Chappelle, it's pretty simple. To have sex with a woman, you have to offer something of value to her. Now that could be good emotions or in the case of straight up gold digger/prostitute types cash or wining and dining. If you don't want to spend money, then you have to give her good emotions. Now that can either be she's attracted to your looks, or your intrigue, or charisma or sometimes you make her laugh. Most guys who get into pickup, do so because they may want to sleep with chicks, without spending $. Hence, they work on becoming more attractive, physically and personality wise. I don't know if you've done this but if you're getting women using you, its because you offer little beyond your money. So fix that. Ask yourself with any chick you date, why should she sleep with me?
You can either pay for sex, be charming and cool, or do a bill cosby. But you ALWAYS will have to offer a woman something to have sex with her.

This right here.

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My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

A Bill Cosby he says........

Well that's a better answer from neo at least, though still off topic. And I was not quite uninformed of this.

For the record, I have been sleeping with chicks without spending money. Other chicks seem more intent on getting my money of course.


But this is not the point I was trying to make. Perhaps yall need another example.



I was talking to this one chick the other day, and we had not even banged yet, and she started talking about getting married. For real. Like, right then she wanted to go down to the courthouse.

I still wanted to bang her but fuck no I aint gonna marry this crazy woman! I kinda just sat there and smiled till she got all prude.

I mean, I could have tried pursuing the idea, right up until it came time to buy the ring, and then just been like "yea fuck this it's not happening". What I did, was not pursue her fantasy, and it shot down my game.

And I am also saying, in examples ranging from this to harboring much less consequences, women I talk to always seem to be trying to get me to support their fantasies. If I did just walk away from every chick who tried to get me to chase their fantasies, I would be cutting out most chicks.

So what do you guys do in such situations?

You either have some serious trouble in identifying playful banter, or are obsessed by the idea of women trying to get something out of you.

You really think she legit was willing to marry you? Who the fuck was this woman? a methhead you found by a dumpster? What do you even mean by "supporting her fantasies"? Playing along with made-up scenarios?
That's called having fun.

I see you as a really dark and brooding person. Those are the vibes your default attitude project. Do you irradiate negativity like this in real life as well? Because in that case maybe you really do attract some seriously fucke dup women.

_________________
I know my place. It's me on top of the world.

My in depth texting & dating guide.
There's no such thing as shit-tests.
How to keep a girl.

I have a friend that has this vibe that attracts chavs, methheads, beggars to fuck with him where ever he goes...

Could be a similar thing. Perhaps you always attract trouble in general chappelle? You're very intense about everything.

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Can you give the details on how this marriage conversation went down? Like specifics.. Where you meet her what you were talking about what she said. Granted your first example was just you being a bad manager if this other woman is just crazy she's crazy. It just sounds like you are seeing things that aren't there or attracting a certain type of woman.

I don't see how much more simply I could explain it. In the marriage example, I could have played along right up until it came time for me to pay for the ring. She seemed quite serious.

I am fine playing along, but then chicks actually expect me to spend money, and shoot down my chances if I do not.

As far as how the convo went down, I was testing being all gushy cute with this one chick, and she was actually down to meet, so we met at a starbucks just to chat for a bit, and then we went for a date at a Dave & Busters. We played video games for a while then we went outside for a bit and just sat n talked for a while. She started telling me about herself, and how she grew up with a lot of younger siblings, and that she had to take care of them a lot, and she was tired of taking care of kids, and that she did not want any. But that she still wanted to find someone serious, someone that would marry her. I had told her like how pretty she was earlier, and some gushy lines about how she could break a heart with that smile, and threw in some sexual innuendos and stuff (this was all before this convo about her and her siblings) and then she wanted to know about how I felt about getting married. What did I think about getting married like right then.

I guess my prolonged silence gave away the fact that I thought this chick was crazy cause we barely went on one date and didnt even bang. I havent talked to her again.

If this same scenario happened to you all of the time, then I'd understand (not relate) what you are going through. This is an example of one crazy girl. We all get crazy ones from time to time but I haven't gone through a majority of crazies.

If I were to ask a girl out, I'd expect to pay for going out. Even if she offered to split the bill, I'd pay because I asked her out. When girls ask me out, they usually offer to pay. So if you're asking girls out, don't be pissed if they're expecting you to pay.

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Yeah and even then, good girls will get the next round or get the taxi, or pay for the popcorn or something...

There is no reason to go into defence mode

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I'm gonna be blunt so don't take offence.. Plus I'm rushing. It's but crazy for a girl to say whether she wants marriage one day on a date. It's screening. Now it is crazy to say she wants to get married that moment to you. But I highly doubt that's what happened. Even crazy chick's are not like that. You can be Brad Pitt and a crazy fat chick on a date may be crazy for you but she isn't going to suggest marriage right then. I highly doubt that even a fat crazy chick would have said this seriously to you. It's crazy and if this supposedly happens to you often then it's that you're seeing things. Girl probably said she wants to get married one day and asked you and you took it wrong. Unless she was a fat desperate chick.. Even then....i doubt she'd be so into you to really want that on a first date. What's weird and I think the biggest thing holding a lot of you guys back is you say people always hate you and you have bad social skills and you have aspergers.. But somehow you are confident you can read situations correctly. What you described does not happen. And if it does happen it's from an ugly chick. And if it does happen from an ugly chick it's rare.

It's funny how kinda hypocryt this is. You don't want a girl to use you because of your money, BUT it is perfectly fine to use a girl only for sex. The integrity in this man is low

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Professional Badass.

The problem is actually in your way of relating.
You are treating that girl at work as though you are an authoritarian parent or a shitty school teacher.

Punishing someone for not displaying the behaviour you want at work, as you have noticed, accomplishes nothing but to make them hate you. it's a very very unhealthy way of relating that denies other peoples autonomy and I guarantee if you bring that attitude into a LTR of a marriage you are never going to have the kind of relationships you want. Period. Those are one sided relationships.

Beneath every behaviour is a feeling or a need.
If you have a problem with someones attitude at work, take them aside privately and tell them something like what you have said here. "Look, everyone was impressed with your saltiness, but the fact is I need good workers not talkers. I don't want to have to give you shitty jobs to punish you, so tell me, are you on the level here or not? are you going to work hard and be part of the team? If so we will get on great and I will support you. If not we're gonna have a problem."

The problem with punishments of this kind is they are not a way of relating, they don't give another person any kind of information whatsoever on your thinking. They just make other people mad and blame you.

You have needs and those needs are valid. The clearer you can be when you tell people what you want the greater your chance of success.

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those who say it can't be done should get the fuck out the way of those doing it

I think this statement is fundamentally incorrect even if I disagree with the OP on his problem. You sound as if you're saying that paying for things is the trade off for wanting a girl for only sex. Women like sex too, so it isn't really hypocritical.

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/facepalm

So much is wrong with most of these comments I don't even know where to start, and am really just considering why I waste time here.

Fundamental it seems to most of the erroneous assumptions I am seeing is that I should pay for a chick in one way or another for sex. Because chicks find it oh so horrible when my tongue is running across their clitoral frenoms until they have convulsing orgasms right? I should definitely have to pay for the privilege of them having an orgasm. It's not like its an activity we can both enjoy.

I guess my situations are just not happening huh? Yea, they are pretty invalid, like the opinions I am seeing here.

I can't imagine how you guys have just been going around leaving the door wide open to get used for cash and not even recognizing, not even being able to imagine, that it might be happening to you. That there are plenty of chicks everywhere who do it. That you can't even imagine it happening long enough to give me a straight answer as to what to do if you're trying to bang a chick like this. If that's really the case, then I got some 10s I want you to meet who are totally DTF and love players. Just send me some cash so I can buy your plane tickets so you can get here.

Now I am sure you all have opinions you want to share with me and that your time is worth so much that you will painstakingly endure to spare a moment to benevolently share them with me. I am oh so eager to hear them, I will definitely be coming back to read them all. If you want to streamline the process for me to read your comments, please send them directly to where they deserve to be, which would be my trash bin.