Sup bauss.
Today, I want to share with you a super simple body language move that
automatically makes girls giggly and flirty.
It's so stupidly powerful that you can combine it with almost any line or piece of banter, and it'll still make girls attracted.
It's cuz the move screams confidence and status.
Before we get to that, however...
I'm gonna share with you my weird (and hilarious) Friday night.
After a titanic amount of writing for the day, I meet Jesse at Trailhead to hit some beers and see where the night takes us. The night didn't disappoint.
Apparently things had kind of blown up with this girl he was trying to game, Charlie (yes, a girl). He got the number off cold approach and then met up once with her before it fizzled. Honestly, pretty damn good for the level he's at, considering the paltry amount of approaches he's done.
We chatted a little bit about his conversation skills, and how he thinks he might improve. I relay some things that Colleen and Holly have told me about conversations with him, so that he can take that into consideration.
Here's a brilliant thing he did as well: When he sensed that it was a dead end, he asked the girl for feedback. Although a lot of girls will be too polite and give you bullshit like, "not in a place for a relationship right now", once in awhile a girl will be self aware enough to spit some truth at you.
We start chatting about Jesse's insomnia problems and his PTSD from an intense incident in his life several years ago. It's something that's affected him a lot, and I'm about to get to work empathizing when this girl that I know Lauren walks by.
Lauren's a tall brunette, slamming body, very attractive, and very well traveled. The last time we talked, she told me about her stay in China. I note that she's accustomed to Asians, so she's more likely to be attracted to Asian men right off the bat. I had invited her to a potluck thing in the summer, but unfortunately she was probably miffed that I had invited her and then ignored her the ENTIRE time to flirt with Amanda.
She comes up with a smile, we hug. Chat for a minute or two, and then I ask her who she's here with. A friend. I tell her to bring them over and introduce us. She responds with an animated Yes.
As she leaves, I slap myself a bit to wake up and tell Jesse to mentally prepare for socialization with strangers. I start yelling random words at him like unicorn, Leonardo Dicaprio, and sweaty babies. He has no clue what I'm doing and just laughs at my weirdness. I'm just verbally flowing, yo.
Lauren brings a tall, good looking white dude, TJ over. We all start chatting. I self amuse and everyone starts cracking up and having a good time.
I'm starting to get a weird vibe. Lauren is animatedly talking to me, seeking rapport and blah blah blah, I sit back amused. Her boy toy looks a bit miffed. Then she'd realize, and go back to having subdued, pacifying conversation with him to reassure him. I call it "pacifying the puppy".
TJ is a cool dude, tho, don't get me wrong. He's just reacting normally, like most dudes would in his situation. He's also moving to Seattle in a week. Wut?
Jesse and I agree to head to Lucky Joe's after his beer. I tell the other two, they're welcome to come or not come, whatever. Lauren excitedly agrees and drags puppy man along.
While they're paying their tabs, Jesse and I are outside. I think that part of Jesse's motivational and apathy problems stem from his lack of sleep, which stem from his unresolved trauma and his lack of anyone close to talk to and help alleviate his trauma. In my personal opinion, he should get back to being closer to people, TELL people about this experience, and not have it haunt him indefinitely.
Of course, I can't straight up just tell him this or it won't stick, I have to wrap it up in an influence tactic like story or challenge or metaphor or commitment / consistency shit.
I fumble a bit, but it was a reasonable start:
Yo, I'm gonna tell you something. I know that you're somebody who, if he wants to get something done, he does it. Look at how much weight you lost. That couldn't have been easy. You're one of those people that doesn't shy away from things that are hard, and if you really want something, you go for it. *he nods*
This thing with that accident, some people would let that haunt them forever. They would let it bother them for years and years and years. I don't think you're one of those people. I think that if you really wanted to move past this, get close to people again, and start LIVING again, you'd be able to.
So take that for what you wil.
I'm not quite sure if my little attempt at psychological influence judo for changing behavior worked wonders or not, but it didn't no nothing. It at least planted the idea and affected his self image a little bit.
Lucky Joe's has a line the size of the Great Wall of China, so we head to Illegal Pete's instead. I grab some tacos. I look back and Lauren and TJ are at the bar and from across the room I can tell that some random idiot is hitting on Lauren. Lol.
We all head upstairs. We sit down and start chatting. Everyone is still cracking up at literally everything I say. It's so easy.
TJ is vaping and bowing out to smoke cigs. Yuck. While he's gone, Lauren excitedly tells me about Nicaragua, Chile, and all these other places she's traveled. She's animatedly telling me travel stories, and qualifying herself (I've been to 26 countries! blah blah blah).
For Nicaragua and Chile, I stop the bullshit and actually listened. I was curious, that caught my attention. I inquire a bit more, her eyes are bulging out of her head with how excited she is that I'm actually impressed. I qualify her, telling her she's got some ovaries to be traveling alone like that, and that I'm impressed. Her head nearly explodes.
Jesse is trying not to smile at all this.
TJ comes back and Lauren goes back to "pacify the puppy" behavior. Jennifer, my teaching assistant that I had hooked up with before, randomly comes in and runs into us. She comes up, gives me a big old hug, and kisses me on the cheek in front of everyone.
Her boyfriend comes in a couple minutes later. Lol.
They've got a couple peeps with them, we bullshit and laugh.
My man Daisuke shows up. I greet everyone with a big smile and handshake. Jesse mentions he's going to go soon, I mention I'll probably head out soon as well. Lauren asks what my excuse is, and tries to convince me to stay longer. They want to go to Tony's, a dance-y type place. I contemplate it. What I really want to do is go back and write, lol.
I let her work for it a bit, try to convince me, and the finally I say yes. TJ is mister frown town, but is putting up a good effort to hide it. To his credit, when he interacts with me it's good natured and flowing. I do my best to pay pretty much everyone more attention, including TJ, than Lauren.
On our way out Daisuke takes a pic of us and throws it on Facebook. We take some funny pics outside with a dude dressed up as Venom (wut?) and head to Tony's. Jesse peaces out in the middle.
At Tony's I run into Javi, my lifting buddy. I can tell immediately that he's royally fucked up. Drunk as a sailor. He tells me he might be making a regrettable decision, and he's meeting up with an ex. I die laughing and tell him to have fun.
Upstairs, Lauren and TJ are dancing, and I chat a bit with Daisuke. Lauren keeps looking at me and smiling, and asking me why I'm not dancing. I tell her I have arthritis lol. I bullshit with Daisuke a bit, and then after I finish my water I tell them all I'm going to hit it. Lauren's face immediately falls. Lol
I tell them all it was good seeing them, and peace. On the way back to the car I run into two dudes, dressed full drag. Lol what a weird night.
I get a message from Amanda. I get home and send one back. She sends me:
Does it feel like this is working for you?
I send back:
Yeah. How's it feeling for you?
Her:
It's alright. I still can't shake this sad emptiness...
I call her.
I tell her to describe her thoughts and feelings to me.
From what I can tell, the gist of it is that while she's still attracted, committed to making this work, and invested, she gets random pangs of sadness about what happened, and she still has reluctance because of a fear that it might happen again.
She tells herself that if she comes "crawling back to me", it might end up in a big "I told you so" if I break her heart again.
I empathize, tell her I know exactly what she's feeling. I've been there myself, I've had my heart stomped on, and I've had those feelings of reluctance, fear, and I've even had the "I told you so" moments. I told her that for me, I know that good things and working to make love work is always going to have bumps in the road and some risk involved. I told her that those three weeks were absolute hell, and that I'm scared too, that that might happen again. But I accept that risk because the relationship is worth it to me.
She almost mentions how she thinks that she's a limiting factor in my life. Like, I have to shift everything around to fit her schedule, and that she's a burden on me. I reassure her that that's what I want to do, because it's in the cards we were dealt. She hears it, but I don't think she believes it.
We make plans to hang out the next day, and hang up after a 35 minute phone call. I felt like it was pretty productive.
Analysis of the night!
Hypothetically, if I were single, I'd probably arrange things with Lauren as such: I still have her number from before, so in person I would probably talk about running together or something, since I know she runs. Then I'd send her some invites to go running. I'd patiently wait till puppy man moves to Seattle, then just let her escalate logistically.
Did a good job managing Amanda's emotions at the end of the night.
Did a fantastic job gesturing, self amusing, and practicing influence techniques. Will keep working on these in the future.
I think writing a lot, and using a TON of commitment / consistency / challenging to change behavior in my book has helped me think about those things a lot more, and to have them become more automatic in everyday speech. Now every time I want to change someone's behavior, I'll practice these influence tactics.
BOOM!
Oh! I almost forgot...
That body language trick.
Now, I'm going to tell you in a bit, but I want you to realize something.
99 % of the people reading this will glaze over this piece of value, read it, and be like okay. They'll do nothing.
The badasses that will go FAR, get the women they want, and live the lives they dream of will read it, IMMEDIATELY take action and apply it, and reap the benefits.
I'm not quite sure which one you are, but it's too good not to share.
The move is called the smirk.
Practice this one in the mirror, and practice brief, witty, self amusing lines in conversation. After the line, follow it up with a smirk, and watch the girls smile, giggle, and flirt back.
Good luck, action-taker.
Ning out
CHAT
, but thanks for the gesture, I appreciate it!
" and hold it..
