I understand what you want to happen here. I really do.

But take a step back, detach yourself from the situation and read the quote above.

This is not how healthy relationships operate. The goal in a relationship is never to make the other person feel insecure or unstable. That's the exact opposite of the goal, actually. You're a more caring person than that.

You should really read the book Attached.

I suspect you are an "Anxious" type. She is almost certainly the "Avoidant" type.

Which, if she is, means your plan won't even work because when you pull back, she'll actually feel good about it. It'll feel like she wants it to. By thinking she'll automatically pursue, you're projecting the response you would have if she pulled back on you (if you are indeed leaning towards being more on the "anxious" scale).

I had about 15 pages of work written for this ebook. Scrapped all of it, it was crap. I now have a better structure, a more defined writing pattern, and will deliver a better product. I've been writing for about two hours now, and it DEFINITELY helps. I'm concentrating, I'm focusing, my phone's away, and I'm not thinking about AE girl.

My anger / frustration / hurt that she's not initiating goes away whenever I concentrate on that crap.

Either way, whether it works out with her or not, I've got to solve this problem, and it's by working on this and maintaining my state through this and running. My focus needs to be on this shit, not on her, and that's what I'm struggling with. The less thoughts I have of her, the better.

Wrote about 2 hours yesterday, a lot more to come today. Gonna finish this damn book if it's the end of me. Channeling all my frustration into gobs and gobs of words.

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My Pick-Up Journal

Daniel, you're right. I don't want to manipulate. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to make her unstable.

What should I do? I don't want to keep chasing and contacting her. I do want her to feel good about this relationship, like she WANTS to give to it.

I'm back to just accepting when she has free time, not blaming her for anything, and just concentrating on my own shit to make me happy.

What's your advice on this?

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My Pick-Up Journal

Let's look at the likely and unlikely scenarios.

First, it's unlikely that either of you will do a complete about face. She's unlikely to just start giving and investing out of nowhere. You're unlikely to stop wanting her to do that.

So the only real solution is to meet in the middle. Is she even willing to do that?

If not, you're going to be in for a neverending cycle of frustration and resentment. It seems to me that some level of compromise (and fulfilling on those compromises as it seems that just days later she's given you a bit of an empty promise) is the only scenario in which things are likely to work out.

And we can't even be sure she'll want or be able to do that. Or that you will.

Look, neither of you is right or wrong. You just have different ways of operating in a relationship. I've been there.

At the end of the day, if you can't rectify those differences, you are either going to have to a) live with a relationship that isn't what you want and try to learn to be happy anyway... or b) accept that it's not right and move on. Which is where it would eventually help to recognize that there are other great girls out there, maybe even some that don't come with such opposed views of relationships to your own. That's just statistical probability, given that there are literally billions of women out there.

That may end up being the choice you have to make.

Ch ch ch changes!

My mood is getting back up there. Finally.

Wrote a shit ton yesterday and today. Basically neglected PhD stuff and just typed and typed and typed today. Gonna get this ebook done by the end of the semester. Then it'll be all marketing, sales, and platform building stuff from there.

It's been really good for me to focus on something for me. I put my phone away, I don't check that shit, I focus, I don't think about AE girl, and it's fantastic.

I watched a couple Jason Capital videos on YouTube that really reframed love for me, and what love means between guys and girls.

I also read an email today from Adam Lyons detailing what a healthy relationship looks like and a toxic one. This combined with Daniel's comments flipped something in me.

Hey, I know you must've been busy and tired these last couple days. I also know you're stronger than most people and can do well despite that. Want to let you know that I support you and am here if you feel like venting about your day (I love vent-fests) Hope you kick some major gluteus today <3 Ning

Her
Danke, grin emoticon
Hopefully life slows down for me soon

We chat a couple more sentences, and at around 5 she asks me to study together. We meet up at Wild Boar Cafe for an hour (I had to leave for a softball game), and chat and flirt the whole time. Damn she's cute. Unbelievably so.

We crush it at softball, mercy ruling them 20-5 or something stupid. AG girl and I chat and have fun the entire time. I leave softball on a high, feeling the best I've felt in three weeks. I was able to socialize, have fun, self amuse, and had everyone laughing the whole time and I didn't check my phone once. Amazed.

I get home and text AE girl before I sleep:

Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst
You rock
Good night

Her:
Hey, you! You also rock
*smiling taco emoticon*

Things are good, finally figuring this shit out after being through the meat grinder.

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My Pick-Up Journal

Thursday!

I wake up to this text from AE girl:

I got here kinda late today and so there was no parking so I thought, maybe I'll check Ning's street. Haha, then I saw Kevin and I probably looked super creepy just driving in then leaving.

I reply:

Hahahahaha nice. In dire times we can fit 3 int he driveway and hang the key if people need to get out

Her:
Haha, thanks. I could also suck it up and walk a little more. Haha. Hey, you up for tango tonight?
I promise I wont ignore you

Me:
Yeah, I'm up for it

*end of interaction*

Thursdays are my epic days, where I basically teach all day. I was flying high in a great mood, and when I came out of my last lab at 5, to my surprise AE girl was there at the door. She had just finished a class next door. JH girl, my teaching assistant, leaves, and I show AE girl around the lab I teach in. It seemed like she tracked me down just to see me, how sweet!

We meet at 7 at tango, and it's a good time. We flirt, joke around, and have fun dancing with each other. She pays for my lesson, I was lacking in cash. After the lesson, she asks me if I have plans. I tell her I had some friends going to Road 34, I had thought that she would have studying to do. She doesn't. So instead, we decide to go on a walk.

I take her hand, and we stroll all romantic like around downtown. We stop at Ben and Jerry's and grab some ice cream. We sit down on a bench, and chat a little bit. She tells me about her Spanish lesson with EF girl. She said that they talked about me. She says she's still scared that she will get hurt again, and that she hasn't told a couple of her friends.

We chat some, and she tells me that all the rational thought and logic just fly away when she's around me, and she just wants to be with me. My heart does a bit of a jump skip and a hop, then stands up proudly, full of ego. She tells me she's missed this, just hanging out with me, SO much. She puts both hands on my hand and caresses it. Then she puts her head on my shoulder and I lean my head on her head. I tell her I'm crazy about her. I'm in heaven.

I finish the ice cream and we walk some more.

We find a piano, sit down, and play some songs.

We walk back to the tango place, to a little playground besides the public library. It's fun and playful, and we prance around the playground laughing and singing.

After a little bit of this, I'm at ground level and she's on this raised platform looking down at me. I climb up on the outside of this structure, lean over the wall, and we kiss. It's like some scene out of a goddamn movie. I'm sort of in danger of falling off and breaking my femur or some shit, so I climb over, and she hugs me tightly. I hug her back in silence.

We just keep hugging for awhile, and then I lean back against a structure, and she leans into me and keeps hugging me. I return it. This goes on for awhile. She then looks up at me and I melt. Goddamn she's beautiful. She reaches up and kisses me, and we kiss for a long time. Each time I lean out of it, she leans in and keeps kissing me. I'm now a puddle of jello inside.

I sit us both down, and suddenly the mood changes. She's sad. Sad about the way things happened, sad that it was all so sudden. We talk about it, I validate her feelings. We agree that because it happened, we've both learned from it and it is less likely to happen in the future. She's still sad for awhile, and leans her head on my knees. I hug her, and we just sit there for awhile.

Eventually we get up to go, and as we walk back to the cars, she mentions how she's a romantic at heart. She can't wait for the snow fall because she thinks it would be so romantic for us to walk through the snow at night together. I make a mental note, and write it down in my "Amanda notes" in my iPhone for later.

She also mentions how she wants to ride the trolley in town. I write that down as well. The talk about snow puts her back in a good mood, and when we get to her car we hug goodbye for a long time again. A couple times, we're like okay, time to go, and then she'd reach in and hug me again. Adorable. I kiss her goodbye, and peace out.

Flying HIGH AS A KITE I meet AG girl and some folks at Yum Yum's, a Greek place. Come in, loud as a motherfucker, self amusing and slapping people with Pita's and shit. Dancing to gangster music. I turn all of their states upside down, and soon enough everyone's having a great time. I devour a huge meal, and then give AG girl a big hug before calling it a night.

I send AE girl a message:
Have a good night you disgustingly cute human being. MWAH

Been doing great with the ebook, I'm really excited about it. Have been working non stop in all my free time, and I can see it taking off and getting people the RESULTS they want. My niche is going to be dating advice for Asian guys. A narrow niche, but according to some a narrow niche is good.

The ebook I'm writing is basic principles for all dudes, though, and I'm using Jason Capital's teaching style, emulating his use of commitment/consistency principle, and it's coming out a lot smoother and better delivered than the first draft.

I'm gonna do this relationship thing with Amanda right. Going to banish all my neediness, support her, and give both of us the experience of LOVE we crave and deserve. YES!

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My Pick-Up Journal

Post these things. Curious to see what you're talking about. Danke.

Don't have the email from Adam Lyons any more, but here are the two JC videos:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsOuxqFb0iA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U02LMQxVlNU

The real clinchers were that that feeling I was getting from getting frustrated that AE girl wasn't initiating contact was actually neediness. Don't have any clue why I didn't realize this before, as it is pretty apparent. Once I saw it and framed it for what it truly was, and banished it, everything started getting better.

I was concentrating better, feeling better, not concentrating on her as much, and giving her good energy and value instead of putting off bad vibes. The consequence was that she was contacting me more, asking to hang out more, and the relationship was put back on a healthy track.

The second video had something really click for me: I won't EVER get the kind of relationship I want if I don't see MYSELF AS THE PRIZE.

The Adam Lyons email outlined some things in toxic relationships that I saw in myself: neediness, anger, frustration, manipulation. Made me stop and rethink my approach.

Yesterday was solid, was very good about writing and productivity, after the gym around 7 I give Amanda a call. We chat a bit, and then I grab Subway and head to her lab. She does homework while I eat, and we chat and flirt. When I finish, I give her a hug, she hugs me back, and I leave to shower and grab my shit. Meet her back at the lab, and I grade while she continues doing work for a bit.

Afterwards, I drive her to the Alley Cat and drop her off. We kiss tenderly and make out a little bit before she gets out, and then I go see the Martian with my boys, JK bro, DY bro, M bro, and CL bro. The movie was pretty bomb, I nerded out cuz there was so much science.

Call Amanda after, and tell her about the movie. She gets all awkward on the phone, and I assume it's cuz she's with friends, so I bid her goodnight and head home to sleep. She messages me in the middle of the night letting me know that one of her best friends, AN girl, didn't react well to me calling.

Understandable, I'm pretty sure AN girl hates me (defriended me) because of the frame AE girl put on me while she was all hopped up on hatred and bitterness. We'll have to figure out how to reverse that one, because they are close friends.

It'll probably involve me having to convince AE girl to tell AN girl the whole story, including everything that happened after and during while we were getting back together, as AN girl only knows the story from where we broke up.

Either way, not too worried about it, as things are going well between AE girl and I. We are chatting, communicating, flirting, and connecting well.

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My Pick-Up Journal

Saturday goes well!

I boost it up to Tony Stark levels of productivity, typing words and words and words. I've written about 16 pages since restarting the ebook, in about half a week. My PhD work is lagging because of it, but no matter. Once this thing gets off the ground and starts generating income I'll drop out of grad school and focus on it full time.

I've typed 16 pages in 3-4 days. Almost done with module 1 of the book, and there are 10 modules. LET'S GO! I'm super proud of what I've done so far, and this book will transform dudes into the badasses they are destined to be. I'm emulating Jason Capital a lot and using commitment / consistency principle in it.

Ran 7 miles, then went to NS girl's birthday shin dig at the Rio.

I get in, start chatting with DY bro, we start laughing it up. I meet some new people, start laughing and self amusing with CS girl, who came from Denver. We all start having a good time.

After the Rio we all go to Town Pump, I sit down with HR girl, AG girl, and CS girl, and we gossip about love lives and other friends and laugh and have a good time. I chat a bit with HR girl, my ex, and it's been the first time that we've been able to chat and laugh and have fun since we broke up in early February. It was nice, and it felt good. She told me that she's not drinking any more because she's on medication, she might not be doing too well. Hope she's alright.

We migrate again to Blind Pig, sit and chat about Disney movies and shit. Laugh it up, and then I talk to AG girl and listen to her talk about RI bro some more. Give her some validation and listen to her. Then I decide it's time to go. I hug some people good bye, give AG girl a high five that turns into a meaningful hand clasp, and then peace out.

Things I'm working on: consistently gesturing more when I talk. Puts me in a better state.

The next morning, HR girl sends me and AG girl a random Facebook message. Seems like she enjoyed the interaction and is interested in being friends again. Yay!

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My Pick-Up Journal

22 pages. Second module out of 10. I'M GONNA FINISH THIS SHIT AND MAKE MAD $$$$$$$. Straight outta FoCo.

I exit my morning food grab and see Amanda across the street. OY! We wave at each other. I know that she's got work all day, but we might get lunch. She stops and changes direction toward me, I change too.

A short exchange and a hug later, I'm off to the lab. Hannah (HS girl) calls, and we chat on the phone for awhile. My self amusement muscle is so strong with her, and she's cracking up all over the place. Gosh I'm witty.

After that, I work on my ebook until noon, when Amanda and I meet up for a short lunch. On the way to grab it, she tells me how she had a frustrating morning. I do my normal thing, validating her feelings and complaining with her. We grab food and head to the Behavioral Sciences Building, where we sit and chat. It starts off just me telling her shit about the last couple days, asking her some stuff, me leading basically. When there's a lull, she and her awkward self resorts to, "so how are you?" Lol

I get her talking though, and eventually she starts laughing and smiling. When it's time to go, I give her a hug and go back to the lab. I collapse for a nap. When I wake up, I see that she had invited me to help her feed mice (her lab work). I call her, but she had finished. I go back to the lab, do more lab work and work on my ebook more. I'm a machine. An absolute robot. I was thinking about taking Aderall to get this ebook done quicker, but I think I can finish it in a couple weeks.

I'm SO pumped to fucking finish this ebook and start marketing it through affiliate marketing on ClickBank. I think within the school year I'll be able to start generating a living income and quit the prison that is graduate school.

I'll devote full time to this, earn even more money, and start enjoying the freedom that I so often dream about. Maybe I'll travel. Maybe I'll move somewhere, Southern Cali maybe.

I don't know how I'll bring this up with Amanda. I know she sees us long term, and I do too. That means that some day I'll have to break the news to her that my goal in life is to be a dating coach, run my own business, and have shitload of dollars. This will definitely jostle the little box that her mind lives in. All in good time, it'll take some psychological judo for sure.

Something along the lines of, "You know what I like about you? You've been more accepting and open to new ideas recently. blah blah blah" Lol

If y'all haven't read Cialdini, get to it. That shit is off the heezy.

Someday I will look back, read through this journal, get to this post, and realize that I've achieved all I ever wanted. The thought keeps me going, keeps this train roaring down the tracks.

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My Pick-Up Journal

Ok. Going to start journaling harder with my goals.

Things I did well today:

Worked a shitload, got a lot done on my ebook.
Didn't get needy with Amanda.
Was able to validate her feelings, joke around with her, and put her in a good mood.
Self amusement muscle strong with Hannah and with Holly (HR girl). Reminds me that I'm a hilarious motherfucker.
At the end of the day called close friends (Luke, Lauri, mom, sister, Hannah) to keep in touch. Hell yes, been wanting to do better in this category for awhile.
Doing better with calorie intake, snacking on sunflower seeds in between meals.
Gestured while talking on the phone with Hannah.

Things to improve:

Working on self amusement, carefreeness, and state control in front of Amanda. She is often not in a great mood, and it rubs off a bit on me. For the future, each time she's not in a good mood, I'll figure out the cause, validate her feelings, then self-amuse to flip her state as quickly as possible. That way, I'm giving value to her just by giving her good emotions each time we hang out.

Can be even more focused and driven while working. From now on, phone away. No Facebook. Just straight productivity.

Didn't exercise today, which is okay. Ran yesterday and will double up lifting and running tomorrow.

Keep working on gesturing, pumps state.

Mental movies / rehearsal / visualization for tomorrow morning before the day starts: (shout out to Psycho-cybernetics)

1. Carefreeness and self-amusement in front of Amanda
2. Focus and no distractions while POUNDING out work
3. Gesturing and tonality on point while talking

Random side note: Amanda is a real romantic. For her to want to make out and get all those oxytocin feelings, I need to set up a romantic situation. Although studying together and eating is fun, and I can make the state fun, what she really craves are those romantic movie moments.

Gonna keep some notes in here on experiences I can give her.

This week there's salsa dancing Tuesday night and tango Thursday night. My best friend from High School, Luke, is flying in Wednesday night all the way from New Hampshire so getting all romantic Thursday night is a no-go.

On other weeks though, after Spanish club Tuesday nights and tango Thursday nights, there's an opportunity for romance. If she's free and gives me signals that she wants to hang out, I'm going to have the plan of going on a walk, and the playground seemed to work out really well last time.

Walking around the lake at city park would be romantic as well.

Strolling down Main street.

Hiking.

Going somewhere for the sunset would be really nice, going to think about setting that up better.

Food's been less romantic, but is still an okay way to hang out.

A show or a museum visit might be alright, cuz we get to dress up.

Oh! Spontaneous dancing. That's some good shit. If there's music, I'll casually start slow dancing with her. She'll melt. YES.

Ok tangent over. If y'all have any ideas let me know. I trust that not all of you are horny dudes trying to stick your dicks in warm things, and that some of you still believe in romance.

_________________
My Pick-Up Journal

After I typed the last journal entry, it's like 9 on a Sunday night and I'm eating food / reading Cialdini, when my phone rings. It's Amanda. I pick up, and she tells me she finished her work, it's not too late, so would I want to hang out a bit? I'd love to!

I immediately wash my face and brush my teeth. Haha

She arrives, I throw out the options of go on a walk or chill and play music. She chooses chill.

I break out the guitar, and I spend maybe an hour and a half teaching her a couple songs. She gets in a good mood, we start laughing and smiling. I'm entranced watching this girl. I feel like I've got that doggy dinner bowl look on my face. Need to control myself.

I put the guitar down after, hold my arm out, and she cuddles up next to me on the couch. We start chatting, and then start gossiping about our friends. I tell her about Allison and her breakup drama. I tell her about Angela and how she's mad at me.

Amanda asks more about the Angela thing, and I tell her the gist. It's kind of a weird story, as Angela had some sort of PMS moment where she just fabricated drama out of literally nothing with like 5 different people.

First, she texted me to get Jesse (Jk bro)'s number because she had heard that he was talking shit about her (he wasn't). Chewed him out like Laffy Taffy. Then got mad at her roommate, Allison (AG girl), because she "didn't have her back" and didn't tell her that Jesse was "talking shit about her" (he wasn't). Then she told me that Allison was "on her shit list". Allison was talking to me about how Angela at her for absolutely no reason, and then I told her yeah she told me. Then Angela got angry at me for telling Allison "behind her back".

All in all, basically a wild goose chase. A laughable one at that.

Amanda then asks about the Shana story, which I mentioned. Basically Shana had gotten angry because at Holly's birthday party, she was trying to play "happy birthday" on the flute while everyone was drunk (lol) and I kept asking her to teach me how to play the skin flute (double lol). I tell her the story, and she laughs her head off.

She shows me a couple pics on her phone, and tells me a story about how angry she got once at her "arch-nemesis", a really annoying girl that ended up dating a dude she had a huge crush on all of high school. It's a good story, and although she doesn't believe it, I tell her that she's a good story teller, and I liked her story. This'll get her to share more personal stories and open up more in the future.

I show her some pics on my phone, and she ends up asking me about a couple of the girls in there (I have like 5 million pics of me with girls on my phone and on Facebook). I tell her about Marina (MR girl). Look back in the journal for that story. I gave Amanda the cliff notes on that one.

Then Amanda asks about Nora (NS girl). I tell her the whole bathroom cabinet story (look earlier in the journal for that one too), she cracks up laughing about it. I'm such a good story-teller. Ego swelling.

She asks about Bethany (BI girl). I tell her that whole story, which is a hilarious one. I don't think I've written this one out, so here it is:

August 2014
I basically met Bethany on OKC and we went on a date. Went well.
I invite her to a potluck, went well.
I invite her to a couple more group events, she doesn't come. Two weeks go by. I assume she lost interest.

I go to Tour De Fat, meet a cool dude there named Matt. We talk a bit, and find out that we had both gone on an OKC date with this girl Rachel. Hilarious. We chat and laugh about that, and we get on our bikes for the tour. After, we're walking around getting beers, and he tells me he's meeting another girl off OKC and she's with some friends.
We're walking around, and I hear someone yell my name. It's Bethany! She's got 2 friends with her, we all introduce ourselves. Matt pulls me aside and asks if I know her. I'm like, yeah, we went on an OKC date once. He's like, oh, that's the girl I'm meeting. LOL

Bethany's two friends make like 2 huge trolls and leave her with Matt and I. Lol

For the next couple hours, we proceed to get drunk. Matt is attempting to flirt with Bethany who is attempting to flirt with me. She invites us back to her house, close by. On the way, she jumps into me and lands on her foot wrong. I can't tell if she's just looking for attention or actually hurt.

We proceed to play some music, Matt just watches. He gets the hint and eventually leaves. Bethany and I end up dating. The next day, I find out that Bethany's foot is ACTUALLY broken. She wears a cast for 3 months, during which we date. The day before she gets it off, I break up with her because she was being hella needy.

Amanda is dying laughing from this ridiculous story.

We laugh and chat some more, and we talk about our different types. She wonders why she's only dated older dudes (a 27 year old and me). She thinks that guys her age might just be too immature for her. She tells me that she (like most girls) has a subconscious mental checklist she looks for (girls like to think they do, but then end up being attracted to dudes that don't fit the checklist at all).

Her checklist consists of: musical (check), likes dancing (check), athletic (double check), and tall (check). She's flexible on the tall part. Oh yeah, and Asian (hella check).

Just kidding, I threw that in there.

Where have I been all her life?

I tell her she's the perfect height for me.

We're cuddling, basking in the flow of oxytocin. I tell her, "I love you." She says, "I love you." She tells me she's only said that to her dog (died last year). Doesn't even say it to her parents. Hasn't ever told a guy that.

We lay down on the couch and cuddle for awhile, just her head resting on my chest and our hands entwined. I'm in heaven. After awhile, we glance at my phone, it's midnight. She mentions how she should go, but doesn't move. I agree.

We go back to cuddling. I tell her I want to kiss her before she goes. She nods. I tell her I'm not going to let it escalate out of hand. No response from her.

She takes my hand, and moves it to her mouth. Starts kissing my fingers. Then starts sucking on them. It's very erotic.

She moves up and we kiss, pressing our bodies together. We caress each other's faces. She starts putting her hands in the neck hole of my loose shirt, touching my neck and collarbone.

I take her hand and put in under my shirt. She spends the next 15 minutes touching me all over my abs and chest and back, lightly, teasing the shit out of me. She skims the top of my boxers several times. I'm writhing and breathing hard. She's getting really into it, breathing hard on her own, getting turned on by how much she's turning me on.

I touch her under her shirt, on the skin, on her lower back, lightly, like she's doing to me. She starts breathing hard and making all these feminine sounds. I'm on cloud 9.

My leg is between hers, and she's squeezing her thighs together a lot. After a while she throws her leg over like she's straddling me, except we're both on our sides. It was basically an invitation for me to dry hump her. I don't do it, though, as I know that might cause a breakdown.

After awhile of this, we settle back down, and I tell her she's really good at that, whatever that is. She smiles that goddamn smile of hers. I smile back. I tell her we'll call that the Amanda move. We laugh a bit.

We glance at the phone, it's 2 am. She startles up in a jolt. She's gotta be up and going in 4 hours. We pack her stuff and get her going. I ask her if that was too much, she says she doesn't know, but her emotional state tells me that she won't have a nervous breakdown.

On the way to her car I tell her she's always welcome to crash at our place. No response, which means she seriously considered it. That way she doesn't have to wake up till 8:30 or so. I don't push, and she just lets momentum carry her to the car. At least the seed is planted for the future.

In the morning, I message her on Facebook:

Me:
Hey you. You gotta be crazy tired right now... We should stick to a curfew in the future. Sorry, it's at least partially my fault, I'll be more aware next time

Her:
Yeah, I am kinda mad at myself... not starting a big week off on a good note is gonna bite me in the butt.
Sighhh, but, these are the consequences of my choices.

Me:
Hey, part of the blame is on me, I knew you had an early day and just got so caught up in it
So transfer some of that anger over to me
Let's set an alarm in the future
Will snap us out of that hazy emotional fog that makes everything else disappear

Her:
Yeah. 11:30.... so i can be home by midnight?

Me:
Yeah, that's good. Good luck today, I know it'll be tough. Let me know if you want me to bring you a coffee or something

Her:
Thanks, I think I'll be alright.

Me:
Ok. Stay tough

Her:
I also. .. don't like doing that when your room mays are home. I feel like that i am being super inconsiderate. So, idk, I'm gonna tone it down.
Mates*

Me:
Yeah, I agree. That couch has seen way too much action
We'll def tone it done
Down*
I want you to still feel comfortable in my house, so yeah let's make a joint effort to keep that couch rated G from now on

Her:
Perfect
Great. Thanks

Me:
No worries

I'm definitely handling this shit a lot better. Gonna start cleaning my room from now on, and buy a room freshener.

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My Pick-Up Journal

Went to Johanna's (JS girl) potluck last night.

Background on her: We went on an OKC date. After a couple dates started hanky panky. FWB's for a couple months, she told me she wasn't monogamous. It was always her initiating, and one day she just stopped. I was okay with that, didn't initiate either. Drifted apart. That was back in the spring.

Randomly last week she messaged me and invited me to this thing. Super shocked.

I go, greet her and other people I don't know, it's an Italian themed potluck with people who were very hippy. They were lightning up bowls and shit, I ain't about dat lyfe.

Chat with Jo for awhile, she tells me she's going to Ecuador to travel and then Hawaii. Awesome!!

I eat just a gargantuan shit pile of food. Just obscene. Self amuse a bit, but get bored real quick with people. My self-amusement muscle is strong, but people are just so poor at socializing. They just all seemed too "chill" and hippy-ish for me. I kept thinking to myself I would rather be writing and working on my ebook. I finish stuffing my face and peace out.

Call Amanda on the way home, chat a bit. It goes well, she sounds happy.

Get home and pass the fuck out at 9. Wake up at 2 am, couldn't go back to sleep. Wrote a couple pages on my ebook (yes really) and then fell back to sleep around 4. Woke up at 10, ready to start my day. Almost done with module 2. This book is gonna be THE SHIT. I'm confident any scrub going through this book and completing my program will come out the other side a certified, grade A badass.

It's my mission to get the badasses of the world the lives and the women they deserve, and I'm not going to stop until I do so. Ning out

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My Pick-Up Journal

Posted this on the 1k/day Jason Capital Private Mastermind group regarding my target market:

Regarding the ravenous marketplace:
I'm trying to decide whether I should focus on the niche of dating coach for Asian men or dating coach for badasses (a la JC).
Being Asian, I would resonate more with the market for the first niche, but I'm not sure if it's too narrow or not. I've researched on this topic, and the current top Asian dating coaches seem to be DJ Fuji, Bonsai, JT Tran, David Tian, and SquattinCassanova. They seem to be doing alright, but not all of them direct themselves directly at the Asian part of the market.
Plus, I don't want to do ALRIGHT, I want to do AMAZING.
Hit me up with thoughts.

Another dude posted:

There's billions of Asian people. Its a monstrous and ever growing market. If they're only doing alright its because they are only alright marketers.

I think there's truth to what he said, and that going for the narrower, more directed niche is more optimal.

Daniel? Thoughts?

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My Pick-Up Journal

Ha! Ran into Marina at the library. Said hi, exchanged some words, and I went to keep going, and she actually turned and walked with me a little bit of the way. I stopped, chatted some more, then bid her goodbye. Girl is giving me vibes.

She is severely cute, but obviously I'm dating Amanda, who's on a whole nother level of cute.

I didn't even toss out the "we should hang out sometime!" to Marina, even though I could tell she wanted it. Proud of myself.

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My Pick-Up Journal