50 other guys doing exactly what you're doing, and she loves that she's able to manipulate you. She knows you'll do what she asks. So will most of those other chumps. If you don't, she'll move on to one of the other 49.

It's a shame that while you're doing that, she'll be fucking the guy who won't give her the time of day, and who has 10 other girls on the go, so she's just not a big deal. Someone who has diversified. Someone who isn't afraid to say "fuck it" and actually find another girl or 10.

The sooner you realize this, the sooner you'll have a chance.

I feel like you're reading the advice here but not ingesting it.

Don't like being her patsy? Listen to Dragula. She's not the only one in the world and no one is making you take her bullshit. Ultimately broadening your horizons and having options is how you're going to get ahead.

Now lemme tell you what really happened... I think I screwed it up now...

So we talked for the last time on the phone on October 13th. That's when she hung up saying she had to sleep, I got pissed and you know the rest.

Then I decided not to initiate contact again. If she were really interested, she would come and message me, right?

So 3 days went by, and nothing. She didn't say a thing. I didn't say anything either.

Then on October 17th (which was yesterday) - I knew it was her birthday, but I didn't text her or call her. I was pissed and I wanted her to see I was pissed and ignoring her. I thought she would text me the other day, but in the evening I found out she deleted my number - why? We talk in SPAM and some people change their settings so that when they delete someone's number the deleted person won't be able to see their userpic or status.

I cannot see her userpic or status so that means SHE DELETED MY NUMBER YESTERDAY.

Was it because I didn't wish her a happy birthday?

Now what do you think? Was she playing me since the beginning?? Was she playing hard to get? Is she spoiled?

Should I go and talk to her?

Are you a stalker?

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Some people are just so thick.

Good luck to you, OP